My Pointless Point Of View

709: Farewell Caprica

2011-02-02T22:13:00.002-05:00

First off, Happy New Year! I know it's been a couple of months, but it's been busy, and honestly, I just haven't felt all that inspired to write. Something clicked in me though when I watched the last episodes of Caprica this week and I felt like chatting.

My feelings have been mixed about this show ever since I first heard of its creation. My first thought was "OMG great!" Battlestar Galactica had just ended and my need for more episodes in that universe was pretty strong. Once I heard about the actual plan for the series though, my excitement was kind of tempered.

Rather than being a military drama like its cousin, Caprica was going to be more of a sci-fi soap opera, dealing with the lives and tragedies faced by two families, the Greystones and the Adamas. The show was set 58 years before the events of BSG took place. At that time, nobody had heard from the Cylons in 40 years after a decade-long war, which meant that Caprica would be placed 8 years prior to the war's start. That meant that there really wouldn't be any action until the later seasons...if it ran that long.

The pilot was terrific. I loved the idea of a virtual world where people could interact and do whatever they wanted. It sort of combined the concepts of Star Trek's holodeck and today's MMORPGs, all in a fancy set of specs called a "holo-band"...pictured below.

It had religious terrorism, which is always a polarizing subject, and the overall grit you came to expect with a show set in the BSG universe. I set aside my doubts for the moment and started to get geared up for what I hoped would be my new favorite show.

Once the series started though, it kind of lost steam. The characters took a while to take shape, and the plots were sometimes very hard to follow. Most TV series have an A and B storyline. Caprica was overly ambitious and tried to have A, B, C and occasionally D stories and it was just too much to put into a 42-minute episode. Each plotline got about 10 minutes, which didn't allow you to really get invested in any of them. The writers wound up trying to establish so much so early that they didn't do anything well. They didn't create characters that people could get behind like they did with BSG.

That rush to establish everything puzzled me because there were essentially 8 years of stories to tell before the Cylons revolted against humanity. I know that a lot of TV shows take a while to find their footing, and I'm sure Caprica would have eventually gotten it right, but the thing was, it was on cable and in a very tough environment. If you ever look back at the DVD commentaries or interviews with the creators of shows from the 1980's or 1990's, you'll invariably hear things like "It took us a good couple of seasons to find the right mix" or "We didn't really hit our stride until season 3".

It's sad that Caprica didn't get that opportunity, because if the last 5 episodes were any indication, the writers had found the right mix. The stories were paced properly, the characters had interesting twists, the plots were interesting, and there were only 2 stories per episode. Now, the question to ask is, did they do this because they finally settled in, or did they hurry things along a little because they knew there wasn't going to be another season? Sometimes staring the end in the face motivates people.

Overall though, I think that the concept of the show might have been a bit off. Fans of BSG had come to expect gritty, dark, intense stories with a healthy dose of space fighting mixed in. Caprica by its nature had none of that. So, those of us that got hooked on the action found themselves sitting on the couch asking nobody in particular when there was going to be something good coming. Corporate maneuvering and crime family backstabbing wasn't quite the same as watching a basestar explode after a really good fight.

I think the producers realized this too, since their next attempt at a series set in the BSG universe is called Blood & Chrome. It follows a young William Adama during his first tour of duty aboard the newly-christened Battlestar Galactica. Basically it's a return to the style of storytelling that we grew accustomed to with BSG. Hopefully this one succeeds.

Despite its shortcomings, the finale of Caprica was pretty impressive, and I would definitely say that it was the best episode other than the pilot. I got really into it. They wrapped up some of the loose ends nicely, and took a few minutes at the end to put together a montage that kind of gave the audience a condensed version of things to come. Whether it was a teaser for a potential second season, or a series wrap-up, it was done very well. They even settled a frustrating point for the fans that only a few would notice or care about. Read on if you want to be totally geeked out.

The actor who played young William Adama in Caprica had brown eyes. Some fans complained about this because in BSG, Adama was played by Edward James Olmos and had blue eyes. If this kid was going to grow up to be Admiral Adama, how could it be the same character? Did the producers really fail notice something that obvious, especially when they took the time to put blue contacts on the actor who played a teenage Adama in BSG flashbacks? Well, this was answered in the finale after young William was shot in the stomach and died trying to protect his father and uncle in a fight.

My first thought was "WTF...they just killed the guy who is supposed to grow up to command Galactica". Then I realized that they had to resolve it somehow, and they did. They flashed forward in time as part of the final montage and had his family marking the anniversary of young William's death by performing a ritual that involved honoring his name by passing it on to his half-brother...his brother whose nickname was Bill. Bill had bright blue eyes. Problem solved!

I would have loved for this show to have been a little better than it was. It had a lot of potential, but I think the fans just weren't ready for something so radically different than Battlestar Galactica. Ah well. That's entertainment I guess. It'll live forever in DVDs. The Cylons were pretty cool though. =)

So say we all!

708: 151...And I'm Not Talking About Bacardi

2010-12-07T20:05:00.002-05:00

Last time on Jacob's medical history...I was spending the month of November free of antacids to prepare myself for my return visit to the hematologist. Well, I went last week, and it wasn't exactly what I was expecting.

I had managed to get a pretty good grip on my emotions and had really calmed myself down nicely. I wasn't having much acid reflux, and my headaches were gone. I was convinced that everything was finally going to be ok. I walked into the office actually feeling pretty good, and sat down for my bloodletting.

When I went to the exam room to wait for the doctor, I happily checked my Twitter, played around on Facebook, and perused my emails. When he walked in, I expected good news, but I got the opposite. My platelet count, which had risen to 138 the last time I had it measured, had dropped to between 101-111, and my lymphocyte count was still higher than it should have been. This puzzled the doctor and frightened me. He said the next step was to do the "full workup" as he called it.

I asked him what he thought it could be, and he said he wasn't sure. He said he understood that it was "anxiety time" again and that he was sorry to have to make me wait again, but the only thing we could really do was wait for the test results to come back, which would be about a week. Needless to say, I was not happy. I finally had gone into a doctor's office NOT expecting doom and gloom, and I got slapped in the face with a brick.

I saw a piece of paper taped to the exam room wall that indicated what tests should be performed for what conditions. What I saw made my stomach twist. In addition to some relatively minor things like thyroid conditions and hepatitis, there were the big boys like Lupus, Leukemia and Lymphoma on that paper. I left the office wanting the week to fly by so that it would be next Tuesday already and I could get the results.

For the first few days I was ok. I was reasoning things out in my head and refusing to go online to look up what could cause the abnormalities that they had detected. I had gotten to a pretty good place. I was pretty calm and rational about the whole thing, telling myself that it was likely nothing, and even if it was something serious, it was early enough that it would likely still be treatable. Yes, the occasional horrific thought seeped into my consciousness, but I tried my best to hide it away.

I really started to feel anxious last night. Obviously it was the day before the big day and my mental barriers were starting to crack. I didn't sleep very well, and woke up feeling pretty bad. Thoughts on both ends of the spectrum started swirling around my head: What if it's cancer? What will I do? Will my life totally change? How will I manage this? What if it's nothing? What if it's something that they've never heard of? As 4 PM drew closer and closer, I got worse. I stopped trying to control my thoughts and just let them all out. At that point, the walls had been blown to pieces, and I just was too scared and tired to try to stop them anymore. At that point, all I wanted was to have the previous week back.

I met up with my dad at 3 so we could go to the office together, and I could see he was just as tense as I was. We tried to make conversation about the Jets game last night, the Yankees signing Jeter to a contract extension, the cats, work...anything. It worked for a little bit. Then we got to the office.

The first thing they did when I got there was draw more blood. I wondered why, since I was just going in to get test results. Believe it or not, that actually calmed me down a little bit. I thought that if it was anything truly awful, they wouldn't be taking a simple CBC. So I went back to the waiting area to be called. About 10 minutes later, I was back in Exam Room 13 waiting for the doctor to come in and give me the scoop.

He walked in about 10 minutes later and said hello. He then looked down at his papers and said "Well I don't see anything here". I wasn't sure if he meant the papers didn't have the right information, or if he was giving me the results. He looked at the computer screen on the wall and said, "It looks like all of the test results aren't printed out, but I do have the Leukemia and Lymphoma series".

I don't know if you've ever had a moment where your entire life just stops, but this was mine. The next words out of this man's mouth could change everything for me and my family. My heart was pounding in my ears and my throat, and I suddenly felt very weak and tired. My reality had collapsed into the examination room, and I was waiting to see which way it was going to turn.

He said "They look fine". I couldn't believe my ears. My eyes opened wide, I started to tear up a little bit, and I looked right at my dad and exhaled. I didn't realize that I was holding my breath. He did the same and smiled. The doctor then said he was going to get the rest of the results, but that "this was the big one for you, and it's ok". At that point, I didn't care if he told me that the other tests showed that I was pregnant. I dodged a massive bullet and I was really relieved. Actually I was more exhausted...but OK was OK.

To add to the good news, he told me that all of the remaining tests came back negative. No Lupus, no hepatitis, no thyroid problems, no HIV. Nothing. The blood they just drew in the office even came back perfectly fine. Platelets and lymphocytes were back to normal...hence the 151 in the title for the platelets. My comment to all of this was: "Then what the hell happened?"

The doctor said he wasn't entirely sure. He said that it was possible that it took the medication a little longer to get out of my system than expected. As for the lymphocytes, it could have been a viral infection. Either way, he said, everything had returned to normal.

My next step is to go back in 4 months for a final platelet check to confirm that everything is still good. He shook my hand, I thanked him, and my dad and I left to go meet up with my mom for a very well-deserved dinner.

This whole experience has taught me a lot. It taught me how to manage my feelings and how to approach a potential problem with maturity and calm, while still allowing myself to feel a level of fear. It reaffirmed that people really do love and care about me...not that I had doubts...but it's always nice to hear it again. And oddly enough, it also made me wonder if maybe there is something out there pulling the strings of fate.

Most people who know me are well aware that I don't think very much of organized religion. My personal jury is still out on whether or not there is some great force that links us and manipulates the universe. Sometimes it seems like there is. Sometimes it seems like there isn't. In this particular situation, you could look at it in 2 ways.

First, the scientific. This was a medical problem that was caused by drugs that are known to have effects on patients' blood counts. Eliminating the medication eliminated the problem. As for the lymphocytes, a viral infection could have caused their rise, and since that infection is apparently gone, the count dropped back to normal.

The other way to look at it is while all of the scientific stuff happened, people's prayers and requests to the being upstairs reached someone's ears and they decided that I had been through enough. It's a little more far-fetched, but still, after being through something like this, it does make you think a little bit.

Whatever happened, I am insanely relieved and grateful to have been given a clean bill of health. It's going to take some time to process all of this and calm down, but I am very glad to be sitting here telling this story with a happy ending. For those of you that have been following it and checking up on me, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. It really meant a lot.

This whole ordeal taught me how fragile life is and how to really value what you have, because it can all change in an instant. Thankfully for me it didn't, but there are millions every year who aren't so lucky. I think I'm going to start donating to the American Cancer Society. It's a good thing to do for people who really need it.

I'll try to get in another entry or two before the year is out, but if I don't...may you all have a happy and healthy rest of 2010 and 2011.

Until next time.

707: iPad & Kittens

2010-11-27T14:22:00.002-05:00

As promised in my last post, I'll take a few minutes to review the "magical" new device that as entered into my possession...the iPad.

A few weeks ago, I decided that I owed myself a little present after all of the stuff that I've been through over the last few months. The only thing that I really wanted was an iPad, so I got one. I asked my mom if I still had the bonds that I got from my Bar Mitzvah, and I was in luck. I checked the maturity status, and they were just about ready to be cashed in. Out of a possible $675, they were worth $588...more than enough for my new toy.

Rather than trekking into the city for my purchase, I went a more local route and picked it up at Best Buy. The price with the case and tax was $587.90...so clearly it was meant to be. Hehe. I got it home and immediately began playing with it. Of course, I had used the ones at the stores before, and a couple of my friends have them, but this was was mine, so it was obviously different. =) I was pleased to discover that in addition to most of my old apps, there were some fancy new ones that worked even better with this device. I especially enjoy the cooking apps, since it's much easier to prop it up and read a recipe than it is with the iPhone.

Overall I'm impressed with it. I mainly use it to play games, read books and watch movies. Thanks to the new VLC app, I no longer have to encode everything into Apple-friendly formats. I can take my old AVI and WMV files and plop them right onto the iPad. My only "issue" is that I was used to the retina display screen on my iPhone, so I had to get used to this one's more standard quality level. Still, it's much better than anything else out there.

While I do love the iPad, if I didn't have that money laying around, I don't think that I would have bought it. It's definitely a luxury item and I really don't have a serious need for it. It's fun to have, and I am glad that I do, but I understand when people say it's not a necessity.

Now onto the kittens. Things have been going pretty well. The boys are happy and getting bigger every day. They've doubled their size and weight from when I got them and seem very well adjusted to their new home. They tag team me in the mornings to wake me up when they're hungry, and they cuddle up with me at night. Everything was going perfectly until this past week, when they got their first colds.

Since the season changed so abruptly from being warm to butt-ass cold, I think it stressed the little guys. I noticed that Dax started sneezing last Thursday. By Saturday he was sleeping a lot and didn't seem like himself. His eyes were a little wet and he was sneezing even more. I was going to take him to the vet on Monday morning, but like magic he was fine. He was perky, his eyes were all dry and he was back to his old obnoxious self. Goober was another story though.

On Monday night, he woke up from a nap and I noticed that he had a really large string of grayish goo in his right eye. I figured maybe it was just some nap crud, but later on, his eyelids started to turn red and swell up and his nose began to run. He was sneezing all over the place and his eyes were soaking wet. I patted him dry and expected this to pass by Tuesday evening just like it had with Dax. When he looked even worse on Tuesday, I knew I had to do something.

I looked up local vets since I didn't want to take him all the way back into the city where the ASPCA was. I found a couple in the area, and the Forest Hills Animal Hospital opened up the earliest, so I called at 8 AM and made an appointment for 9:45 on Wednesday. At this point, Goobie looked miserable. He was still eating and drinking, but his eyes were so red and you could see his third eyelid protruding out.

I made a Zipcar reservation, packed up both of the boys, and went over to the office. The receptionist was very nice and the doctor was good. He was a little spacey with me (he didn't even introduce himself), but he took very good care of the boys. He said Goober had a fever and a cold, and that Dax looked perfectly fine. I brought him in just to be sure he didn't have anything left of his cold.

The doctor gave Goober antibiotic to counter any secondary infection and some eye ointment to help with the irritation and swelling. He showed me how to give him the pills and apply the ointment, and we were on our way home.

Having never dealt with this before, I can't tell you how scary it was. I didn't know if my little guy was going to make it or not. Common sense told me that he'd be ok, because I was watching him carefully and he wasn't struggling to breathe or wheezing or anything. He was also eating and drinking. He just wasn't his usual self and he was very sluggish, which happens to people when they're sick too. It's much harder to figure out what's bothering a cat because they can't tell you. You have to try to make them comfortable and let them rest while you see to their needs.

I was truly terrified when we were going over to my parents for Thanksgiving on Thursday and right before we left, I wiped Goober's nose and saw blood on the cotton ball. I checked the rest of him and it was on his face and paw. I think he scratched his cheek because I couldn't find anything anywhere else. I cleaned him up and when we got home, he was still ok.

The vet had told me that in addition to the cold, the eye problems were being caused by herpes. Much like people get cold sores from herpes, cats can get upper respiratory infections. It's a lifelong infection that they acquire from their mothers and it's worst when their young. I looked into the condition online and found that an amino acid called L-Lysine helps mediate the condition. It doesn't cure it, but it minimizes the intensity and frequency of the outbreaks. I went to CVS and picked some up, along with a pill splitter.

I don't know if it's the Lysine or the fact that it's been a week or so since he first exhibited symptoms, but Goobie looks much better. His energy is returning, he's eating and drinking much more and his eyes are starting to go back to their natural pink. You can still see his third eyelids and the eyes are continuing to run a bit, but it's noticeably better.

A week or so ago, I was talking to Tam about the cats and we were saying that Dax is the more irreplaceable of the two because he has a much more outgoing personality. Goobie is more of a standard house cat. After this week, I will never say anything like that again. He might not be as personable, but I wouldn't trade my little guy for anything. I hope this cold is the worst thing that ever happens to either of them. =)

Until next time.

706: May You Live In Interesting Times

2010-11-07T20:08:00.003-05:00

That's an old Chinese curse...and it's a good one. =) A lot has happened since my last post, and I figured it's worth an update, both to inform my readers and get some things out of my head.

After the scoping fun from the last post, I went back to the GI doctor to get the results of the biopsies. He told me that they didn't come up with anything. I was grateful and disappointed at the same time. I was kind of hoping for the H. Pylori infection, since that was the quick fix, but to no avail. He also said I didn't have Celiac's Disease or Barrett's esophagus, which is a pre-cancerous condition, so I was pretty thankful for that. What all of that meant though was that I have an acidic stomach and I need to control it.

While I was at the doctor's office, I told him that I was still feeling some symptoms every now and then and I was having some muscle cramping from the AcipHex that I was taking. He said he would switch me over to another drug, but wanted to confirm that nothing else was inflamed, so he asked me if I wanted to do some simple bloodwork. I said sure, and walked down the hall to the lab to get poked yet again.

I called back for the results a couple of days later and he told me everything was fine. I breathed a sigh of relief because he checked out my pancreas, liver and kidneys. Any inflammation there could have been an indicator of something more serious, so the fact that it was all fine was great. Of course, it was a short-lived feeling of relief, because he called me back a few minutes later to tell me that the test also showed that my blood platelet count was a little low.

I asked him what I should do and he said I should go to my primary care doctor to get another test to make sure it wasn't a lab error. I asked his office to send me the results so I could take them with me to my other doctor. Now in a moderate state of panic, I made an appointment the same day with my doctor to have blood drawn. I also began a frantic search online for what could cause a low platelet count and was frightened by what I saw. Most of the causes were not things you'd like to have.

Feeling the acid rise in my throat, I tried to calm myself down and I started to look up the medications that I was taking to see if that was a possible cause. Muscle soreness was a rare side effect of the AcipHex, so I looked into any others. I found that it was actually listed on the AcipHex PI as one of the adverse reactions, albeit in a small population. I calmed down a little bit and went to my doctor to get the blood drawn.

After doing some research, I discovered that a normal platelet count ranges from 140-450. Mine was 120 on the first test, which indeed was slightly low. I called back the next day to get the results of the follow-up test, and I was convinced it was a simple lab error since I had already dealt with one on my thyroid hormone a couple of years ago. When the doctor got on the phone and told me what the results showed, I felt my irritated stomach drop.

My platelet count had dropped to 108, which was 12 points lower than it was just 4 days before. While it still wasn't in the danger zone, he recommended that I go to see a hematologist (blood specialist) to figure out what was wrong. I asked him if he thought it could be the medication and he said he looked into it and it was a possibility, but better to be safe and get it looked at.

At this point I kind of lost it a little bit. In addition to the low platelets, my white and red cell counts were also a little low and my lymphocytes were a little high. Neither doctor had mentioned this when I called, but it was on both tests. I guess that they didn't feel they were abnormal enough to make an issue of them, but I felt like my brain was caught in a tornado.

Every possible diagnosis swirled around in my head. Cancer, Lupus, HIV, anything you could think of. You have no idea how frightening this was for me. A normal person would be worried, but I can be a raging hypochondriac. To now be told that I had to see a blood specialist to find out what was wrong with me was making my fears all too real. I was also frustrated because I had been seeing doctor after doctor after doctor and every time I went, something else came up.

I searched online for a good hematologist. I had narrowed it down to a few when my dad called me and told me that he had asked people in the hospital where he worked for a doctor. They had given him someone who was supposed to be one of the best, so I put aside my names and we made an appointment for the day off I was going to take last week to relax. Right...

We showed up and if I wasn't nervous enough, the office was filled with frail-looking elderly people, some of which were wearing the bandannas that are common in cancer patients. I sat there with my dad and patiently waited my turn. I was called in at 11:45, about 15 minutes after my appointment was supposed to be, which wasn't too bad. Of course, since we were fit in as a courtesy to my dad, and the doctor's PA was out, I had to wait almost another hour and a half to see him.

He was a really nice guy and listened to everything I had to say. I brought in all of my past test results, including my Pfizer physical from about 5 years ago that had my only other platelet test. That count was 151, so it was documented that I had a low-normal level to begin with. I asked the doctor if it could be the medication and he said it was a possibility.

The plan he came up with was to test me in the office and get the results immediately. If they were lower than they were the last time, he would run more detailed tests. If they were higher, he would have me come back in a month to test again for confirmation that it was back to normal. Sounded like a good plan.

I was happy and frightened to learn that I'd get the results that day. Obviously it's better to know right away, but it's still scary. I was thinking...what if the number is even lower? Would I have to run to a hospital? What would happen to me? I had stopped taking all meds as soon as I got the 108 number, which was 3 days before I visited the hematologist. He felt that probably wouldn't have been enough time to see a measurable change in the readings, but he wanted to do this baseline test anyway.

I had had so much blood drawn over the last few weeks that I had to alternate arms to prevent my veins from getting over-punctured. He took 2 vials of blood, one with a purple top and one with a blue top. They each had different preservatives on the walls of the containers and he told me that some lab results can give falsely low numbers if the platelets react with a certain kind of preservative. By taking 2 samples, he would confirm if that was the case.

About 15 minutes after I had the blood taken, he came back with the results. My platelet count had INCREASED. It was now 138, which was a 30 point jump over what it had been just a few days before. Since I wasn't taking any medication at this point, he told me it was almost certainly drug-induced. I asked him about the other blood counts and he said they were likely being affected as well. Since both containers showed the same platelet count, he said it was a valid reading. He asked me to come back in 30 days to get a final test to confirm everything was ok.

At that point, I was just so tired and worn out. I was relieved, that's for sure, but I was also a little nervous about waiting another month without taking medication. Even though it was causing me problems, it still was helping and to go without it was a disturbing prospect. I decided that I would try my best to work through things and make myself feel better. I was also really grateful that my dad was there with me. It helped calm me down a bit.

For a week or so I failed miserably trying to control my feelings. I was still experiencing the vice-like grip of tension headaches and tightness and burning in my throat. Then I remembered that my mom told me I could help it with deep breathing, and I gave it a try. Within a couple of days, my headaches got better and the tightness eased. It's still there, but it's better than it was. I'm hoping I can keep it under control.

This whole ordeal has left me feeling really vulnerable and wiped out. I've been so anxious and so tense that I would jump at any sound. It had intruded on my dreams. Thankfully though I seem to be sleeping a little better now and I'm really trying hard to calm myself. It's not easy though. When you've been through all of this and are still counting the days until the next appointment, it does a number on you. I got great news the last time and I'm hoping to continue that trend, but it's been a whirlwind.

I'm hoping that this teaches me to be less frightened of doctors and less inquisitive on the internet. It's a great resource for a lot of things, but health information isn't one of them. Unless you have a specific condition that you're looking up, wading into the pool of random symptoms can only end up causing you unnecessary stress. It's better to go get it checked out by a professional that you can communicate in real-time with. They went to school to help people, and that's what they're here to do.

So that's been what's going on lately.

Oh! I also bought an iPad. Hehe. I like it a lot. =) More on that in my next post.

Until next time.

705: Scoped

2010-10-18T20:42:00.002-04:00

If you have checked out my Facebook recently, you've likely seen the picture of me in the recovery room and wondered what the hell was going on. Well, partly to inform you and to clear my head, here's the story.

Back in January, when I was going through my first product launch, I was working crazy hours. And when I say crazy, I mean CUH-RAZY. In one 2-week period I put in 150 hours. That's about a month for most people. As a reward, I got one whole day off. As another reward, I started to experience something that would become an all-too-familiar part of my life.

If you put in 150 hours in 2 weeks, you're obviously going to have a lot of late nights. As part of that, you're going to be eating at odd hours, eating things that aren't the best for you, and drinking anything that has caffeine in it. I can't tell you how many Swedish Fish, Diet Cokes and coffees I consumed over that period, but I can assure you it was many many times greater than normal. I usually don't even drink coffee.

While I was doing all of this, I noticed that I was feeling bloated, cramped and had a tightness in my throat. I assumed that it was due to the fact that I was just totally off my regular schedule, and to a degree I was right. Once the launch was over at the end of January, things settled back down and after a few days of rest, my symptoms cleared up. Everything was back to normal until the end of March.

At that point, I had already left Area 23 started at GSW. I was thrown into yet another launch and worked about 130 hours in a 2 week span. That launch dragged on for weeks though and culminated in my working late on a Friday in April, traveling to my friend Ciara's wedding in Miami on Saturday, flying back on Sunday morning, going straight to the office, then working an 18 hour day and getting home at 7 AM.

During this launch, I felt the same tightness, cramping and bloating, except this time irregularity got added into the mix. So much so that I bought a bottle of magnesium citrate from Duane Reade and downed it just to be able to go to the bathroom. I was drinking coffee and Diet Cokes yet again and downing Advil to stop my muscle cramps and headaches. When it was all said and done, the symptoms went away again, but they took longer to do so.

Once that insanity was behind me, things really went south at the company. The department was in flux, I was overworked and miserable, and I needed to make a change. I was feeling a burning sensation at the base of my throat along with the tightness almost every day. The bloating came and went, and sometimes when I ran at the gym, I experienced a raw meat taste in my mouth. I knew I needed to get out of there.

I interviewed at the CementBloc and was hired. You would think this change of pace would have relieved my symptoms, but it didn't. They were still there and I really started to get concerned. Of course, being the hypochondriac that I am, I started scouring the internet for information on my symptoms. Without much surprise, I discovered that they could be associated with anything from mild indigestion to stomach cancer. I decided that the best thing to do would be to see a doctor.

Since I had just started a new job, I wasn't entitled to health insurance until the first day of the next full month after I started. This being the end of August, that meant that I would have to wait until October 1 to have anything done. For most of September, I lived on a mix of ineffective and expensive Prilosec and surprisingly effective Zantac. Every morning I would wake up and wait for the burning to start. I tried to get it out of my head and stop focusing on it, but I wasn't able to. Whether I thought about it or not, it always came and I was frightened.

Once October came, I made an appointment to get a physical. I figured that was the first step in getting this looked at. Now, anyone who knows me is well aware that doctors are not my favorite people. But in this case, no matter how scared I was, I knew that I needed to get it looked at. This wasn't something that was going to go away on its own and it needed professional attention.

I described all of these symptoms to my doctor and he told me that I should go see a GI specialist. He performed the regular physical and everything came out ok, so at least I had a solid base to work off of. He recommended a doctor to me and I made an appointment.

My first impressions of this guy were pretty good. He had an office on the Upper East Side and these iPad-like devices to take my registration information. The office seemed a little disorganized, but I was nervous and it was early in the morning, so I wasn't really focused on it. I described my symptoms to him and he told me that he felt like I had acid reflux. Because of the burning and tightness in my throat, he wanted to perform an endoscopy to check to make sure there was no damage in my esophagus. He also gave me some samples of a medication called AcipHex, which is in the same class of drugs as Prilosec.

While I was making the appointment, I noticed that the patient files were somewhat sloppy on their shelves. My exam room had also looked somewhat disorganized. Picture a college dorm that wasn't totally unpacked. Nothing indicated that they had either recently moved, or were preparing to move, so I could only deduce that this particular staff wasn't very motivated to maintain an orderly environment. I could've accepted that, but when I saw that the keyboards that the receptionists were typing on were loaded with crud, I knew I was done with this doctor. How can you not maintain a sanitary environment, especially in a place where you perform invasive procedures? No thanks.

I spent the next few days looking up new doctors to make appointments with. On the plus side, the AcipHex was working and I felt better. Two sites that I came across that were extremely helpful were healthgrades.com and vitals.com. I put in my address and chose my specialty and I was rewarded with a list of the highest-rated doctors in the area. I found one in Union Square and made an appointment.

When I went to see him, it was a world of difference. The office was clean as a whistle and was located within the Beth Israel Ambulatory Care Center. The doctor was incredibly nice and gave me a thorough exam. He told me that he felt I had acid reflux as well and recommended an endoscopy too. I made the appointment and went on Saturday.

The facility was pretty nice. My mom, dad and Tam came with me, and things went pretty smoothly. I was brought in and hooked up to all the monitors to check my vitals. The nurse asked me if I was nervous because my heart rate was 120 and my BP was 135/85. Nervous? About being sedated and having a camera shoved down my throat to see what was wrong with my insides? Nah...

The staff was really great though, and yes, I was terrified. I hadn't been knocked out for a procedure since I was 5 and had my tonsils taken out. It's also different when you're going for a diagnostic procedure instead of a curative one. Having your tonsils or wisdom teeth removed isn't as bad because you know what's wrong and you know what needs to be done to fix it. When something is wrong on the inside that you can't see, it's a lot more scary. I had no idea what I was going to face when I woke up. Was it going to be something routine, or something serious? Just because the doctor thought it was one thing didn't mean that's what it was. I tried to relax, but failed.

When I was brought into the procedure room, I just tried to think that it was almost over. I was laying on my side as they asked, and they put the mouth guard in to protect my teeth from any accidental damage. Just as I started to wonder when the anesthesia was going to kick in, I felt a little tingly in my chest and my vision flickered a little bit.

The next thing I knew, I was opening my eyes in the recovery room. All done! I was relieved that it was over, but terrified at what awaited me. The doctor was walking by on his way to see another patient when he saw that I was awake. As he passed by he said "Hey! Nothing bad. I'll be back in a few minutes". I felt VERY relieved.

When he did come back to explain, he told me that I had a small hiatal hernia, which is something I was likely born with. It can leave people more susceptible to acid reflux. I was also diagnosed with mild esophagitis, which is an irritation of the esophagus and moderate gastritis, which is irritation of the lining of the stomach. He took some biopsies to check for Celiac's disease and H. Pylori infection. I get those results on Thursday.

So while I was totally relieved that it wasn't something more serious, I was left feeling very vulnerable, physically and emotionally. Even though nothing major was wrong, there was an issue and I didn't know how or why it happened. I'm sure it has to do with the damage I did earlier in the year, but now the question turned to where do I go from here?

If the test results show H. Pylori, that's a simple course of antibiotics and I'm rid of this forever. If it's not that and it's a plain old acidic stomach, I face a lifetime of flare-ups and antacids. I don't know what to think yet, so there is definitely still some anxiety. I also don't know what to do if he tells me this is caused by stress. I am a very anxious and easily-stressed person and I have trouble relaxing. My job is stressful too, so I may have to figure a few things out.

So that's what I've been going through for the past few months. It hasn't been fun. I'm hoping that I'm on the other side of it now and things will only get better. I would really like to get back to my life. I want to go back to the gym, be able to eat good stuff and not worry about things. I guess we'll see how it goes on Thursday. I am very grateful though that it's nothing more serious. I know people that aren't that lucky, and I do count my blessings there, so don't think I haven't realized that. It's just kind of an unpleasant situation to deal with at such a young age. Ah well. It is what it is I guess.

Until next time.

704: The More Things Change...

2010-09-26T22:33:00.003-04:00

...The more they change. At least that's how it is with tech stuff. I was motivated to write this blog by the fact that I finally finished encoding all 4 seasons of Battlestar Galactica for my Apple TV.

As I got to the end of my BSG encoding, I started to think back to how things were when I started watching TV as a kid. Back then, if you wanted to watch a show again, you had to tape it...and I don't mean with a DVR. I mean with a video tape and a big old VCR. You had to go to the store, pick up a pack of tapes, make sure you left your cable box on the right channel, and set your VCR up properly to record. Otherwise you'd miss it and be forever stuck watching a re-run of a golf match instead of the Yankees victory parade. Not that that ever happened...DAD...=)

Once you were done, you could watch your show over and over again, until the tape wore out. At that point, you would have to dub it, which was a fairly complicated and irritating procedure that led to a finished product of noticeably diminished quality since you were making a copy. When you recorded the show initially, it never came out as good as it looked on the TV. So now, making a copy of a copy, it would look even worse. If you were a big fan of a show, you would also wind up with a closet full of bulky video tapes after each series was over, so storage became an issue too.

One big advance came with the advent of the video card on computers. You could connect your VCR or TV to your computer and save your mortal analog shows as eternal digital copies. Of course, this had to be done in real-time and the files were massive unless you compressed them using an AVI codec. The problem with that was, you likely started out with a less-than-stellar recording on your tape, and compressing it would make it even worse. There also wasn't an easy way to set up your computer so you could output the shows back to the TV, but it was a start.

Next up was the DVD, which was really a huge leap in terms of image quality and storage space. Now, rather than you fretting over whether or not your show recorded and how it looked, you could just pop over to the store and buy it. Even though it was substantially more expensive, the DVD featured crystal clear quality and even some special features that you wouldn't have seen anywhere else. Plus, unless they were scratched, they would never wear out and you could watch your shows over and over again. A DVD case is also about half the size of a VHS tape, so you could literally store twice as many. Oddly enough, your average DVD holds 4 episodes of an hour-long show, which is about what you could fit onto a videotape...so we didn't really gain much there.

That brings us up to the last couple of years. With a greater number of shows coming out on DVD, people started stocking up. Of course, this brought up the same storage issues as videotape and other concerns which may seem petty, but are really sort of legitimate. For instance, if you want to have a marathon of your favorite series, you could pop in a DVD to start it, but after a few episodes had gone by, you had to get up, change the disc, and start again.

Obviously it's not THAT hard to do, but for something that's supposed to be so technologically advanced, the DVD player still has its limits. It's like having to get up to change the channel on your TV. People got sick of that and came up with the remote control.

So what would be the answer to that problem? Well, enter Apple with a revolutionary new system that allowed people to access their media via the internet. Thanks to iTunes and the AppleTV, you could watch a large number of your shows online. No more videotapes, no more DVDs. Everything you wanted would be at the touch of a button. Of course, there was also a price tag to it. The question became, if you already owned the DVD of a series, would you be willing to pay again to download it? Based on the success Apple has had, the answer seems to be yes. There are those of us though like myself that refuse to pay double.

How do we manage then? Well, if you have a computer with a DVD drive, then you've got what you need. I use a couple of programs to convert my DVDs into digital files. The first is what's called a "ripper". It extracts the contents of the DVD onto your computer, so your processor can work more efficiently at the next step, which is the encoding. Much like the days when you hooked your VCR up to your computer, you need to encode the video to reduce its size. The encoder allows you to fiddle with the picture quality and file size to make it possible for you to store multiple series on your computer.

It's a little bit of a time-consuming process, but once you're done, you've got a hard drive full of your favorite shows and movies at your command. All you have to do is click and watch, and all you need for storage is a box that's about an inch high and 6 inches square. It's amazing how far we've come in about 15 very short years. We've virtually eliminated the need for physical storage in that time, which is pretty incredible since it took about 30 years from the time the TV was introduced until the first recording device was even commercially available.

And the future keeps getting more interesting. The new AppleTV has no storage unit at all, so now anything you want can either be rented via the web, or streamed from your computer. Obviously this applies to services like Netflix too. Even cooler is a new feature that's coming that lets you beam your videos from your iPad to your TV through the new AppleTV.

It's truly amazing what we can do when we put our minds to it. I remember as a kid being so upset when I missed an episode of my favorite show. I would think that it would be forever until I would be able to catch it in summer re-runs. Now, if I miss it, I can either call it up on my DVR or download it the next morning. No more waiting.

Even though it takes some of the excitement and mystery away of when you'd be able to catch it again, I think this new technology is awesome because it allows us to rediscover shows that we watched when we were younger and thought we'd never see again. I'm waiting for the day when we just have a chip implanted in our heads that links us to a database and we can call up anything and everything we want. At the rate things are going, I expect it will arrive around Christmas 2015. =)

Until next time.

703: Is Anyone Actually Right?

2010-09-19T22:14:00.003-04:00

Now that the primaries are coming to an end and we inch closer and closer to the midterm elections in November, the campaign ads are going full steam ahead. You've got the usual Democrat-Republican wars going on with a little Tea Party wrinkle thrown into the mix for some added spice. But the standard question still remains: Who's right?

Before we start, I will admit to being a very liberal Democrat (if you couldn't catch that from my past posts, I would go see a doctor...hehe), but I always try to be impartial when it comes to comparing and contrasting...so let's go!

Democrats
For years the Democrats complained that the Republicans ruined the economy. While there is a ton of evidence to support this, the Democrats are also at fault for not doing more to prevent it from happening. And if they didn't have the votes, they could have launched a PR campaign to let the country know what was going on. That's always been the problem with the Democrats though. They love to complain after the fact, but refuse to use the ammunition that's put in their hands. The only time they actually did it was when Obama was running and it worked. You would think that would tell them something.

So now the Democrats are in power and are presiding over a very slowly recovering economy and are making some decisions that haven't gone over all that well with the general public. This gives the Republicans ammunition, which they are never afraid to use. If the Dems want to keep their seats this coming cycle, they had better get out the press releases saying what they've accomplished and how it will positively affect the nation, because they should know that the Republicans will be doing exactly the opposite.

Republicans
Some Republicans see this as their chance to seize control of the government again and get the nation back on the right track. The problem is though, as it seems to be with the Republicans, they never quite clearly explain what that track is or where it leads to. They constantly criticize the Democrats for making the government bigger, but their solutions to hand things off to the states usually don't come with the funding required to do it.

One of the main campaign platforms I've heard is to keep the tax cut for the wealthy in place. Of course, there are varying opinions on this, but the general consensus seems to be that keeping it in place will likely hurt the nation in the long run. However, since the Republican party is supported by some very wealthy individuals, it would be in their best interest to make this an important part of their campaign.

The Tea Partiers also are rather interesting. There has already been some splintering within the GOP with traditional Republicans not throwing their support behind the Tea Party folks that beat out their candidates in the primaries. While I doubt if these disgruntled traditionalists will suddenly done the Democrat blue, I wonder if enough of them will get fed up that it might negatively impact the red folks.

Now, what I've just described is the so-called 10,000 foot view. It's very general and extremely basic. There are nuances on both sides that will affect this election. Here's my take on what I think will happen and how that's going to work.

First off, I think that unless the Democrats get their act together and start selling the moves that they've made these last 2 years as positives and get facts to back that up, they're going to be slaughtered. The majority of Americans don't realize that undoing the "legacy" of Bush II takes time, and even though Obama rode in on a wave of optimism and hope, reality quickly took hold. Even with a majority in both houses, it was extremely difficult to get anything through the legislature without significant compromise.

Republicans, still smarting from their pasting in the 2008 polls, had absolutely no interest in working with Democrats on anything, and I think that was partly the Democrats' fault. They came in and basically said "we're here now, we're going to do what we need to do to fix things". The Republicans didn't ever make any overtures towards cooperation, so it was very immature on both sides. We elect people to enact policies to make our lives better...not squabble over partisan nonsense.

And on the Republican side of things, I don't have any idea of what they're planning, but if they get back into power, they better move and they better move fast. People are fed up because they still have no jobs, their bank accounts are still being drained, and the nation hasn't recovered. But, instead of blaming Bush for getting us into this, the people are now blaming Obama for not getting us out of it.

So, while there is an opportunity here due to national stupidity, the Republicans better have a damn good plan that goes beyond extending the "rich man's" tax cut. While it's a nice thing to say, the bottom line is, less taxes means...well...less taxes. That impacts the amount of money the government collects every April 15th and makes it harder for it to do the things it needs to do without borrowing money and putting us further into debt.

The thing is, Bush's tax cuts were extended to all Americans and the high-income end is coming into debate because of the state of the economy. In my opinion, I'm sure these people worked very hard for their money and spent their entire lives trying to get to where they are now, but honestly, they're not the ones living paycheck to paycheck and wondering what they're going to have to sacrifice to buy their kids new clothes for school. That's not saying they don't have problems of their own, but when we still hover around a double-digit unemployment rate, the people that need the break aren't those at the top.

As a semi-frustrated Democrat, I'm kind of interested in seeing what would happen if the Republicans came back into power. What would they do? This is sort of their mess, so how would they clean it up? There's a great deal of anger out there, and they are masters at tapping into that, but beyond November, I don't know if they really have a plan. I don't know if the Democrats do either. This recession has gone on longer than most people would have ever predicted and there's no magic bullet to make it all better.

I really don't think a change of leadership is going to make a difference. What WILL most certainly make a difference though is everyone cooperating and trying to do what's best for the COUNTRY and not their parties. If people are going to talk about cooperation and bipartisanship, then let them put up or shut up, because honestly, it's annoying to continue to hear how everyone is willing to work with "the other side", but when it comes time to do it, all we hear are excuses and accusations. I don't know how people follow this stuff every day without going nuts. =)

So that's my little story for today. Whoever you plan on supporting in this year's election, make sure you get out and vote. For one of the biggest democracies in the world, we usually have pretty pathetic voter turnouts, even in major elections. How can we sell ourselves to the world as a leader in Democracy when we don't even practice what we preach? I think Lewis Black said it best when he was talking about how we would describe democracy to the people in Iraq..."It's great because you don't have to do it!"

Until next time.

702: The Great Mosque Debate

2010-09-09T20:00:00.003-04:00

First off before I weigh in on this, I will say that I did not lose anyone in the 9/11 attacks, nor was I in New York City at the time. I was upstate at Binghamton University for college and I the first time I came back was that Thanksgiving. I watched the devastation unfold on television and tried frantically to get in touch with my family, eventually reaching them and confirming their safety.

I am also not a huge fan of organized religion. I personally believe that all you need to do to have a good life is to be a kind and giving person and the rest will work out for itself.

Now that I've given my background, I will give you my opinion on the proposal to build a mosque a couple of blocks away from Ground Zero.

Personally, I don't think that there's anything wrong with the idea. Islam is a peaceful religion and there is absolutely no reason why we should forbid people from practicing their faith just because some radicals took it upon themselves to murder thousands of Americans. It contradicts the freedom that our country, and its lawmakers, claim to cherish.

If anything, the construction of the mosque would tell people that despite the attacks, we are still committed to the founding principles of our nation and that we don't make blanket judgments on an entire group of people based on the actions of a small sect. If we did that, we would be as short-sighted and ignorant as those that want to attack us.

I think the furor over this has been fueled by the fact that it's an election year. Everyone wants a piece of this debate to use for their own advantage. They want people to say "Hey, I know this guy didn't pay his taxes, was brought up on ethics charges, and cheated on his wife, but he opposes the mosque, so I'm gonna vote for him!" And you know that people are stupid enough to do that. Unfortunately, the right to vote didn't come with an IQ requirement.

The thing is, this wouldn't be the first place of worship built in the shadow of tragedy. A year after the Pentagon was attacked, and interfaith chapel was built in the building. It holds services for several religions, including Islam. Why was there no uprising over this? Plenty of people were killed at the Pentagon. It's right near the nation's capital for Christ's sake. But now, 9 years after, people are going nuts in NYC.

I can't pretend to imagine what it must have been like to have been there or to have lost someone there, but again, I think that if we deny these people the right to practice their faith because we are pissed off at a small, extremely radical, sect of their religion, that would be very wrong and we would be very ignorant.

Now, if it's determined that some of the funding is being provided by people who are loyal to the terrorist groups, then my opinion changes completely and I think they should be run out of town. But as of now, that's not the case.

Honestly, it's embarrassing to hear people being interviewed on the radio saying things like "Let them build it in the Middle East" or "It dishonors those who lost their lives". No it doesn't. It affirms the fact that this is a nation of people that value liberty and its privileges. Yes it's a little strange, but we will get over it. We have before.

Think of it this way. During WWII, the Germans & Japanese murdered millions of people in their respective campaigns to conquer parts of the world. When the war ended, there was a lot of animosity towards those groups of people. During the war we imprisoned legal Japanese-American citizens just for being of "enemy blood". But eventually we realized that it wasn't the entire group of people that was bad. It was a select few that wielded enormous power. And if you think this isn't a valid comparison, the Japanese bombed Pearl Harbor, which is US soil.

Fast forward to today, and all is forgiven. The Japanese make almost all of our electronics (SONY, Ricoh, JVC, Hitachi, Yamaha, Casio, Pioneer, Aiwa...etc), and the Germans make some of our most popular luxury cars. And yes, there are a TON of Jews driving around in Mercedes Benz, BMW and VW/Audi vehicles despite the fact that the companies' home country slaughtered millions of innocent people. Some of the companies even participated in the war effort on behalf of the Nazis.

My point is that we need to be a tolerant city and nation. New York is one of the most diverse cities in the world. Millions of people from dozens of countries interact and coexist here every day. If we forbid people from living their lives freely and openly, then we go against everything that we were told we were all about when we were in school. From what I remember, life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness didn't come with the caveat "unless we're freaked out by you". Guess we'll see what happens.

Until next time!

701: You Don't Always Need Someone To Beat You Up

2010-09-03T10:17:00.003-04:00

Sometimes your worst enemy is closer than you think. It's your own mind. For reasons I can't explain, I've always been very hard on myself. I hold myself up to a very high standard, and if I don't meet it, I get very upset. Over the years, the stress this caused me has led to symptoms like anxiety, depression, rapid heartbeat, hives, canker sores, and most recently, acid reflux.

I just can't relax about a lot of things. They stay on my mind and I analyze them obsessively. Lately a lot of it has to do with work, but I do it with my personal stuff too. I've been thinking a lot about it and I've realized that the nature of my job combined with the nature of my personality clashes at times and that's what causes my symptoms.

I guess I'm somewhat of a perfectionist and I like to have things go my way. When they don't, I get stressed out. My job as a project manager is to keep things on track and in order, but thanks to factors beyond my control, that doesn't always happen. When people don't do their jobs and it impacts me negatively, I get stressed out because that usually means that I have to stay late and cut into my much-needed personal time.

On top of that, I've had a few bosses that have specialized in making people feel bad about themselves. Since I naturally do that to myself, it makes it even worse when an outside influence gets in on it too. I didn't realize this until I left my last job. People were coming up to me telling me how good of a job I had done and were saying that they would really miss me. I even had senior management compliment me on my work. It made me feel good and bad at the same time.

I felt good because I realized that I had done a good job and I was appreciated. I felt bad because I had gone through 6 months of personal hell wondering if I really wasn't doing a good job or if I really belonged in my position. If you haven't ever felt that way, consider yourself lucky.

That's how I am though. Until someone validates what I'm doing, I always doubt myself. If I make a small mistake, I beat myself up and lose some confidence. Even if I tell myself that others make mistakes all the time, and I catch a lot of them, I shouldn't be making them. I should know how things work. I should be as good at my job as possible. I have to prove that I'm worth the salary I'm getting.

I know it's not a good way to be, and that it's all in my head. It's something that I have recently figured out after all of these years of feeling terrible and I am going to work to change. I pretty much have to, because I can't live with this type of constant stress anymore. It's very unpleasant.

You can't control how other people act or what they say, but you can control how you react to it. I need to realize that I know what I'm doing and I am good at what I do...otherwise nobody would hire me. I can apply the same thinking in my personal life. I have to kind of just roll with things. I can't keep focusing on trying to figure things out or understand everything. Things just happen sometimes with no explanation and you just have to deal with them.

Talking about it is the easy part...actually putting it into practice is going to be the real challenge. =)

Until next time.

700: Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch Changes

2010-08-31T11:00:00.002-04:00

So obviously it's been quite a while since I've posted. I know I always say that I want to do it more often, but then the thought of sitting in front of the computer and recounting everything that's happened over the past X amount of time just becomes too daunting and I wind up watching TV. Haha.

After getting a few nice comments on my blog though, I've decided to revive it. Welcome to post 700!

The biggest change over the last few months has been a new job. I know, I know...ANOTHER ONE? Well, I tried my best to make things work at my previous place, but it just wasn't the right fit. Without going into too much detail, the management of my department was severely flawed and things weren't addressed to my satisfaction. Of course, the day after I left, my boss was let go, but that didn't really change my feeling about things. I couldn't work at a place that made me so edgy that I had to take Prilosec to get through the days.

My new place seems good so far. The people are pretty cool and everyone seems to be pretty committed to the work. As of this writing, I haven't detected any backstabbing or drama, so that's a nice perk as well. Physically it's a much more open layout, so you don't feel trapped by your cube. I have about the same desk space, so that's nice. I am also back in the Chelsea area, which I really missed. I love being able to walk to Union Square at lunch and just browse around. They also opened up a Trader Joe's right near my office, so I can now pop out for a few minutes and get food for myself and the kittens. =)

In kitten news, I bought the guys a covered litter box. For some reason, Dax seems to love to kick the litter out onto the floor. He might think it's fun, but I am not a fan of sweeping up sand every morning. The new box is much deeper and I'm hoping that the cover and the swinging entrance door will keep him from having soccer practice with his poop material.

Here's what they got:

I also bought them collars with name tags, but of course they didn't like them. Goober took his off twice in the first day, then seemed to get used to it, but Dax kept trying to eat the tag and wound up getting the band caught in his mouth. I had to take them off and I figure I'll try it again when they're a little older, and hopefully a little calmer. =)

Here's a pic of the boys:

In non-kitten news, I decided to upgrade the storage space on my external HD. I have a 1 TB internal drive and a 500 GB external, but the external is more than half full. It holds all of my movies and the backups for a lot of my installers, so I wanted to make sure that I had a drive big enough to hold its own stuff and serve as a backup for the desktop. I wound up getting a 1.5 TB Western Digital drive from B&H for $85. Not bad. I remember when they first came out they were like $300.

Since I now had an extra 500 GB drive lying around, I bought a $30 enclosure for it and decided to try to enable the external drive support on my Apple TV. It's not build in, so of course I had to do a little fiddling. I installed a program that lets you connect things to the ATV's USB port and it seems to be working. I have to tweak it a little bit, but I think it's going to work out. That's really cool, because it means that my computer and ATV can now be completely independent. I also will have over 1 TB of storage on there, so I can finally begin ripping all of my BSG and Star Trek stuff. Hehehe.

In movie news, I saw Inception over the weekend and was not impressed. I loved the concept, but I thought that it was WAY too long. I literally fell asleep three times in the first hour and didn't miss anything. In addition to the poor writing, I thought that it was brought down by its star.

Leonardo DiCaprio is one of those actors that doesn't lose himself in the part. For example, when I was watching Ray, during the first few minutes I only saw Jamie Foxx. But as the movie went on, I really forgot it was him and thought I was actually watching Ray Charles. Leo doesn't do that in his movies. You're always very aware that it's him. It's too bad too, because that movie had a lot of potential.

And finally, once things settle down here a bit, I'm going to start going to the gym more. The last month or so I've been going when I can, but I would like to get back into a regular routine. My new company has a really nice discount on the membership plan, and I am going to take full advantage of it.

So that's all for now. Thanks to everyone for continuing to read!

Until next time!

699: Kittens and iPhone 4

2010-06-25T21:54:00.004-04:00

After much debate, I finally decided to take the plunge and get a pet. I had a parakeet when I was younger, and have wanted something else since then. I had focused on a dog for a little while, but with my schedule and apartment size, that wouldn't have been the best fit. Cats had always intrigued me, but I wasn't quite sure if I was really a cat person. I always heard they were kind of non-affectionate and standoffish. However, after some serious consideration and meeting quite a few nice cats over the years, I decided to go for it.

My first thought was to adopt a stray that Tam had told me was living in his yard. We got all the stuff together and were ready to bring her home, but Tam discovered that she had kittens of her own...so we really couldn't take her away from them, and I just don't have the space and resources to keep 4 cats, so we had to abandon that idea.

Keeping with the same idea of rescuing someone though, I looked into the ASPCA since I had always heard good things about them. Tam and I went over there this past Monday and went into the "kitten room", where I immediately fell in love with a 3-month old tabby kitten that I named Dax.

Of course, I had done my research on the adoption process and I had also seen that there was a "sale" of sorts going on. If you adopted one kitten, the fee was waived if you took a second one. Tam saw a 4-month old "cow cat" (white and gray spotted) that he really liked, so after a second or two of pondering, I decided to get Dax a friend. Meet Goober.

The two of them hit it off right away, and it's amazing how much they play and romp around. It's also amazing how much they worm their way into your heart so quickly. I thought Goober might have been sick because he wasn't eating the second day, and I was so worried that I wound up not eating dinner myself. After a suggestion from Tam that he might not like the dry food, I went and picked up some wet stuff and he loved it. He's been eating rather well since then. =)

These little guys have brought a light into my life that I really needed, and I am really looking forward to a very long and happy relationship with them. They have unique personalities and it's just really interesting to see how much animals really are similar to people. I'm up in New Paltz right now and I really do miss them. Tam is looking in on them each day while I'm away, so I know they're in good hands, but I can't wait to be back with them on Sunday. =)

Now the iPhone is another story. That's more of a love-hate relationship. After spending the entire day on June 14th trying to pre-order the fucking thing, I finally succeeded at around 8:30 PM. I guess that's when AT&T and Apple finally got their acts together and fixed their systems. I really don't understand how they could have underestimated the demand so badly. The iPhone is always a very hot item and a lot of people want it.

Anyway, after that was taken care of and a delivery snafu was resolved by me calling and giving FedEx a piece of my mind, the little fucker was finally mine as of yesterday. So far, I am pretty impressed. The camera is much improved and the flash works great. The forward-facing camera is a nice feature too. The speed has noticeably increased, as has the battery life. I have yet to try the FaceTime video chat feature, but I suspect that will be pretty awesome.

Overall I am pretty impressed. It's going to take some getting used to handling the new form factor, but I like it. It feels more balanced than the previous ones and I really like the fact that it lays flat on the table now. I DON'T like the fact that the camera lens is flush with the surface of the phone. Mine has a scratch on it already. It doesn't seem to be affecting the quality of the pictures, but it's irritating that it's that easy to damage.

I'm also excited about the book store. I don't read a lot, but that's mostly because it's hard to drag books around and open them up when you have 10-15 minutes of free time. With them being on the iPhone, I can sneak in some chapters here and there on the train or waiting for an appointment. Should be fun.

So overall I give it a thumbs up. More research is required of course, and I'm sure I will post an update at some point...but so far...so good!

That's all for now. I'll definitely try to update this again before another month and a half goes by. Work has been keeping me extremely busy!

Until next time =)

698: 4G Quandary

2010-05-12T11:55:00.003-04:00

So, it looks like Verizon may be getting an iPhone after all, and the clue comes from none other than AT&T. I was reading an article online that talks about how AT&T is debating moving up their upgrade eligibility for current iPhone customers. As it stands now, if you bought the iPhone 3GS (which I did), you wouldn't be allowed to upgrade to the upcoming 4G model until November. Normally this wouldn't really be a big issue, but with the rumor mill churning about Verizon possibly getting the iPhone in September, AT&T may be wringing its hands a bit.

If a Verizon iPhone is announced at this June's event, it will certainly make a rather large splash in the mobile world. After all, AT&T has been the only choice since the device first came out a few years ago, and its less-than-stellar service speaks for itself. Verizon, known for more reliable service, will undoubtedly use this to attempt to woo AT&T subscribers to take the plunge and switch carriers.

AT&T is likely considering this early upgrade to encourage existing customers to stay with them. After all, if Verizon will be releasing a similar device in September and you can get yours the day it comes out with AT&T, why wait another 3 months? And again, if Verizon is releasing their iPhone in September, and AT&T doesn't change its upgrade policy, customers will have to wait until November for to get their hands on it.

That gives VZ a two month window of opportunity to demonstrate any benefits it might offer over the AT&T version. An early upgrade would allow the techies to satisfy their need for instant gratification and would also allow AT&T to retain customers that might otherwise be lost to a new competitor. There are a few factors here that will influence my decision to stay with AT&T or switch: Price, Contract Terms, Service. We'll start with price.

In order to compete with AT&T, one would assume that the VZ iPhone will have a similar price point to the one that AT&T offers. It wouldn't make sense for the device to cost more than AT&T's, unless the data plan is cheaper. If it is, then VZ can justify a higher initial payout. I don't really see the two service plans differing by THAT much though, because they will both want to remain competitive, so as long as Verizon's price is similar to AT&T's, I would consider switching.

Next we move to contract terms. I've heard that Verizon's upgrade policy is much more stringent than AT&T's, but again, with the arrival of the iPhone on their network, they may make some tweaks. I wouldn't consider buying the VZ iPhone unless they let you upgrade annually when the new models come out. If I'm locked into whatever phone I have for 24 months, I'll say thanks but no. If they match AT&T's policies though, I would put a check mark in the switch box.

The biggest variable for me would be service. In general Verizon does have much more reliable service than AT&T, but that's based on current network usage. If Verizon releases the data-hungry iPhone on its network, there is a possibility that it would be plagued with the same issues that AT&T currently experiences, most notably dropped calls and slow load times. If that happens, there's really no point in making the move. The thing is, there's really no way to tell how that would play out until AFTER the phone is released.

Finally, if Verizon does bring FIOS into my area at some point in the near future (all of the neighborhoods around mine are already wired), I would be able to save even more money by dumping Time Warner and adding my cell, cable and internet onto one bill.

So basically if the terms that Verizon lays out match what AT&T currently offers and I can get the benefit of the glorious Verizon network, I will happily jump ship. That's a lot of "ifs" though, so we shall see how it all works out.

Until next time!

697: Oops

2010-05-11T11:06:00.004-04:00

It's been so busy lately that I haven't really gotten around to posting anything here! I guess to pick up on where I last left you, the AppleTV project finished up very nicely. It's working great and it's really nice to not have to have my computer on all the time to do something as simple as watching Family Guy. =)

On to other matters though. I had a rather annoying situation the other day that I feel the need to vent about. I'm sure I've posted it at least once or twice here before, but I don't have the utmost confidence or respect for my building's superintendent. He's rather unpleasant to deal with to say the least. He has about 4 teeth, slurs his speech and has a very odd accent that I can't determine the origin of. Any time I ask him to do something, he either has an excuse, or it takes him forever. He doesn't answer his phone on weekends, which is really irritating and I've had to call 311 numerous times because of no hot water and no reply from him.

For example, I told him that the water pressure in my toilet was a little low and it required that I flush a couple of times to make sure everything went down. He said that he would come take a look, which to his credit he did, but then he started bitching and moaning about how he'd have to buy a part and he didn't want to have to wait for the property management company to reimburse him. I gave up after that, but a couple of months later, I asked him again, and he magically went and bought the part. My toilet still doesn't work perfectly, but it's better I guess. I've noticed that the people upstairs seem to flush pretty often too, so I assume it's a building thing at this point.

Anyway, my latest issue came this past weekend. I got a new couch delivered on Saturday from Raymour and Flanigan, but the old one was still there, so I had to dispose of it since Raymour doesn't take away your old stuff. I posted it on eBay and Craigslist, but I didn't get any serious interest. My auctions ended Sunday morning, so before my mom and dad came over for Mother's Day brunch, I hauled the thing downstairs and left it on the curb.

The day was nice and relaxing, and I didn't really think anything of the couch being down there since I had already left a TV and AC and those had been taken away...presumably by interested passers-by. The shit started on Monday when I left for work.

I decided to sleep in a little bit since I had been to the gym the afternoon prior and was a little bit sore. I awoke feeling pretty refreshed and ready to face yet another week at the office. I usually walk down the stairs in the morning on my way to the bus, but since my legs were a tad sore and the elevator was on my floor, I hopped in. I was fiddling around with my iPhone when I noticed that there was a new piece of paper stuck to the wall of the elevator. I didn't think much of it at first, so I glanced up a little just to read the handwritten text. It read "you will pay the dept. of sanitation fine".

My first reaction was "Huh?". Obviously I had no clue what this was about, so I shifted my eyes further north to view the rest of the paper. There was a security camera picture printed on it with an image of the lobby and someone coming out of the elevator. It took me about half a second to put two and two together. Apparently my dear super had taken an image from the lobby camera and printed it out to warn people that they can't leave furniture on the curb. I was the lucky guinea pig.

I immediately took it down and went outside to find him, since he usually wanders around the front of the building in the morning. I asked him what this was all about and he told me that Friday is the day the garbage men come and pick up furniture and that for every day it sits there, he gets slapped with a $250 fine that he will pass on to me. I was like...WTF...so on Monday morning as I'm about to leave for work, I had to stop in my tracks and drag the couch BACK up to my apartment for it to sit there until Friday night. In the process I scraped up my arm and partially tore the back pocket of one of my pairs of jeans. Awesome.

On my way to work I got progressively more angry and decided to do a little sleuthing about garbage pickup. Apparently the super was right about leaving things downstairs before garbage day. The sanitation regulations say that you have to leave it downstairs the night before your regularly-scheduled pickup. In the case of my building, pickups are done Wednesday AND Saturday, but recycling is only done on Saturday. I guess this counts as recycling or something. Either way he was right. Good for him. However, the regulations mentioned NOTHING about a fine if it's left before then, and they had a whole list of things you can be fined for.

I was also really ticked off that he posted the fucking note IN THE ELEVATOR. What would have happened if...worst case scenario...I had dropped the couch on the curb, then went on vacation or a business trip for 3-4 days and hadn't taken the elevator downstairs? Would I have come back to $1,000 worth of fines? I understand he wanted to post an example of what not to do, but what the idiot should have done was leave it in the elevator, then leave one under my door or on my door so I would have seen it.

I also checked the printout and it said it was made at 1:13 in the afternoon on Sunday, so if that moron tries to pass the fines along to me, I have an arsenal to use against him. First, he clearly knew about it on Sunday, and knowing the garbage collection regulations, he should have let me know on Sunday so that I could have moved the couch to avoid a fine. Second, the garbage regulations are not posted ANYWHERE in the building, so nobody would be able to know when they can bring things down unless they ask him...which brings me to my final point. Even if I wanted to ask him, he doesn't pick up his phone on the weekend.

Right now he hasn't said anything, but if he does, he's in for a war. Who knew disposing of a 12 year old couch could be so annoying? =)

Until next time!

696: Soupin' Up the ATV

2010-03-06T21:46:00.003-05:00

No...I do not own an all-terrain vehicle...although I've always wanted to try riding one. This post will be about my attempt to upgrade another ATV...the Apple TV. Those that are not nerd-friendly will want to check out Youtube or even Xtube for a different viewing experience. If you've got the guts though...read on.

I purchased my Apple TV over a year ago. I was wowed by the prospect of watching the TV shows I had stored on my computer on my newly-purchased 46" TV. At the time, $200 didn't seem like all that much to pay for the ability to watch any episode of Family Guy that I wanted without having to get up and switch out the DVD every time I felt like changing seasons.

I know it seems like a stupid and even very lazy reason to want to buy a device, but if you think about it, it is quite a time saver and makes for a much more pleasurable entertainment experience. The thing also plays music and all of the playlists that you have on your computer, so it winds up being great for parties too. Add to that the ability to watch Youtube videos and use your iTunes account to buy movies and music, and it's a very handy gadget.

The only drawback to this technological wonder was that it came with a 40 GB hard drive. Now, as most of you know, that's not a ton of space when you're talking about media. Your average movie is 1-2 GB and the average song runs about 4 MB, so if you've got a sizable library, odds are you wouldn't be able to store all of it on the device. Fortunately though, Apple thought of this and came up with a solution: streaming. What is streaming? Well, it basically creates a link between your Apple TV and your computer via your router and lets you access your media remotely.

Say your computer is in the bedroom...which mine happens to be. You can link the Apple TV through the router to your iTunes library on your machine. This essentially bypasses the storage limits of the device by letting you access any content on your computer via your home network. I think this is what Apple originally had in mind, or they wouldn't have released the thing with such a woefully inadequate storage capacity. Even iPods come with larger hard drives.

I decided that I would store my music library (about 30 GB) on the Apple TV and I would stream the video. While this has largely been a successful plan, I've become increasingly bothered by the fact that if I am laying on the couch and want to flip on an episode of one of my favorite shows or a movie, I have to go to the bedroom, turn on the iMac (and the external HD for movies since I keep them there), open up iTunes, and then leave the computer on for no other purpose than to provide access to my videos. I see this as a colossal waste of electricity.

Another issue that comes up is the somewhat limited capacity of the internet to provide video wirelessly. When fast-forwarding or rewinding for example, I've frequently had to wait for the ATV to re-sync itself with my iMac because it's attempting to scroll faster than the data is available.

Now, if you know me at all, you know I can be rather picky and impatient with my gadgets, and you also know that I love to tinker, so I think you can see where this is going. A couple of weeks ago, I looked up whether or not it would be possible to increase the size of the hard drive on the Apple TV and what would be involved in doing so. Luckily, I was not the only person who had pondered this, and there was a wealth of information on what to do and how to do it. I basically uncovered 2 options.

The first was to connect up an external hard drive. This would involve hacking the software of the Apple TV, formatting an external drive, and hooking it up. While technically the easiest and least-invasive method, it was also the least reliable since any software updates from Apple would likely break the hack and I'd lose my connection to the drive. Option 1...no go.

Next up was replacing the internal HD with a larger-capacity unit. I'd have to copy the files on the existing 40 GB drive to the larger one, then install that one and pray that it worked. It seemed simple enough since I basically did the same thing with my iMac last year, but of course there was a wrinkle.

The hardware interface used in the Apple TV is known as PATA, or Parallel ATA. It's an older drive interface that has since given way to SATA, or Serial ATA. Why Apple chose to use an older interface when the industry had already switched to the newer one kind of confused me. I guess they didn't really think anyone would actually attempt to upgrade the drive, so they went with the lower-cost option. Dang.

Now, I was thinking of upgrading my paltry 40 GB drive to a beefier 500 or 640 GB model. My search for a PATA drive of this size came up empty. A little more digging led to my discovering that the largest PATA drive currently manufactured topped out at 320 GB. Considering I had at least 200 GB of movies and 30 GB of music I wanted to transfer to the Apple TV, it didn't really make sense to get this. It would be nearly full as soon as I transferred everything over, and I still have more I'd like to add. So even though the 320 would have been easier to install since it wouldn't require any additional hardware, I quickly dropped the idea.

The solution I found involved me buying an adapter card that would convert a SATA drive to a PATA interface. That would allow me to use the larger-capacity drive with the Apple TV and not have any compatibility issues. Since SATA drives are now cheaper than their PATA counterparts, I also saved a bit of money, even after buying the required adapter and cable.

Of course, the hard drive and interface cable arrived in short order. While important pieces of the puzzle, the converter board is sort of the linchpin. If I don't have that, I can't move my little project forward. It's coming from Hong Kong and should be here any day now, but you all know how much I love waiting for things! In the mean time, I needed to do something to make myself feel like I was working on this, so I copied the file system of the 40 GB drive to the 640 GB one.

Now the new drive sits collecting dust (figurative dust) while I wait for the adapter. From the posts that I've read, the only real issue here should be making sure that all of these new pieces fit securely inside the device. It takes a bit of wrangling, but several people have done it, so I'd like to think I will be able to too. Once I'm done, you can count on a post about my success...or failure. =)

That's all for now! Hope this wasn't too boring!

Until next time.

695: Movin' On Up

2010-02-14T11:02:00.003-05:00

So, after about 2 years at my current workplace, I've decided to move on. I made my choice for a couple of reasons. First, I feel like it's time. The traffic manager position is extremely useful as a learning tool, but after a while, there's only so much more you can absorb. Even if I were promoted to senior traffic manager this July, I would still have the same role, just a different title and slightly higher pay. That's not really a reason to stay.

Another reason that I've chosen to move on is that I'm just not as happy as I should be with the way things are going at the office. I'm not completely miserable, but there have been a lot of changes that I don't agree with and make my daily grind that much more...grinding.

A third reason would be money. With what I currently make, I'm pretty much breaking even every month. Between rent, bills and my social life, I'm not really able to save a ton of money. I mean yea, I have my 401k contributions and all, but I'd like to be in a position where if I wanted to buy something like a Blu Ray player or take a trip for the weekend, I wouldn't have to think about what I need to cut out for the next couple of weeks to make up for it. Couple that with the fact that everything goes up price-wise every year, and I determined that I needed a major jump in salary to keep on top of things.

Thankfully, I found a position that seems to work. The interview process went really quickly....after going really slowly. I applied for a job and was initially contacted by a recruiter at the end of last year. She reviewed a position with me, which wasn't necessarily one that I was qualified for, or even interested in. It was actually the wrong position, but I was so frustrated that I had wasted my time. I didn't expect to hear from them again and went about my business.

A couple of weeks ago I got another call from the recruiter saying that she had a new position open that she thought I would be qualified for. We talked for a few minutes about it, and I felt like I could do it. It was a digital project manager role, which is like a super traffic manager without job folders. Right up my alley. I've been wanting to build on my current role and advance myself, and this seemed like a perfect opportunity to do so.

She set up an interview for me and I went. I apparently impressed the woman who would be my future boss, because I got a call back the next day saying that they really liked me and wanted me to come in for another interview. I was ecstatic. I hadn't really had any interviews in a long time and it was nice to know that I could still impress people.

I went for the next one, and even though there was a bit of a scheduling mix-up, I still met with someone, even though it wasn't the person I was initially supposed to speak with. Things went well there too since I was called back in the next day for a final interview with the account team. We spoke for about 45 minutes and the very next day I received a call offering me the position at the high range of the salary scale that I requested.

Not being a moron, I accepted the position as soon as I had my offer letter in my hand and I walked into HR and resigned. It was an interesting feeling. Obviously the chance to make a lot more money and put myself on a better career path is extremely exciting. But part of me was very sad to put in my 2 weeks notice because I've become very comfortable at my current place and I've made a lot of friends.

All of that being said though, you can't stay at a job just because you like some of the people. Obviously it helps not to work with dickheads, but I can't hold myself back for social reasons. I can still see them outside of work, and I know that if a better opportunity came up for one of them to move on, they would take it too. I'm sure some of them are even looking themselves.

The real bummer is going to be when I have to tell the director of operations. She's such a sweet lady and her and my old boss who now works at one of our other offices have done so much for me. I feel kind of like I'm betraying her by leaving, but I have to do what's best for me and my career. I know she'll understand that, and it's been killing me that she was out all week, but this is just something that I need to do.

I didn't give myself a break between companies either. My last day at my current place is the 23rd and my first day at the new place is the 24th. I thought it was good for a few reasons. First, I keep the paychecks coming. Any time I spend not working is lost income. Second, I get health insurance starting in March if I start the last week of February. If I started the first week of March, I wouldn't be eligible until April 1, and I can't go a month without insurance. Finally, I think it's just better mentally to keep going. If I have a couple of days off I'm just going to sit home and think about the new job. I might as well just dive right in.

So I finally feel like I'm on the right track. I'm going to what I hope is a better place for me and I'm making a lot more money. I'm finally going to be able to start saving some more and work towards buying my own apartment. Along the way I'm going to upgrade my current one a bit too. I'm excited and a little nervous because I've never really been in this position in life before.

Lately I've started to feel like I should be further along than where I am, and thanks to my hard work at my soon-to-be former job and this new one, I am able to make that a reality.

That's all for now!

Until next time.

694: iPad

2010-01-29T20:18:00.004-05:00

So after months and months of speculation and waiting...it's finally here. Apple's newest creation...the iPad. I guess the first thing I noticed was that it pretty much looked exactly the way everyone thought it would...like a giant iPhone. It even has the same "home" button. It's a very attractive package, that's for sure. One thing I like most is that it looks like the 1st gen iPhone with the metal back and the black front. I am not a huge fan of the 3G/3GS styling, so to see Apple returning to the old iPhone and current iMac design was nice. I'm not entirely enamored with the name...but it does fit the product and Apple's existing naming conventions.

I watched the demo video on Apple's website, and it sure does look impressive. The screen is beautiful, the apps look amazing, the web is great (save for one rather large issue that I'll get into later), and the new bookstore app is great. All in all, I think Apple did a very good job. The prices are actually fairly reasonable too if you think about what you're getting. Since it's an e-reader, you can immediately compare it to the Kindle, which retails for about $250. This device basically gives you that functionality in a much more vivid package, plus all the other goodies that come with the iPhone/iPod touch. It even has WiFi-only and WiFi/3G versions for those that don't want to pay for yet another data plan. Prices are adjusted accordingly, but for what you get in a very attractive package, it ain't bad.

All this being said, there are some fairly major drawbacks that I feel that I do need to mention. The first, and possibly most critical one is the lack of Flash support. Yes, it does support Adobe's PDFs and some other formats, but if the iPad is positioned as a web browser and gaming device, not having Flash really limits its utility. A rather large majority of websites that offer streaming video content do so via Flash and a ton of games on the web are based on that standard as well. Being able to go to ESPN.com for example but not being able to watch the highlights will be rather frustrating I suspect.

Next up is the lack of multitasking. Much like it's smaller cousins the iPod Touch and iPhone, the big bad iPad's brain apparently isn't smart enough to run more than one program at the same time. This means that if you're enjoying a rousing game of Scrabble, but want to check your email, you must first exit the game and then open up your mail. When you're ready to go back to your board, you have to close out of your mail and re-activate the game. I've always found that a bit irritating on the iPhone, and I kind of expected that something more powerful would have a more advanced OS.

A slightly smaller concern is the hard drive space. Again, if Apple is positioning this new gem as a multimedia device, I think that it would need larger than 16, 32 or 64 GB hard drives. You can find these sizes in iPods, which are considerably "less advanced" than the iPad. If I'm taking this with me on a long flight and I want to take along my favorite books, movies and songs, I'm going to have to pick and choose just like I do with my 16 GB iPhone. I'm sure the next iteration of the iPad will have larger HDs. That's just the way the industry works.

I'm also curious as to just how accurate the keyboard is going to be. Something tells me that you're not going to be able to type on it as fast as you would a physical keyboard...but then again I've gotten some pretty good speed on my iPhone, so who knows. I really love the dock idea that they came up with though. That's going to make a big difference.

Finally, I'm kind of surprised Apple didn't stick an SD card reader in somewhere. That would be a perfect way to load pictures right into the Pad. Maybe on the next one?

Overall I think this is a good little product that is in line with Apple's recent innovations. It elevates the functions of the iPod Touch and iPhone while adding in some cool features of its own. I think it is a teeny bit confused in terms of positioning though, because while it is an awesome way to integrate all of your media into one stylish design, I thought Apple would take it one step further and create a kind of touchscreen laptop with a more full-fledged operating system. But hey...I guess they have to leave room for something in the future right?

I feel you asking "So Jacob...would you buy it?" My answer would be...probably. If I had $500 to throw around, this would be a cool little toy to have on the train in the morning or in a coffee shop. Plus it reminds me of Star Trek's PADDs, so it appeals to the giant nerd in me. Maybe in a couple years when the price comes down and the features go up. =)

That's all for now folks!

Until next time.

693: 2010

2010-01-24T09:49:00.002-05:00

So it's been more than a month since I posted anything here. To be honest, I didn't really know what to say. A lot of the things that have been going on in my life are either really personal or work-related, and I just didn't know if it was appropriate to spill the details of it all here for the world to see. I'll give you some broad strokes though.

For work, it's basically been non-stop. We had a product launch that kicked up as soon as we got back from our Christmas break and it just started to settle down last week. I worked 80 hours 2 weeks ago, 50 last week and 47 this week...so it's been an adventure to say the least. I did learn a lot, both about what goes into a launch and what my limits are as a human being.

The thing I found most amazing was that even though we were all working 15-20 hour shifts, nobody really cracked. There weren't any shouting matches in the hallway. Nobody walked out in a huff. Everything got done and was done pretty well given the circumstances. That being said, I don't want to go through something like that again for a while if I don't have to. =)

In terms of my personal life, it's kind of just been more of the same. I try to look for people, but I don't really come up with anyone that I think is suited well enough for me to date. It's nice to have people flirt with you, but if they're not someone you'd consider dating it's pointless.

I found one person that I really care for and would be very happy with, but that is an extremely complicated situation. I don't know if it will work out for me, or wind up hurting me, but there's only one way to find out. Wait and see. On the up-side, everything that I've gone through at the end of last year and so far this one has taught me patience...and that's a very valuable.

Sometimes I kind of take a step back and examine things and I feel like I have grown up a lot in the last year or two. Obviously that's a good thing, but it also makes me feel like I'm getting old. I'll be 28 this year, and that's dangerously close to the big 3-0. While that number isn't a huge cause for concern, I kind of feel like I need to have certain things settled before it comes around. I guess it's just a psychological game.

The thing is, for myself, when I tell people I'm 27, it feels like I'm old. Obviously I've been used to telling people that I'm 20-something for years now, but as I run out of numbers, I feel like time is moving along very quickly. But, the strange thing is, even though I feel old when I tell people my age, if I see on the news that someone who was 27 or 28 was killed or injured or something, I think "Wow they were pretty young". I guess it all depends on your perspective.

Since this is my first entry of the year, I bet you're wondering if I made any resolutions. The answer is no. I used to think they were goals to accomplish, but now I just kind of think...I know what I need to do. Just do it. Obviously I'm going to continue to go to the gym and make every effort to keep in shape. I'm also going to try to keep things going with my job and find a relationship that makes me happy. If I do all of that, great. If I miss a few, there's no timetable for success. It'll happen when it happens.

So there you have it. In terms of upcoming exciting things, I am eagerly awaiting the next episode of Caprica, which will air this coming Friday, and the release of the combined Razor/The Plan soundtrack, which will be released February 23. Yay!

Until next time.

692: Let It Snow!

2009-12-19T20:40:00.003-05:00

There's something about snow that makes everything right with the world. =)

691: What the fuck?

2009-12-05T16:37:00.002-05:00

This has been a very frustrating week. It seems like everyone has wanted something from me and I haven't had 2 seconds to myself.

At work, some people surprise me with their level of stupidity. I just don't understand how people can't perform basic tasks without someone holding their hand. I waste so much time doing shit that I shouldn't have to. That winds up taking time away from the things I SHOULD be doing, and when that stuff doesn't get done...who gets in trouble? Me!

My friends have also really gotten on my nerves. A very close friend of mine lied to me today to trick me into coming into the city to hang out with him and my other friend. I had told BOTH of them earlier in the week that I really needed today to relax and calm down because I had a very bad week at work. So this morning I wake up to a text telling me that he won the lottery and that I should come meet up with him in the city.

Normally I'd just say it was bullshit, but this friend has never lied to me before, so I figured it might actually be true. I rushed through my gym routine and made it into the city by 2:30, only to discover when I got there, that the winning "ticket" was a bank teller slip that had an error on it.

So, I blew a decent part of my day off because of a lie, and now I'm home and pissed off before I have to go to my other friend's tree trimming party tonight.

I don't know what the hell is wrong with people lately...

690: There's a Fine, Fine Line

2009-11-15T11:26:00.003-05:00

There's a fine, fine line between a lover and a friend;
There's a fine, fine line between reality and pretend;
And you never know 'til you reach the top if it was worth the uphill climb.

There's a fine, fine line between together and not
And there's a fine, fine line between what you wanted and what you got.
You gotta go after the things you want while you're still in your prime...

So, I've been debating whether or not to write this for a couple of days now, and I just felt like I should get it down on paper. Yes, I know, the internet isn't paper...but you know what I mean.

The song lyrics above are of course from Avenue Q, and have been rolling around in my head since Friday night, when I did reach the top of the climb. Unfortunately for me though, those fine, fine lines crossed into disappointment. Reality wiped out anything pretend, and what I wanted was not at all what I got. But like the song also says, I did go after what I wanted. He just didn't want me.

I've been on both sides of that coin, and I do have to say, it's never easy either way. Nobody likes to hear that they're not what the other person is looking for, and nobody likes to have to tell someone the same. I was sort of lucky this time, as my friend volunteered to find out for me, so I didn't have to have it said to my face, but that didn't make it any less crummy to hear.

One of the reasons I've debated writing about this is that you never know who reads your blog. I've been asking myself things like: Do I want to write this for all to see? Do I want to take the risk that you'll read it? Since I did decide to post this, my answer is clearly yes. It's just something I needed to do.

For those of you that know me, you're all well aware that I am not usually one to keep my feelings hidden. Over the years I've kind of felt like that wasn't one of my better traits, but as I progress in life, I've started to take a little more pride in it. I've seen too many people that have had things they needed to get off their chests, but for whatever reason, they weren't able to, so they sat and stewed. I used to do that too, but it just wasn't working for me. I may not always be direct about it, but at the end of the day, you'll know how I feel.

People say that I am easy to read and I kind of like that. I don't put on a happy face if I'm feeling like crap. If I'm angry or upset, you'll know. And if I like someone, I've been told that I'm rather obvious. What's the point in playing games and hiding it? I've never been a fan of that.

My friends have asked if I'm ok...and the answer is of course...yes and no. Yes, I am ok because it wasn't like we were dating and broke up. It never got to that point. Yes, I am ok because I do have great friends who are supportive and caring. And yes, I am ok because I have to be. I can't let something as simple as "I don't feel the same way" bring the roof down over my head.

All that being said though, no, I am not ok because it does sting to hear that you're not someone's cup of tea. No, I am not ok because it means I have to keep looking. And no, I am not ok because looking for Mr. Right is a long and arduous process that always starts from square one, but that's life isn't it?

I did kind of hope this would work out because he was (and is) a great guy. He's smart, funny, cute and just a teeny bit dorky. Perfect for me. He's easily the nicest guy I've met this year, so it was a simple decision to see if he was interested.

Of course, I don't hold it against him that he wasn't. I can't. The song also says if someone doesn't love you back it isn't such a crime. Granted the term "love" doesn't even come close to applying here, but the spirit of the lyric is understood. You can't be mad at someone for how they feel. It's just silly. Unfortunately that's life. People have their own thoughts and emotions just like I do. Putting yourself out there and seeing if those match up is the important part.

So, now that I know the answer is unfortunately "no", I asked myself if it was indeed worth the uphill climb? My answer...yes it was. I would rather try and not succeed than not try at all. I've been left with the "what if" question too many times, so I would always prefer to have an answer if I can. Every experience teaches you something about yourself and other people, and that knowledge can be applied to future situations.

Thanks for taking the time to indulge me on this post. It always makes me feel better to write it out. Now, I think I'm going to take a day just for me, head to the mall and do some clothes shopping.

Until next time!

689: Wow

2009-11-05T22:29:00.002-05:00

This little image from my iPhone says it all. The Yankees won their 27th championship last night and I have to say, I was a little emotional. I realize that it's pretty stupid to get so wrapped up in a sports team that doesn't even know that I'm alive, but hey, you can't fight who you are or how you feel, so I figured I might as well just go with it. =)

Before the game, I had made up my mind that I wouldn't watch the beginning of it. It would just be too stressful. Plus, I had promised my friend Tai that I would help him finish picking up and setting up the furniture for his sister's room in their new apartment. Avoiding the game and helping my friend seemed to go hand in hand, so off to IKEA we went.

By the time we got back, Game 6 of the World Series was already underway. I checked the score after about an hour and saw that it was 2-0 Yankees. A good start, but they would need more. A 2-run lead evaporates with a couple of bad pitches. A little while later, I was deeply involved in putting together the massive wardrobe we had picked up when I got a text. Marshal had updated me, telling me that the Yankees were up 4-1 and Hideki Matsui had driven in all 4 runs.

I started to relax a bit since they didn't seem to have much trouble scoring off Pedro Martinez and Andy Pettitte was keeping the Phillies from having a big inning. As I was installing the doors on the wardrobe, my dad called to tell me that the Yankees were now ahead 7-1 in the 6th inning. So much for avoiding the game!

After I finished the wardrobe, which took a good couple of hours, Tai, Dennis and I went to the diner near my apartment for a very late dinner. We walked in, and guess what was on...the game! At this point I kind of wanted to watch since it was getting into the later innings and I really wanted to see the end. When we sat down, I noticed that it was 7-3 in the bottom of the 7th. That meant that it was almost time for Mariano Rivera.

After watching Damaso Marte strike out the first batter he faced in the top of the 8th, I saw Joe Girardi sprint out to the pitching mound and take the ball. Mariano came in and got the final 2 outs, setting up the moment that every Yankees fan had been waiting for since 2000.

Matt Stairs was first up. He hit a couple of really hard shots, both foul, then lined out to Derek Jeter. One down. Next up was Carlos Ruiz, who worked a walk. Uh oh. The 4-run lead was starting to look a little precarious all of a sudden. At this point, the waiter decided to bring our check. Tai treated me to dinner as a thank-you for my help. He asked if we were ready to go, and I said "Nope. I'm watching this. Sit back down, we'll leave when it's over."

At this point my heart was pounding and I was having trouble sitting still. Next up was Jimmy Rollins, the Phillie that had boldly predicted that his team would win in 5 games before the series started. He hit a long drive to right field, but Nick Swisher gloved it. Two down.

The final out is always the most nerve-wracking for a fan, so I can't even imagine how it must feel for the teams that are on the field. One is trying desperately to keep its season alive, and the other is looking to slam the door. Shane Victorino strolled up to the plate. He worked the count to 2-2 and fouled off 4 pitches. Rivera's next pitch was a ball, running the count full to 3-2.

With two outs, that meant the runner on second (Ruiz had stolen the base earlier) would be going on contact. If Victorino got a hit, that would mean a run, cutting the lead to 7-4 with the dangerous part of the Philadelphia lineup waiting in the wings. On the 10th pitch of the at-bat, Victorino hit a harmless ground ball to second base, where Robinson Cano fielded it and threw to Mark Teixeira at first for the final out.

As the ball bounced towards Cano, the only thing I could manage to say was "They did it" in a very quiet voice. A far cry from my jumping up and down in 1998 while screaming the very same phrase, this reaction seemed more appropriate. After weeks of hard-fought, grueling games that likely exhausted the fans as much as the players, the Yankees rewarded their home town with a 27th championship. I couldn't have been happier or more relieved. I was so excited that my hands were actually shaking as I texted one of my friends on the way home.

As I wrote in one of my previous entries, when you grow up watching nothing but championship baseball, you become a bit spoiled by it. Only now as I've gotten older and witnessed other teams succeed at the Yankees' expense do I realize how hard it really is for a team to be successful year after year. I've learned to appreciate it more, and that's why this World Series meant the most to me as a fan. Here's hoping it won't be the last.

Only 3 more months until pitchers and catchers report for Spring Training for 2010! Hehe.

Until next time!

688: They Have A Plan

2009-11-01T11:32:00.003-05:00

On Friday, I gathered together the usual suspects for BSG night. Les, Nick, On, Sophie and Tai came over, I made some pizzas, we had some booze and popped in the latest (and most likely final) entry into the Battlestar Galactica saga...The Plan. This straight-to-DVD movie was billed as a window into the Cylon side of the story that fans had followed for 4 seasons. I had read a little bit about it beforehand, and I knew it was going to include some recycled footage, so I was prepared for something that was satisfying, but not revolutionary. That's pretty much what I got.

I felt that overall, the story was well-done. There was plenty of new material to go along with the archive footage from the series, and basically the theme was "ohhh...so that's how that happened". You get to see that the Cylons were not perfect or all-powerful, and that in some ways, they were even more screwed up than the humans that created them. I was also impressed with how they managed to integrate this story into the series pretty seamlessly.

One of the most spectacular parts of the movie was the opening. It started out with the Universal Logo coming around a planet, as was the case in every BSG release to date, but this one had a bit of a twist. The planet was not Earth...it was Caprica. Nice touch.

After that, we cut to The Colony, which is the Cylon base of operations. They are planning the attack, and you see in full detail the massive size of the fleet that's going to be used in the upcoming holocaust. The ships jump to the 12 colonies and begin their assault.

The visual effects team did an outstanding job here. There are a few things that we learn...one of them being that Cylon Basestars can rotate on their axes to create a Y-shape for entry into an atmosphere. A fun fact about our Toaster friends. We also see in a little more detail how the Colonial ships were disabled with a single command.

During the attacks, we finally get to see a number of the planets that were previously only mentioned in the series. Canceron is seen from orbit and the surfaces of Picon, Leonis, Virgon, Libran and Gemenon are shown. Adding in Caprica, Scorpia and Tauron, which we had already seen before, that brings the total number of colonies seen to 9. The only ones we are now missing are: Aquaria, Sagittaron and Aerilon. Since this was likely the last time we will visit the BSG universe, those will likely remain a mystery.

The only thing I would have liked to have seen more of was the space battle...or lack thereof. We got to see a lot of nuclear bombs here, but in the other BSG movie Razor, we got to see things such as the attack on the Scorpia Fleet Shipyards in pretty nice detail. It makes a brief cameo here as well, but only as a flyby to the bombing of Scorpia itself. There wasn't a single shot fired in space...Colonial or Cylon in The Plan. I guess it would kind of be overkill to show the Cylons firing at ships that were totally incapable of defending themselves...but I'm always up for explosions. =)

Another major plus in this movie was the music. Bear McCreary outdid himself again. There is a track that plays during the attack that's appropriately entitled "Apocalypse". It's essentially the theme to the destruction of humanity, and it's an interesting one. It's not your typical sci-fi music...but then again...Bear's BSG scores have never been typical.

Apocalypse begins as background music in a strip club scene. It's this very heavy guitar piece that you don't really think anything about at first. As the story progresses though, the music comes to the foreground and really starts to kick up. By the time the attack begins, the music is also in full force. It's reminiscent of the guitar section of "All Along The Watchtower", but has a different feel.

The remainder of the music is an extension of the themes from the show, which would make sense seeing as this movie was based in the time period that spanned the first couple of seasons of the series. There was one last "easter egg" though that I was not expecting.

After the movie wrapped up, the end credits came on. Normally I would just turn off the movie, but I like to listen to the end credits occasionally to see if there's anything extra. I'm glad I did this time.

Since the movie took place during the series, there was no actual conclusion. I mean yeah it had an ending, but it was meant to be in the context of the rest of the series. I think we were just expected to say "Ah...got it" and add the events that we witnessed to our mental timelines. That's all well and good, but in terms of BSG productions in the real world, this was likely the last one, and I'm glad Bear took that into account when he wrote the end credits.

They begin with the Gayatri Mantra, which was part of the opening credits for every episode of the series. It's a prayer to the Hindu Sun God. Except this time, instead of having music behind it, it's just a solo...and it's amazingly haunting. The vocals build into a bit of a choir, and then the guitar jumps in, so you're essentially hearing the opening credit chant with Apocalypse playing behind it. Pretty cool. At the very end of the track, the music all drops out and we're left with one final vocal...a simple "Om", that fades to silence.

Moreso than the movie itself, which I really did enjoy (everyone else thought it was kinda sucky), I felt that the music here really put a bow on the series, even more so than his score for the finale. As Bear McCreary put it in his blog, the end credits were pretty much a Season 1 idea with a Season 4 flare. He hit it right on the head. It brought everything full circle and closed out a spectacular show with an even more spectacular piece of music. What was even more amazing is that Apocalypse was composed of TWO notes. That's it. I can't wait for this soundtrack to come out!

If you're scratching your head wondering what the hell I'm talking about with all of this music...below are some links I think you'll find useful:

The Mantra in the series opening credits
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yd4_G0Uky5U&feature=related

A compilation video that I found that pretty much shows everything I was talking about backed by the end credits
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrddRK7_Yec

Just the end credits
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDAedoUZPNE

So Say We All

Until next time!

687: The Thrill of Victory

2009-10-26T21:30:00.002-04:00

There are very few things in life that provide the same experience as watching your favorite sports team compete for a championship. The ups, downs twists and turns evoke feelings that range from exhilarating to gut-wrenching. Which sport it is varies by person, but for me it has always been, and likely always will be baseball. My team is the Yankees.

My journey as a baseball fan began on October 26, 1996. My brother and I were in the bedroom playing our Nintendo. Suddenly, mom and dad demanded that we pause whatever game we were playing and come into the living room. As a kid who was firmly entrenched in his game, I was of course loathe to leave it even for a minute, but when mom and dad call, you can't exactly say no....even if you are 14.

When I asked why we were summoned, my mom simply said "because this is important". I turned my head towards the TV and saw a baseball game on. At the time, it seemed like any other game...after all...it was always on in our house. I had never really paid attention to it before, so I had no idea what I was witnessing. All I remember is my mom and dad jumping up and down like kids and hugging my me and my brother. It was only afterwards that I learned what had happened...the Yankees had just won the World Series.

After doing some research I had discovered that the team hadn't won anything since 1978...their longest drought in team history...so this was a big one. And to do it against the Atlanta Braves, the defending champions, after falling behind 2 games to 0, wow. I was hooked.

Of course, when you're a kid, you expect everything to turn out the way you want it to. The following season brought another playoff appearance, but a painfully early exit thanks to some timely hitting by the Cleveland Indians. I was crushed. My first full season as a fan had ended in disappointment. I wondered if it was even worth watching the following season...which would be 1998. Needless to say, I'm kind of glad I stuck around.

1998 brought 125 wins, a perfect game by David Wells, a World Series sweep and one of the best seasons in the history of the game. 1999 featured another fine performance that included a sweep of the Braves in the World Series and another perfect game...this one by David Cone. I was there. 2000 brought with it a semi-lousy regular season of 87 wins, but a division title nonetheless and a victory in the October Classic over the crosstown rival Mets. Man...a kid could get used to this.

So, when 2001 came around and the Yankees were headed for October (albeit with heavy hearts due to 9/11), I expected nothing less than a 5th title in 6 years and 4 in a row. They damn near hit the mark. Unfortunately, it wasn't meant to be. Despite all the heroics, the Arizona Diamondbacks, in only their 4th season as a franchise, dethroned the Yankees as the reigning champions in shocking fashion...in the bottom of the 9th against the greatest closer in the game...on a bloop hit over Derek Jeter's head. I was crushed.

The wheels came a little loose after that. The Yankees lost in 2002 in the first round to the Anaheim Angels, but made it back to the World Series in 2003 thanks to a timely homerun in Game 7 of the ALCS by Aaron Boone off Boston's Tim Wakefield. Unfortunately, the Florida Marlins stood in their way and took the title in 6 games. Depressing, but not completely unexpected since the Yankees were running on fumes at that point.

2004 was an interesting year. It was another Yankees-Red Sox battle for the pennant. The Yankees took the first 3 games in convincing fashion, including a blowout in the third game. Now, the Yankees are known for making history. It's usually positive, but in this case, the boys from the Bronx conjured up a new meaning for the word "bombers". They managed to lose the next 4 games, allowing Boston to complete a comeback that had never been seen in the game of baseball before in 100+ years. The "Sawx" proceeded to win it all for the first time since 1918, effectively ending the "Curse of the Bambino" and stomping on the hearts of Yankees fans everywhere.

If the wheels loosened in 2002, they completely well fell off after 2004. My beloved team embarked on a path of mediocrity that dulled my interest in the game to the point of considering once again whether or not it was worth even devoting my time and energy to being a fan anymore. 2005-2007 all brought first-round exits and spectacular offensive and pitching failures, which culminated in manager Joe Torre not being offered the opportunity to return in 2008.

Filled with the hope and promise of a new manager and a new system, 2008 ended with a resounding thud. 89 wins, a third place finish, and the first time a Yankees team hadn't made the playoffs since 1995. Welcome to New York Joe Girardi.

Thankfully though, that was the last straw. The front office revamped the team, getting rid of dead weight like Jason Giambi and bringing in CC Sabathia, AJ Burnett and Mark Teixeira. They promised things would be different in 2009, and I wanted to believe them. I really did. I was tired of getting my hopes up only to be disappointed year after year. I started to understand how those Braves fans felt, going to the playoffs 14 years in a row and only winning 1 championship. I even started to sympathize with the Cubs fans and their "wait till next year" mantra.

Now, granted it had only been 6 years since the Yankees' last World Series appearance, and they were only a year removed from their last division title, so it's not like they weren't getting there. They just weren't getting very far. A Pirates fan would call me a spoiled brat...and they might be right. In this city, you become accustomed to your team spending the money and doing the things it needs to win. You invest yourself in the outcome of the games and the season. You also stick with them through the tough years hoping things will improve. That's what being a fan is all about.

2009 got off to a slow start, but from mid-May onwards, I started to let my guard down a bit. I started to feel that fire within me again to go to the Stadium and watch a couple of games. I got excited when they won and a little sad when they lost. As the wins piled up, I started to wonder if this year was going to be different...if they really had a shot at it. By the end of the season, which featured 103 wins and a division title, I was hooked. I felt like I did back in the late 90's when I lived and died by the score of the game. Obviously I'm a bit older and wiser now and I realize that it IS just a game, but I still let myself get into it more.

Before I could worry about the first round, it was over. The Yankees had swept the Twins and had won their first playoff series in 6 years. I didn't realize it had been that long...I mean I did...but to actually experience the victory puts it all in perspective. The reward for dispatching the Twins was the chance to play for the American League pennant against the Anaheim Angels...excuse me...the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim (bullshit marketing move).

This was the team that sent the Yankees packing in 2002 and 2005 and was the only team with a winning record against the Yankees in recent history. After the boys took a 2-0 series lead, the kid in me started to think "sweep!!!", but the more realistic and pessimistic side of me knew that this was an extremely good team that wouldn't be sent home that easily. Of course, the Angels came back to win Game 3 in a nailbiter. The Bronx Bombers restored their legacy though by destroying the Angels by a final score of 10-1 in Game 4...putting them one win away from the long-sought-after pennant and a trip to the World Series.

Of course, that was not meant to be just yet. The Angels squeaked by in Game 5, sending the series back to New York for Game 6 and a possible game 7. The optimist in me said that they were just waiting to win it at home, but the pessimist in me was seeing the ghosts of 2004 and started to wonder what would happen if they blew this series too. Would they ever be able to recover? What would I do as a fan?

After a gut-wrenching 3+ hour game, things finally started to relax when the Angels made 2 errors on 2 consecutive Yankees bunts, allowing them to open up a more comfortable 5-2 lead in the bottom of the 8th. I had to change the channel a couple of times because I just couldn't watch when things got a bit dicey, but in the end all was well. Mariano struck out the last batter and I jumped up from the couch, pumped my first in the air and shouted "yea!!!!"

I thought back to 1998 when the Yankees vanquished the Indians in 6 games and I jumped up and down screaming "they did it!!!" and realized that as much as I try to change, I am still a kid when it comes to baseball and the Yankees. No matter how old I get, or how many amazing/crappy finishes there are to various seasons, I always come back for more. This year, my loyalty was rewarded with an American League Championship.

When you start out knowing nothing but success, it takes some time to accept the fact that it's not a right. It's something that is earned...and even worse...as a fan...it's completely out of your control. Unless you're actually out on the field, you're simply an observer.

I've come a long way since that night in 1996. Some things have changed...some haven't. I still like to think that there can be magic in a "lucky" t-shirt...but I also realize that it's also just as likely that it's only an assembly of fabric that covers my upper body.

Who comes away with the World Series trophy won't be determined for another week or so, but no matter what the result...one thing is for certain...I'll be back in 2010. =)

That's all for tonight!

Until next time

686: Argle Bargle

2009-10-18T00:06:00.003-04:00

If anyone can tell me where that title comes from, I will be VERY impressed. =)

But yeah, that's kind of the mood I'm in right now. It's been a busy couple of weeks at the office, and socially things have been kind of blah. I'm kind of at a point now where nothing really gets me going anymore. Everything that I do is somehow connected to drama...which I hate. It's a waste of time and a waste of energy...because in the end...none of it is really worth getting upset over.

I kind of want to take a trip somewhere and just get away from everything and everyone...but I'm not sure where I'd go or what I'd do. I just want to relax and not have to worry about whether or not I'm going to have an argument with an unreasonable coworker or whether or not I can grab myself a date. Sometimes it would be nice to just have things be a little easier.

Granted things COULD be a lot worse. I HAVE a job for one thing. I know a lot of people that don't. I am not seeing anyone right now, but I'm sure that can change too. Thanks to my physical the other week, I have my health...which is extremely important. I guess I just don't have any direction or drive right now. I'm in a "blah" period. It's more of wait and see...and for anyone that knows me...I HATE waiting and seeing :)

On the up-side...the new Battlestar Galactica movie is coming out next Tuesday...and I will be picking that little gem up as soon as I can get my hands on it. I believe the soundtrack will be released in January...so that's something else to look forward to. On the work front, our workspaces are being rearranged, and I am being moved into an office with another traffic guy. He seems cool. The great thing is, he's a freelancer that works the night shift, so he doesn't come in until 2:30. That means I get my own office for most of the day. Woohoo!

As I get older, I realize that everyone pretty much deals with the same shit no matter where they are. We all have problems at work. We all have issues with love and relationships. I think it's just part of being human. And with all of the stress we have right now with the shitty economy and everything being up in the air...I think it's just gotten a little more intense. People have retreated into their own worlds where everything revolves around them and they don't have time for anyone else. That's where we're running into trouble. That's what's setting people on edge.

We need to get back to trying to work together on things. Maybe it won't solve all of our problems, but it will make it easier for all of us to handle them.

That's all for me for now!

Until next time.

685: Short and to the point

2009-10-12T22:19:00.001-04:00

Just a quick update. All the tests from the doc came back fine. I guess I am balding and crazy. Hehe.

Work has been interesting to say the least.

I am pretty happy to be a Yankees fan these days.

That's all for now. More in a couple days, I promise!

Until next time

684: What a week

2009-10-02T21:00:00.004-04:00

This has been quite an interesting week. I took off Monday and Tuesday from work since Tuesday was my birthday. I figured that I would make it a nice long weekend. I went out with my friends on Saturday night had a great time. We had dinner at Carmine's, which is this amazing Italian restaurant in the city that serves monstrous portions of food. It was all terrific, but my favorites were probably the salad and the spaghetti with meatballs. Mmm. I got a very funny and useful gift from my friend Jeffrey, and was really touched that my friends all chipped in and paid for my dinner. That wasn't the intention I had when I went, so it was a nice suprise.

Monday I had dinner with my mom and dad. We went to Houston's and I had a terrific prime rib. They got me a Yankees AL East Champions shirt and gave me a nice check. My mom also supplied one of her amazing birthday poems. I look forward to those every year.

Tuesday, which was my actual birthday, was an interesting day. I had gone to the dermatologist on Monday to get a prescription for Propecia because I just feel like the Rogaine isn't working well enough for me. She told me that I should get a PSA (prostate-specific antigen) test before I start because the drug can artificially raise your levels. PSA levels are generally used to indicate the likelihood of you getting prostate cancer...so she said it was a good idea to have a baseline reading. I agreed.

I scheduled a physical for Wednesday, but I also realized that it had been quite a while since I had gotten an HIV test. Not that I had really done anything to put me at risk, but it had been almost a year and I figured it was time to go again. I was originally going to go to the place in Woodside that I had gone to the last time, but Marshal said I could come to the hospital where he works so I could hang out with him while I did it.

Of course, nothing went smoothly. The little finger sticker didn't work, so the counselor had to use a second one. After that, Marshal realized that I needed a clinic card before she could enter the test results in the computer. That meant that I had to wait beyond the 20 minute test window so he could get back. Of course, I was getting a little bit worked up, but I was pleased to find out that everything was fine.

Later that night, Marshal and I hit up CVS, picked up some cookies and other assorted treats, and had ourselves a little smoking session. I hadn't done that in a very long time, so it was a nice way to relax on my birthday...especially after the tension earlier in the day.

The main reason that I had the HIV test on Tuesday was so that I could get the results right away and not have to wait for the main bloodwork to come back that my doctor was going to take on Wednesday. He said that I seemed in very good health and didn't expect there to be anything abnormal on the tests. I went about my business, which included working until 10:30 PM on Wednesday and 10 PM on Thursday to get a lot of rushed stuff done.

The doctor told me to call him today after 2 PM for my test results. I called and left a message. Unfortunately, I didn't hear my phone ring when he called back, and had to settle for a voicemail. He was reading off all the results, which were fine, until he got to the last one. He said that my thyroid hormone levels were slightly elevated. he asked me to come in again and said that he'd run a more sensitive and specific test, but that it was not an emergency and any time within the next week would be fine.

Now, if any of you reading this know me, you would think that I would up and panic. Of course, I did for a second or two, but then I realized that if he was really concerned, he would have asked me to call him back directly and to come in as soon as possible. Him telling me that it was not an immediately dangerous situation made me feel a lot better. I scheduled an appointment for Monday to have the new tests done, so I should know more by Wednesday.

I'm very curious to see what these tests show, because my thyroid hormone levels have never been tested on previous physical exams, so for all I know, I could have been walking around with a slightly under-active thyroid for years without even knowing it. It might actually explain some of the things I have dealt with at various times. But...I'm not going to draw any conclusions just yet. Thankfully, if I DO have a slight problem, it's fairly easily treated with medication.

I fully intend to spend the next day or so relaxing and enjoying my free time. I have lunch with my aunt and uncle tomorrow, then the MS Bike Ride on Sunday, so it's going to be a nice weekend. I also need to throw in some laundry and grocery shopping. Hmm...maybe not quite as relaxing as I originally thought. =)

That's all for now folks. I wasn't lying when I said it was interesting!

Until next time.

683: Lots of Stuff

2009-09-14T20:17:00.002-04:00

First, I guess I will get to the thing I'm sure you're all just dying to hear about...the computer. Well, of course, things didn't go according to plan. The hard drive went in perfectly. I cloned the 320 GB onto the 1 TB one and poof, instant bigger HD with no hassle. The DVD drive was a different story.

After cracking open the computer and installing both drives, I put it back together only to find that the DVD drive wouldn't power up or accept a disc. I thought that maybe I had erred, but there's just one cable connecting the drive to the motherboard, so I couldn't have done anything wrong. My thought was that they gave me a bad drive. So, I called up the company I bought it from and explained the situation. They sent me out a new one and a return label for the one I had.

After a few days, the new drive showed up. I installed it and got the same result. So here I sat with two dead drives. Somehow I doubt if that was a coincidence. Several people have told me that what could be wrong with it now is that it has a bad cable or the motherboard itself could be faulty. So...I'm left with 3 options...

1) Buy the cable and try it out with the drive. If it doesn't work, I know it's the motherboard that has the issues.

2) Buy a DVD drive with an identical model number to the one that came with the computer. This would determine whether it's the model of drive they gave me that's iffy.

3) Return the DVD drive, forget about messing with the motherboard since it's really easy to damage, and just buy a $60 external burner. This is obviously the safest and most cost-effective option.

At this point I'm leaning towards #3. I've already risked damaging the computer several times, and the thought of pulling apart the motherboard, while intriguing, simply isn't worth risking a $1500 computer. All I would need is to accidentally bend the board and poof...a powerful computer becomes a paperweight. I'll probably have to pay the return costs to get this drive back to the seller, but whatever. At least I was able to swap out the HD. Hehe.

Next up is another topic of frustration...my hair. Some time ago, I noticed that my scalp was showing through a bit more than I'd have liked it to. I went to a dermatologist and was prescribed Propecia, the once-daily treatment for hair loss. It worked. My hair started to grow back and I was pretty happy with the results. The only thing I DIDN'T like was the cost. It's about $60 a month for a prescription, which isn't chump change.

I had also read about how Propecia prevented prostate cancer in men, but those who developed it tended to get more aggressive cancers. The risk was about 1-2%, which is really low, but that combined with the cost led me to try something that's been on the market for a long time with proven safety and efficacy...Rogaine. I bought the foam because it was easier to apply than the liquid. At first I saw results...but I've been on it for a little over a year now, and I think things are starting to decline. I'm starting to see my hair fall out more, and I'm not the only one who has noticed.

Now, all of these products say that after a year or so of not using them, you will revert back to your previous stage of hair loss. Since it's been over a year since I last used Propecia, I am beginning to wonder if the Rogaine just slowed down the devolution back into a state of hair loss. Granted I'm not a cue ball, but I am seriously considering just absorbing the cost and giving Propecia another go. If I was in my 40's or 50's I might think otherwise, but I'm only 26 (soon to be 27), and I just want this taken care of. Gotta start investigated dermatologists...

Speaking of the aging process, my birthday is 2 weeks from tomorrow. I'll be turning the big 2-7. For some reason, this birthday brings with it a sense of actually getting older. A lot of my friends and coworkers are getting married, some are even having kids, so I guess that heightens the sense as well. When you turn 25 and 26, you're still pretty new at things. Most of us have recently moved out and are just started to reach a financial state that doesn't result in panic every time a bill comes in the mail. We're STARTING to become adults. When I think about hitting 27 though, it seems different.

For one thing, I thought I would be making more money. Granted I'm not doing badly, but when I graduated college Manga Cum Laude with my sparkling 3.7 GPA, I was told that the world was my oyster and I would be able to do WHATEVER I wanted. Not being able to find a job for the next 8 months sort of takes the luster off of that little coin, but I still harbored the hope that my hard work would be rewarded.

I see some of my friends buying apartments, and I wonder how the hell they do it. I can't even scrape together the money for a down payment, and I have what I would consider a pretty decent savings account and an ok 401k. I am also in a position at work that is quickly becoming untenable...so the prospect of ticking another year off of the march towards 30...when everything is allegedly supposed to come together...isn't all that delightful.

Then again, I don't want to seem totally negative. I have great friends and a terrific and supportive family. My mom and dad took me to see Avenue Q the other night, and it was an amazing show. It totally resonated with me. While things are tough, and I am still looking for my "purpose", it's not all bad. I can afford to pay my rent because I have a job, and I can go out on the town when I feel like it. I can buy nice things for myself or others once in a while too...so I guess it's not all bad. I know people who are considerably worse off.

So that's what's been rolling around in my head for the last few weeks. Oh, did I mention that I'm still single? Hehe. Not that it's horrible, but I would like to find someone special to spend time with. The longer I am a bachelor, the more I realize how hard it is to find really good people in general, whether it's as a friend or more. I am thankful for what I have, and I would love a little more...but wouldn't we all. =)

Until next time

682: Prep For Gadget Surgery

2009-08-31T10:28:00.002-04:00

This past weekend, my iMac decided that it would have its first meltdown in the 20 or so months that I've owned it. I put in a disc to install Final Cut Express HD, and the computer decided it didn't want to acknowledge that the disc was in the drive. I tried the usual commands to eject it, but didn't have any luck. I figured something was up.

I started browsing online to see what one does when one has a disc stuck in their iMac. When you have a stuck disc in a PC, you get your handy paperclip and stick it into the manual eject hole. The disc then pops out and all is well. Unfortunately, the normally thoughtful engineers at Apple for some reason decided NOT to include that helpful feature on this line of computers. The reasoning for that escapes me, since no matter how well-designed a machine is, it's still a machine and that means that it can break.

So after several hours of browsing and finding some stories similar to my own, I decided that the only acceptable course of action would be to take the thing into the Apple store to have it looked at. Thankfully I had kept the original box for the sucker under my bed, so I had a vessel in which to transport it. I had forgotten how heavy the stupid thing was though, so that was a pleasant trip.

My appointment with the "Genius Bar" was scheduled for 4:20 on Saturday. Of course, like any diagnostic service, whether it be for humans or machines, they were running late. I finally was seen at around 4:50, where the tech spent all of about 10 minutes looking at the computer. He opened up the Disk Utility and the System Profiler and determined that the computer wasn't recognizing the drive, so it must be malfunctioning.

I bit my tongue, because my response to him was going to be "Really Einstein? I lugged my computer all this way for you to do the exact same shit that I did at home? Thanks for your help". He then told me that since my computer was out of warranty (Apple warranties are for a year and I've had mine for a year and 8 months), the repair would cost $400 including parts and labor. I basically just said "wow". His suggestion was to buy an external DVD drive and just use it that way.

So let's recap shall we? I hauled my computer for 45 minutes to the store, waited 30 minutes past my appointment and had a tech look at my computer for all of 10 minutes to tell me what I already knew and that the repair to the DVD drive would cost almost 1/3 of the price of the entire computer...Genius my ass.

Actually the news wasn't all that bad. I was kind of hoping that was the answer I'd get because I've been itching to pry my way into the iMac. I had done some research on the topic and had discovered that while it was not quite as straightforward as working with a desktop, it didn't take a degree in nuclear physics to crack the sucker open. It just involved patience and precision...not normally two of my strongest qualities, but I figured I'd take it as a challenge.

In addition to replacing the DVD drive, I had also been wanting to upgrade the hard drive to rely less on my external HD, which generates a lot of heat and requires a separate power source. After some consulting with my friend Jeffrey and some shopping online, I located an OEM (original equipment manufacturer) DVD drive that retailed for $85. Yes, that's right...$85. With 2-day shipping, it cost me a whopping $97. So, for 1/4 of the price, I found exactly what I needed. I also located a 1 TB hard drive (my current one is 320 GB) for $107 with 2-day shipping and snapped that up as well.

So now that I had the parts taken care of...I decided that I should attempt to rescue my trapped disc. That would give me the experience of opening up the computer and getting everything ready for the forthcoming transplant. I re-reviewed the youtube videos that I found to be the most helpful and had them cued up and ready to go in case I needed a pointer or two, and got to work.

Everything actually went very smoothly. I managed to get the glass, case and monitor out without breaking anything (visibly anyway) and the drives came out very easily. I also organized all of the screws and brackets and labeled them, so when the new parts come, I can easily reconnect everything. Now it's just a matter of waiting...which many of you know...is NOT easy for me. Hehe.

I am baffled though as to why virtually everything that I've gotten from Apple has had some type of problem. I had to have my first iPhone replaced twice. My second one needed a swap as well. My MacBook needed a new keyboard after only 3 months. Now this. The only two things I haven't had a problem with are my router and my Apple TV. Well...not yet anyway.

Before you say anything, it's not like I'm rough on my computers. Quite the opposite. I never take the MacBook out of the house, and the iMac has sat on my desk without being moved since I bought it. The iPhones I can almost understand since they're newer technology and that's bound to be a little buggy, but a dead DVD drive is a little irritating. That's something that should be a fairly standard part by now. As a matter of fact, when I openend up the computer, I discovered that it was a Pioneer drive. I have had a lot of problems with Pioneer in the past, so I wasn't really surprised.

Here's hoping that the transplant goes well and I don't wind up with a $1500 paperweight. =) I'll keep ya posted!

Until next time.

681: It's August

2009-08-05T22:21:00.003-04:00

Yup. It's that time of the year again...the time when you step outside and you feel like you've walked into an oven. Yippee!!

Anyway...I haven't felt a whole lot like writing lately. I've been in a bit of a funk. Not much has gone smoothly in my personal or professional life, but I feel like there comes a point where you have to just start letting things roll off of you...otherwise the weight will crush you. I kind of hit that turning point over the last couple of days. We'll see how it goes from here...but I feel like things have to get better...and keeping at least a semi-positive outlook on things will probably help. =)

It hasn't all been bad though. I have had a few moments of fun these last few weeks. Let me share them with you.

1) My first trip to the new Yankee Stadium

I decided to go by myself the weekend after July 4th. I had attempted to get tickets on the 5th, but that was a bad idea...so I rescheduled. I took in the sights and sounds of the new place, which I have to say is a worthy successor to the building I grew up watching games in. Keep in mind that I said "successor"...not replacement. Nothing can replace Yankee Stadium. It also helped that the Bombers won the game 2-1. =)

2) Paul McCartney At Citi Field with Mom and Dad

This was something that I had wanted to do for quite a while. My mom is one of the biggest Beatles' fans in the world, and to see Sir Paul with her and my dad was truly a fun experience. He may be 67, but he can still rock the house. He put on a 2.5 hr show with no breaks. It was fantastic and something that I will always remember.

3) Battlestar Galactica Season 4 Soundtrack

If you've never heard any of Bear McCreary's music, you probably won't really understand, but this was a really amazing CD set. I had been waiting for this ever since I heard some of the cues played earlier in the year when BSG ran out it's final half season. I knew that the CD would be good...but I didn't know that it would be this good.

The show's final season wrapped up everything character-wise, and Bear's soundtrack did the same sonically. I just sat and listened carefully to each track and absorbed it. Each piece tells a story that is even more fulfilling if you have listened to the previous releases. You see how the music evolved with the characters it represented. It's just great music...not to mention a great soundtrack. The fact that J&R screwed up and released it a week before it was supposed to come out was just icing on the cake!

4) Cousin Brian's Birthday Party

My cousin turned 40 this year, and it's always great to see him. My aunt and uncle surprised him by flying his family in from Arizona for the weekend. He was up here for business and they decided to make sure that he had a really happy birthday. The family got together and we ate, drank and laughed. I couldn't have asked for a better day. My aunt and uncle are two of my favorite people in this world and to be with them, my cousin, his wife and kids was a ton of fun.

Here's me and the birthday boy:

And here's me with my adorable little cousins, Rachael, Ethan and Jonathan:

4) Raise

I got a very good performance review, accompanied by a rather nice raise. In this economy, I was surprised we got anything at all, so to discover I got what I did really made me happy. Of course, New York couldn't let me enjoy it for very long, since as soon as I got home there was a letter in my mailbox telling me that the property management had applied for a Major Capital Improvement rent increase because they redid some stucco or something to the tune of $22 a month. Oh well. Since that would have happened anyway, I'm glad my raise covered it.

So yeah...it's been a mix of good and blah lately...but hopefully the good will outweigh the blah a bit more.

Until next time!

680: The Future Returns!!

2009-07-15T14:51:00.003-04:00

So last night I was browsing the web and I figured I would do my customary Battlestar Galactica/Futurama news check. Since both shows are off the air, I just check in periodically to see if there are any special events or other things associated with my dearly departed programs. I pretty much know what's up in BSG land. The DVD and soundtrack for Season 4 (4.5 for the DVD) are coming out on the 28th and a TV movie will be released this fall. Futurama hasn't had any updates since the last of 4 straight-to-DVD movies was released in February...or so I thought.

I hadn't checked gotfuturama.com in a month or so, and it turns out that I missed some HUGE news...it's coming back!!! In early June, Comedy Central decided that they would order 26 new episodes to be produced to air in mid-2010. Why? Because the fans (myself included) demonstrated that there is still a market for the show by buying up a ton of copies of the 4 movies and watching the reruns religiously. So, Futurama basically pulled a Family Guy. It's popularity in repeats and on the video store shelves convinced Fox to dust it off for another try. I couldn't be happier.

With all of the shit that's on TV these days, and most of my favorite shows out of production, this is a very exciting piece of news. It's still up for debate who will be airing the episodes though. Comedy Central has signed on to be the broadcaster, but since 20th Century Fox is producing, FOX TV has a built-in right to pick up the show as well. If they do, I hope they treat it better than they did last time.

One of the main reasons that the show was canceled the first time was the fact that FOX aired it on Sunday nights at 7 PM. That's a bad time to begin with since it's not prime time, but when you add in the fact that FOX also broadcasts the NFL for most of the Fall season, you don't get a very favorable mix for my favorite 30th century delivery crew. The show was constantly being pre-empted, joined in progress or just bounced from the schedule altogether. This led to lackluster ratings and its eventual cancellation. Even I didn't know when or if it was going to be on. It was really frustrating.

Thankfully though, strong DVD sales and high cable rerun ratings led to the decision to produce the 4 movies, and the success of those led it to return to the now-digital airwaves. So...7 years after it's cancellation, it will be back! I personally hope Comedy Central gets the rights, since they do a great job of promoting their shows. Even if they don't get the first-run rights, they are assured of getting the rerun rights, so it will do well. Hopefully this is just the beginning of a long run for Futurama.

This news gets me pretty jazzed about the 2010 TV season. Between Caprica and Futurama, I think I'll finally have something worth putting on my DVR again other than Food Network shows.

In conclusion...to quote Bender...cancellation can bite my shiny metal ass! Welcome back Futurama!!

Until next time

679: I Never Thought I'd Say This...

2009-07-08T11:34:00.003-04:00

...but my old roommate in Boston might have been right...to some degree.

When I first got to Boston University 9 years ago, I had a roommate that I thought was a pretty cool guy...then something changed and he became really bitter and depressed. I remember that we were out walking one night and he told me that the only way to be truly happy was to abandon all hope.

After that, we sort of drifted apart as he spiraled down into a darker, more Weezer-obsessed existence. I thought he was an idiot for saying something like that. After all, how can you be happy if you have no hope? That's no way to live. I wound up leaving Boston and my old roommate behind after my freshman year for the greener pastures of Binghamton University, but those words have always stuck in my head for some reason.

The other day in the shower, I started thinking that maybe James was onto something. Obviously not to the degree that he took it to, but in some sense, I think he was on the right track. I have always been a person that expects a lot. I expect a lot out of myself and I expect a lot out of others. This frequently leads me to be disappointed when things don't go as I feel they should. I wind up frustrated and sometimes even angry. Maybe the solution is to not "hope" for so much.

There's a rather pessimistic saying in sports that goes: You can't lose if you don't play. This would be the counterpart to: Nothing ventured, nothing gained. But in some sense, I think the first one applies a bit to me. Like I said, I expect a LOT, so if I reduce my expectations, maybe it will lead me to be less disappointed in the end. You can't be disappointed if you don't expect anything right?

I also find it kind of funny that I am a pessimist about a lot of things, but an eternal optimist about others. Take online shopping. Whenever I buy something, I am absolutely convinced that it will never arrive or it will not arrive properly until the gadget is sitting in my hands and I realize that everything is ok. Where relationships are concerned, I always assume that everything is going to work out exactly as it should.

In reality, things should kind of be switched. I tend to have little faith in things that follow process, and a lot of faith in things that are subject to forces outside of my control. One would think a reversal would be in order. But then again, I never said I was normal. =)

So that's my little gem for today.

Until next time!

678: The Reviews Are In

2009-06-21T10:05:00.003-04:00

So let's start back at the beginning. I took Friday off from work as my first Summer Day slash mental health day, not knowing at the time I put in for it that it would be the same day as the release of the 3GS. Even after I found out that the phone was coming out on the 19th, it didn't concern me because as you all know, my original delivery date was June 24th. Once they moved it up to the 19th though, I became a little anxious.

There I sat on Friday, checking the FedEx site to see if the phone had finally arrived at my office. I would obviously have to make a trip into the city since I was comfortably in my computer chair and the phone would be delivered to my office. I busied myself with various household tasks that needed to be finished anyway. At around 1 PM I was talking to Les and he told me that it was here.

I got dressed and showered in record time and went to 23rd to pick up my new toy. Upon arriving I found the box waiting for me on Les' desk. I walked over and started to tear into it. Les offered me a scissor, but I opted to use my hands instead. I don't do well with sharp objects when I'm excited. =) I finished removing the tape and peered inside. My heart immediately sank.

Inside the box was not my much-anticipated iPhone. It was a 120 GB iPod. I looked at the box again, thinking that maybe they had made a mistake. The order slip inside did indeed say that there was supposed to be an iPhone there. Our office services and IT guys were at Les' desk too to watch the event, but I was too busy being angry to notice them. I immediately started cursing Apple and said that I knew something like this was going to happen.

I started pondering my options. Should I go to AT&T or Apple and demand what I ordered? Should I call Apple? I figured the latter would be the best option. The guys agreed with me. So I turned to use the phone at Les' desk, when Manny, our office services guy, said that I should hang on to the box just in case. I figured that was a good suggestion, so I whirled around to get it, and I just froze.

There in the box was my iPhone. Apparently Les had thought it would be funny to play a trick on me knowing how anxious I was to get the phone. The other guys were all in on it and actually supplied him with the iPod box to slip into the packaging. I have to say they did a very good job. I was completely fooled. I wasn't even mad at that point. I was just glad I finally had the damn thing.

So after using it for a couple of days I have to say that I am very impressed. The speaker is nice and loud, the screen is a bit brighter, it's MUCH faster than my old one, and the little extra goodies they put in like voice dialing and the compass are a lot of fun to use. I am extremely happy with my purchase. The ONE problem I have is that the text alerts are really loud...even if you turn the volume all the way down. I'm going to be following the boards to see if anyone else is having this issue. I'm sure Apple will release some software update within the next couple of weeks if it's widespread enough. Other than that though, I am a happy camper!

Oh, and HAPPY FATHERS DAY Dad!

Until next time.

677: I'm gonna let you go

2009-06-18T23:00:00.001-04:00

Have you ever uttered, or heard someone utter these words during a conversation? When I first heard them, I innocently thought that the person on the other end of the conversation had told the person I was looking at that they had to go. The polite thing to say would then naturally be "well I'll let you go". But the more I heard it, the more I realized that it had a different, less polite meaning.

You see, in today's society, we try REALLY hard not to piss anyone else off or hurt their feelings. It's not because we actually care about the other person's well-being though. It's because we don't want to look bad or be perceived as rude. So if you really think about it..."I'll let you go" is a nice way of saying "I'm done talking to you".

I've had this done to me a couple of times...and the next time someone does it, I'm going to call them on it. What if I'm not ready to end the conversation? We could be having a perfectly nice chat when someone pipes up with "well I'll let you go". I'm just going to say..."Oh I don't have to be anywhere. We can keep talking" That way it forces the other person to admit that they have something else to do and want to end the conversation.

I really don't see why it's so hard for people just to be honest. If you're done talking, just say so. Say, well I'm gonna go head to the store or I'm gonna go to bed. I don't think anyone would take offense. When you make it seem like you're doing them a favor by ending the call though, I could see that causing some irritation.

People really need to just own up to their thoughts and feelings and bring them out into the open. It seems as time goes on, people find more and more ways to cover up reality. It's kinda sad actually.

In other news, my iPhone is currently parked in Newark for the evening awaiting the last leg of its journey to New York City. I am really excited. =)

Well...it's getting late...so I'll let you guys go. Ha! Nah...I've run out of things to say, so I will end my entry for tonight. See? Open and honest. Was that so hard? I don't think so.

Until next time!

676: Geek Week Snags

2009-06-16T23:23:00.002-04:00

So today almost derailed all of Geek Week. Last night I debated staying up until 12:01 to buy the Caprica soundtrack. It's a good thing I didn't...because when I woke up this morning, I discovered that it hadn't been released on iTunes as I had assumed it would be. After all, they had the actual movie...so why wouldn't they carry the soundtrack. For whatever reason, they didn't though, and I got a bit nervous.

My next step was to check out Best Buy. I figured I might have gotten to them a bit early, because their site still said that it was available for pre-order. Later in the day, I went over to the one by my office only to discover that they did have them available, but not in the store. They were only online, and it wouldn't ship for 3-5 business days.

Not wanting to wait that long and ruin Geek Week, I began to seek out other alternatives. Since Virgin and Circuit City had just closed and FYE, HMV and Tower Records were long gone, I realized that there were pretty much NO music stores in New York. Then, out of nowhere, it hit me. Try J&R Music. I figured they were my last shot before I'd have to break down and order it online somewhere.

Their website said that they had it in stock, so I called the store to verify. Lo and behold, they had it! Les and I took a trip down there at lunch. I wound up paying a couple of more dollars than I would have at Best Buy, but I also was able to have it in my impatient little hands this afternoon.

I've been listening to it and it sounds great. It's not quite as...tribal...as BSG...but I knew that going in. This was written for a different time in the show's history and it is clearly evident in the music. There are some cues that are similar, and the same broad style is there...but it's a very different sound...one that I really like. I think I'm going to be twirling this one around the old earphones for quite some time.

So the Geek Week Tally stands at 1-1 so far. Next up...iPhone OS 3.0 tomorrow morning!!

Until next time =)

675: Geek Week!!!

2009-06-15T10:35:00.002-04:00

I'm back by popular demand!! Who knew anyone even read this damn thing? =)

So today marks the start of what I have christened Geek Week. Why you ask? Several reasons:

6/16 Caprica Soundtrack release

This is something I've been waiting for for a few months now. Ever since I heard that they were producing a prequel series to my dearly-departed Battlestar Galactica, I had been on edge to check it out. Having watched and loved the DVD, I turned my attention to the audio portion of the show.

The music seemed very reminiscent of BSG, which makes sense as it's written by the same composer and the show is supposed to take place in the same universe. There are subtle differences though. It's a lot more...musical. BSG featured a lot of drums and world instruments, which I absolutely loved. The sonic style was designed to reflect the plight of the people on the show...traveling through space looking for a new home while being pursued by Cylons out for blood. Not exactly conducive to ballads. Still though, the music was outstanding and I have all 3 (soon to be 4 in July) of the series' soundtracks.

Caprica is a different type of show. It's planet-based, so that allows for a richer score. The story itself is also more of a family drama than sci-fi military drama (yes Jeffrey, I said MILITARY DRAMA!), so it can be more musical. I plan on purchasing this first thing tomorrow morning and listening to it all day. =)

2) iPhone OS 3.0 6/17

A couple of weeks ago, I figured this would be the highlight of June, but that was before they announced the new iPhone itself. The new phone will come with OS 3.0 preloaded, but I will be upgrading my old EDGE unit before I turn it over to my friend. I plan to use this to practice a bit before the new toy comes on Friday.

It should be awesome. There are a lot of features that iPhoners have been waiting for for years...literally. Copy and Paste and MMS are the two biggies that should have been included from the get go. What really ticks me off though is that AT&T won't be rolling out the MMS service until "later this summer". Way to make us wait...fuckers.

3) iPhone 3GS

The S is supposed to stand for speed, but we shall see. I'm really excited as this is my first new phone in 2 years. I've been using the EDGE one without incident, but I feel like it's time to upgrade. I use the internet quite a bit, and the EDGE device just isn't fast enough for me. This new dealie is supposed to take advantage of a new spectrum that's a lot faster...2x faster to be exact...so we shall see. I also upgraded to the 16GB model, so now I can pack even more songs, apps and maybe even a few videos into it.

There is still a bit of a scheduling question. When I ordered it, I was told that there were a variety of shipping options, so I was prepared to wait until Wednesday the 24th to get the phone. I then received an email from Apple telling me that my phone would actually be delivered on the 19th...the day it will be released for sale. I called the fine folks at Apple to follow up and explained the situation. They told me that they changed their shipping so ALL phones would be delivered on the 19th. I asked what would happen to the people who paid for expedited shipping, and they said they would be refunded. I guess we'll wait and see.

And finally, just on a side note...Star Trek has made over $300 million worldwide since it's release on May 8th. I really can't tell you how happy that makes me. After watching 2 bad movies (Insurrection and Nemesis) and one disaster of a TV series (Enterprise), it's nice to see the old girl up and running again. All it took was an infusion of new talent.

The problem with any franchise is that when you run it with the same people for so long, they forget what it's like to view it from the outside. That eventually led Star Trek to lose any type of mainstream audience. Being a niche product is nice, but it doesn't make money...and Star Trek really started to go down the toilet. I was actually afraid that it was done forever, but this movie met and exceeded any expectations that I might have had, and it has revitalized something that means a lot to me.

One of the best things about all of this success the movie has had is that it makes me feel good. It's great to see something that I was made fun of for watching as a kid now being seen as "cool". I guess if you stick with anything long enough, it comes back in fashion.

So there you have it folks...my triumphant return to blogging.

Hope you enjoyed.

Until next time!

674: Cutting Out The Crap

2009-02-21T21:01:00.002-05:00

A fairly straightforward title for my latest entry, and that's kind of the point. Over the last few weeks and months, I've realized that there is a lot in my life that has caused me unnecessary stress. Whether it be friends that aren't really friends, or coworkers that I waste my time being concerned about when I don't get the same courtesy in return, I've decided to start paring down my social circles.

Until recently, I've always just thought that I have "friends", but recently I kind of discovered that there are different levels of friends. First, you have your inner circle. These are the people that you can call at 3 AM and they will be there to help you no matter what. You can literally bet your life on them if you need to. Typically growing up, I had only one of these, but in recent years, I've been fortunate enough to expand that circle significantly.

After that inner sanctum, you have your regular friends. People you can talk to if you feel like it and call if you feel like it, but don't depend to heavily on. I've got a decent number of these as well.

The third circle is what I call the poison circle. These are the people that just irritate you for one reason or another. They only call you when they need things, their drama spills over into your life, they can never be counted on for anything, or they just ask ridiculous things of you. This is what I'm trying to minimize.

When I was little, I wasn't very social, and didn't have a whole lot of friends. Now that I'm older and more confident in myself, I have managed to accumulate a nice group. I no longer feel the need to keep EVERYONE that I know as a friend, because frankly, I don't have a ton of time in my social life and I want to focus on those people that are worth it.

It's kind of liberating. I feel a bit selfish at times, thinking "who am I to decide who I want to see and who I don't?", but then I realize that it's MY life, and for the first time, it's MY decision as to who I want to spend my time with. There's nothing wrong with saying no. God knows I've heard it enough. I'm allowed to be selective with people, and if I see someone that's not really close to me is causing me more harm than good, it's just not worth it anymore.

Now I'm not saying I'm going to cut those people off and tell them to go fuck themselves, but I will limit my contact with them to when it's convenient for me and not for them. Hopefully this gives me more time to focus on the important things and less things to stress over.

Is this what it feels like to be an adult?

Interesting... =)

Until next time!

673: Will Truman...Gay Lawyer Turned Straight Ad Exec

2009-02-11T21:59:00.003-05:00

So I've been watching a new show on TNT called Trust Me. It stars Eric McCormack and Tom Cavanagh and takes place in the world of advertising. Several things initially attracted me to the show, but the one that drew me in the most was the chance to see Eric McCormack back on TV. He was one of my favorite characters on Will and Grace, which went off the air in 2006. I was really disappointed with the way that show ended, so I was looking forward to seeing him again in a new role.

Now, we all have our attachments to characters and we associate the qualities the characters display with the actors that play them. It's fairly common, since the majority of the time we see the actor in character. Only rarely do we get a glimpse of their true personality. If the actor plays one character for a very long time, or a string of similar characters, people tend to start believing that that's all the actor is known for. That's called typecasting.

As a fan of W&G, I was kind of hoping to see Eric portray a little bit of Will in his new show. Will was a great character, and I felt like he had a lot of qualities that I would like to see in another of Eric's performances. That, and I missed my W&G, so any chance to see even a little bit of Will would be welcome.

Much to my excitement and disappointment, Eric's new character, Mason McGuire, pretty much is Will. It's strange that it could be both, but it really is. As I said before, I love any opportunity to see Will again, but I also realized that this is a NEW show and to trot out the same character again is kind of blah.

The difference here though is that Mason is straight. Kind of odd, considering Mason is an even gayer name than Will. =) Kidding. Seriously though, I do remember Eric McCormack once saying in an interview that when he auditioned for the part of Will, the producers told him that he should just play himself, just gay instead of straight. Seeing Mason for a few episodes convinced me that he took their advice to heart.

The disappointment also comes from the fact that I feel like they are just rehashing the Will character with a few tweaks. I loved Will and I really don't want to see him brought out again and changed. It was what it was for 8 years, and now it's time to move on. Oh well. Maybe I shouldn't get this worked up about a TV show. Hahaha. Riiiight...Battlestar anyone?

The other thing that kinda bummed me out about the show is its setting. I do find the advertising world really interesting, but after a day full of stress, bullshit and REALLY dumb people, the last thing I want to do is put on the TV and watch the exact same thing that I just left! Maybe I'll switch to watching it on weekends.

All in all though, it's an OK show. It's only been on for 3 episodes, so it hasn't really had the chance to gel yet, but it may have some potential. It has a good cast, which includes Monica Potter, who I always liked on my now dearly departed Boston Legal. I guess I'll give it the rest of the season to see how I like it.

I tend to have trouble getting into series. It takes me a while to warm up to it and consider it worth my time. Hell, it took my friends about 3 months to get me to even borrow their Battlestar Galactica DVDs, then another month for me to actually work up the desire to put them in the player. Now I can't get enough of that frakking show. =)

Another barricade to my enjoying television is the fact that a ton of shows get canceled each season, and if you've read this blog before, you know that a lot of them are ones that I really liked. After a while, it just doesn't seem to be worth the investment to only have it canned after a year or two. That's why I tend to stick to the Food Network or reruns of classic tv. At least they're not going anywhere any time soon.

So I hope this window into my thoughts didn't prove too frightening to you. Now that my cable box seems to be cooperating again, I believe I will finish out the episode.

Until next time!

672: Juror #8

2009-01-29T17:51:00.002-05:00

A couple of weeks ago I received one of those oh-so-lovely blue and white letters in my mailbox. You know...the ones that have JUROR SUMMONS printed in big letters right on the front. Of course, I cursed at it and wanted to throw it away, but I knew better. My next feeling was confusion, since I had been a telephone standby juror about a year ago. I thought back, and realized that there had been one day that I had forgotten to check my number to see if it had been called. Since I had never heard from the court, I had assumed that everything was fine and I had been skipped. Apparently I was wrong.

I contacted the court and told them what happened. They said that unless I still had the summons from 2007, I was required to show up for this jury duty session. Since I clearly did not have the summons, I was screwed. I told my boss that I would have to start calling on the 23rd to see if I would be needed, and started the waiting game.

When 5 PM rolled around on the 23rd, I logged on to the court's website and checked out the numbers. Of course, mine came up to go to Kew Gardens first thing Monday morning. I was less than thrilled that I would have to go into the court, but I was kind of happy to be off from work since things have been a bit insane there lately.

I took myself over to the familiar Union Turnpike subway station and walked over to the jury pool building. Took me a minute or two to find it, but I made it in. I was immediately alarmed by the lack of power outlets. My hope had been that I would be able to plug in my laptop and just park myself in front of the screen all day and surf the web while chatting with my friends. I managed to find one of the few outlets in the place, but my happiness was short-lived as I was called for a jury panel within an hour.

They escorted us into the courthouse and had us fill out questionnaires. After that, we were taken into the courtroom and called up to the jury box in groups of 16. The prosecution and defense attorneys began asking the prospective jurors questions that we would later find out pertained to the case. An example was "If you woke up and saw snow on the ground, but you didn't actually see the snow fall, would it be logical to assume that it snowed the night before?" Another question was "If you and your friend went to a parade and someone asked you what you saw, would the fact that you each noticed different things mean that you weren't at the same parade?"

From the first group of 16, 10 were sent home and 6 were chosen. My group was next. Of course, I was chosen. They didn't really give us the opportunity to make any statements that would disqualify us from serving. One guy piped up though and said that "any person who is arrested must be guilty" and he was dismissed. He didn't get to go home though. He had to go back to the jury room.

Personally, I would rather serve on a case. At least you know that you will be doing something rather than sitting in a room waiting to be called for another case. In this particular case, the defendant was accused of stealing a plumbing van from a job site in Manhattan and taking it into Queens where he was apprehended by police. The judge told us that it likely would not be a very long case and that we should be done by the end of the week.

The attorneys were very interesting. The prosecutor was actually terrible. It looked like it was her first case. She stumbled over her words, could not remember the ONE date that was involved in the trial, and constantly referred to us as a Grand Jury, when we were merely a jury. The judge corrected her a couple of times. She also was awful at interviewing her own witnesses. Her supervisor was in the courtroom with her a couple of times and pulled her aside to give her advice. If that were me, I would have been embarrassed.

The defense attorney was a typical sleaze. He had a comb-over, was not neatly dressed, and had a very heavy New York accent. You could tell he wasn't exactly a high-priced defender.

The first witness called was the driver of the plumbing truck. He testified to the location of the truck, the time he picked it up and the time he noticed it missing. He contended that he arrived at the job site around 9 AM, went down to the truck to get something at around 11, then went down again at 11:15 and noticed that the truck was gone. He stated that he called his boss, who used the truck's GPS system to track it and notify police.

The defense attorney tried to discredit his testimony by using the time logs from the GPS. He asked why the logs showed that the truck was moving at 7:15 AM when he claimed to have arrived at work at 8. He also asked what the name of his partner at the time was, and the guy could only remember his first name. A good attempt, but not really relevant to the charges.

After the driver was excused, one of the owners of the company that owned the plumbing truck was called. He essentially gave the same story, saying that he received a call at around 11:30 from the driver saying the truck was gone and that his office went to work to locate it and relay that information to the police. He also produced a receipt for repairs to the truck. Damage was indicated to the passenger-side door, the steering column and the ignition in the sum of about $850.

The defense attorney did create some doubt by asking why it was paid in cash and why there was no VIN # or plate # on the receipt. It merely contained the name of the plumbing company and the truck number. The Vin and plate # are fairly standard things to put on a repair order. My feeling was that since the owner lives on Staten Island and the repairs were done there, the owner of the shop was a friend of his and came up with an inflated receipt for insurance purposes. Again though, it had nothing to do with whether the defendant actually took the truck.

The next witnesses were the 3 police officers who arrived on the scene. The first two shared a very similar story since they both approached the driver's side of the van. According to the officers, they walked up to the van, asked the defendant multiple times to get out, and he refused. They then opened the door (more on this later) and pulled him out of the van and placed him on the pavement. According to the officers, the defendant resisted arrest by placing his hands under his body, but eventually complied and allowed himself to be cuffed behind his back.

The defendant had previously filed a complaint with the Civilian Complaint Review Board against the first two officers for use of excessive force. He claimed that his arm was injured during the arrest and he had abrasions on his face. The allegations were deemed to be unfounded by the CCRB and the officers did not face any disciplinary action.

From the demeanor of the officers and their testimony about not recognizing the arrest photo of the defendant, which did show abrasions on his face, it was clear that they were hiding something. they clearly used more force than was required when arresting the defendant and probably yanked him out of the car and pushed him to the ground. This action was not unwarranted given his initial refusal to leave the truck, but they probably did use a bit too much force.

The defense attorney harped on this subject for a very long time, but in my mind, and the minds of the other jurors, it had nothing to do with the charges. What happened after the vehicle was taken has nothing to do with whether or not the defendant actually took the vehicle.

The third officer was clearly newer at testifying and provided us with more information. He was the one that took the defendant to the hospital after he complained of his injury. While at the hospital, he claimed that the defendant asked him several questions including "How did you catch me?" The officer notified him that the vehicle had a GPS tracking device behind the radio and they were able to follow the truck over the bridge.

Again, the defense attorney pounced on the officer, asking whether or not this confession was documented. The officer stated that it was not, since he did not have his memo book. He didn't carry it because he was escorting the defendant to the hospital to be examined and didn't expect to be taking statements. He was also not the arresting officer, so he was not required to document the incident.

The attorney also focused on the fact that the officer's memo book was destroyed 2 months later in a flood, but the jurors saw no value in that since the officer stated that nothing was written in it regarding the case. One major thing that I toyed with briefly was that the officers admitted that the defendant was NOT read his Miranda Rights at the time of his arrest.

Generally you are supposed to be read your rights, which include the statement that anything you say can and will be used against you. The judge later told us that regardless of whether or not he was read his rights, he is free to make statements at any time, which he apparently did.

In general I found this case to be poorly investigated. Since it took place 2 years ago, exact dates and times were kind of fuzzy, which is understandable, but most of the information was similar enough to make it believable. The police definitely didn't do a great job though, which made a slam-dunk case a little harder to prove.

Some of their errors were pretty blatant. In addition to using a bit too much force when arresting the defendant, they also failed to read him his rights. Also, the damage to the truck wasn't photographed until after the vehicle was brought back to the precinct. It should have been done on the scene. An alleged backpack full of tools that didn't belong to the plumbing company was also found on the passenger seat, but no pictures were taken of it, and it was not allowed into evidence for some reason. The truck wasn't dusted for fingerprints either.

In the end though, all we had to do as a jury was decide whether or not the defendant was guilty of the possession of stolen property and operating a vehicle without permission. Since the defense attorney never refuted the prosecution's claim that the defendant was found behind the wheel of the truck at the time it was stopped, that was pretty much it. They never gave an alternate location or anything to create doubt that he was the one in the truck.

There was also a third count of criminal mischief related to the defendant actually breaking into the van, but that was dropped. Once the tools were not allowed into evidence, they could not prove that he was the one that physically broke into the truck. We couldn't have gotten him on it anyway. The funny thing was, the police officers stated that when they pulled the truck over, the driver's side door was unlocked, so it is possible that the original driver of the truck didn't secure the locks when he went back up into the building to do his work...meaning the guy broke into an unlocked truck.

Our deliberations took about 15 minutes this morning. After listening to the judge telling us what testimony we were allowed to accept and what we needed to disregard (sustained objections, disallowed evidence, etc), we retired to the jury room. Everyone thought he was guilty. I was kind of toying with voting not guilty just to show the prosecutor that she really needed to do a better job, but obviously that wouldn't have been right.

We turned in our verdict and it was read in the courtroom. They had ordered lunch for us, which was going to arrive at 1 PM, but we were done around 12:15, so some of us left. We would have been required to sit in the jury room until it got there and would not have been allowed to leave until everyone finished eating. Thanks, but no thanks.

All in all it was a very interesting experience. I really enjoyed the short days. Most times we were in by 10 and out by 3 with anywhere between an hour and 2 hours for lunch. I'm sure that each case is different, but it was amazing to see how a seemingly simple case can have so many different facets to it and so many points where it can turn. If the defense had been able to discredit a couple of the cops, we would have had to disregard their testimony and because of the prosecution's overall poor performance, find the guy not guilty.

It's a very interesting system in that even if you KNOW the guy did it, you have to follow the letter of the law rather than your feelings. If the evidence isn't there, you can't find him guilty, no matter how much you might want to. Thankfully the prosecutor didn't totally blow it.

Now that it's over, I kind of do miss it. It's a very strange feeling to be the guardian and interpreter of the facts of a case that will decide whether someone goes to jail or is set free. In this situation, we found out after we delivered our verdict that the guy had a previous record anyway, so this wasn't his first offense. But still, to be able to determine the fate of another human being is a big responsibility and it's not something to be taken lightly.

I actually doubted myself a few times during the case, but once I realized that the defense attorney was trying to distract us from the real facts, I didn't let it get to me. He put on a good show, but in the end, he couldn't refute the fact that the guy was simply found behind the wheel of a stolen truck.

One thing that I did find interesting was that the defendant didn't testify. It would have been interesting to hear his side of things, and knowing that the prosecutor was pretty incompetent, he might have been able to create additional doubt in our minds. I'm kind of surprised he didn't take the stand, but the judge instructed us that since you have a right not to testify, you can't hold that against someone. While I didn't, it definitely left out one very important side of the story.

I'll say this much for my jury duty experience: It wasn't quite an episode of Law & Order or Boston Legal, but it was memorable. I am happy though that since I did serve on a trial, I won't have to do it again for 6 years. And this time...I'm KEEPING the paperwork! =)

Until next time!

671: The Difference Between NYY and NYM...

2009-01-12T22:21:00.002-05:00

It's only one letter, but it does make a world of difference...and here's another reason why. This year, the Yankees and the Mets will both open brand new stadiums to replace their existing facilities. The events mark the opportunity for each team to do something different.

The Yankees will be replacing their current building, which is only about 35 years old and is in pretty good shape. Those that say that the building is actually 85 years old are mistaken. The original Yankee Stadium was largely torn down in the mid-70's renovation, so it would be more accurate to say that the building has been STANDING at this site for 85 years. Anyway, the Yankees, always baseballs pioneers, will début one of the most technologically advanced, fan-friendly and expensive stadiums ever built.

The Mets have a much greater opportunity with their new building. Starting as an expansion team in the 1960's, the Mets were at a disadvantage before they even played their first game. They had no history of their own and were replacing two beloved teams, the Dodgers and the Giants, who had fled to the West Coast. They adopted the colors of both teams (blue from the Dodgers and Orange from the Giants) and took the logo from the Giants as their own. They also built one of the ugliest stadiums in the sport in Shea. It remains the last "cookie-cutter" stadium in the league.

The term cookie-cutter stems from the fact that the stadium was built in a generic style. Stadiums of that era had to accommodate baseball and football, so all were the same round shape. So cookie-cutter refers both to the standardization of the design and the physical attributes of the building. But I digress...

First thing, I have no hatred for the Mets. I respect them as an organization and as a rival, but it's hard to stick up for them when they screw things up as frequently as they have. Take the design for their new stadium as an example. Given their biggest and best opportunity to finally establish their own identity after 40+ years in that disaster of a stadium, what do the Mets do? They reach back into ANOTHER team's past and design their building to look like Ebbet's Field...home of the Dodgers when they played in Brooklyn. Great...

Now, with Opening Day just a few months away, both the Yankees and Mets have unveiled new patches that will be worn on their uniforms to celebrate the inaugural season of their gleaming new multi-billion dollar facilities. Here's what the Yankees came up with:

I like it. It's nice, clean and simple. Personally I thought last year's patch for the final year of the old stadium was a bit too complicated. This is just right. Now...that being said...here's what the Mets designed for their new building:

Umm...wow. If the Yankees patch was simple, I don't even know what to call this. First of all, you have no idea of who's stadium it is or what team plays there. The only thing that gives you a clue is the shape of the logo, which is modeled after the stadium's Citi Field signage. One wonder why the Mets decided not to include the stadium's name on their patch...or the team name for that matter. It honestly looks like it took all of 5 minutes to design.

This is just another example of what separates the two teams in reputation and stature. The Yankees obviously have the advantage of being a team with a lot more history, but even taking away the championships, the Yankees have always been a classy organization. They make sure that their history is preserved and celebrated and they do things the right way for their players and fans (minus the ridiculous ticket prices of course).

The Mets have always been the "other" New York team, and part of it is their own fault. They never spent the money that the Yankees did. They poorly maintained a second-class facility that is pretty much falling apart. They developed their own regional sports network several years after the Yankees with a less sophisticated feel. And now, they're blowing another opportunity to step up their game with a REALLY badly designed patch. Do they really think that people will go out and buy that thing? I wouldn't. If it's not on the uniform you have NO clue what it's for.

Oh well. Maybe they'll get the message one day. Just once more for the record, I have NOTHING against the Mets. I was born and raised in the borough where they play and I have been to dozens of games. It's just sad to see an organization that just doesn't get it...especially when they have a very good role model across the river. I can understand them not wanting to mimic the Yankees, but if you want to do your own thing...at least do it well...

If I were the Mets, I'd redesign that thing while they still have time!

That's all for now folks.

Until next time.

670: Happy New Year!!

2009-01-07T22:59:00.002-05:00

So it's 6 days late...whatever = )

I've been trying to come up with something to write here, but nothing has really struck me lately. I went on a couple of great trips over the break, the MTA is probably going to raise fares through the roof, but I just don't seem to have that fire to write a really long rant anymore. One of my New Years resolutions was to try to take a page from the AA handbook and accept the things that I cannot change. In other words...stop bitching so much.

I have noticed that I can portray myself as a rather negative person, but that's not really how I am on the inside. I'm really a very hopeful and positive person. The problem is, I tend to reach for the stars and I get disappointed very easily. I am an idealist and I always see things the way I think they should be. When something doesn't match my view, I tend to get upset and, well, bitch.

I just see so many things that are wrong that I get overwhelmed sometimes. I've written about this before. How I've thought about moving to another, less cutthroat city. Everything in New York tends to be a little bit harder. Working, dating, living, it's all more of a challenge here. Part of me likes that. If things are too easy, I get bored. If things are too hard though, I get depressed. Occasionally I do find that happy medium, and I'm...well...happy. Any time I go to another city and I compare it to New York, it just doesn't stack up.

There are days when you feel like you're being eaten alive, then there are those when you think that you're conquering the world. You just have to roll with everything. I tend to be a very impatient person, so I kind of make things worse for myself. I've always been the type that needs instant gratification. If I want to buy something, I will pick it up and lug it home so I don't have to wait the day or two it will take to deliver it. If I can't find it, I get frustrated.

I may get pissed, frustrated or bitchy, but I very rarely get truly angry. If I do, it's not a pleasant thing to behold. A couple of my friends have seen me really mad, and they've told me I'm not the same person. Once you get me to the point of being mad at you, it's pretty hard for me to forgive or forget. I tend to hold a lot of grudges...and it takes me a long time to get over them. I will always give someone the benefit of the doubt, until they give me reason to think otherwise.

Hm...I have absolutely no idea where I was going with all of this. I guess I kind of wanted to explain my state of mind. Just sort of confused and thinking about a lot of things all at once. I call it the tornado. Comes up randomly and you never know where it's going to hit. When it does, it sort of throws you for a loop.

Anyway, thanks for reading! Hopefully my next entry will contain something with a bit more substance = )

Until next time!

669: End of an Era

2008-12-15T13:39:00.002-05:00

So it's been a week since the Boston Legal finale aired on ABC. I have to say, I loved it. It had everything that made the show great over these past 4.5 years. What other show could make a marriage between two straight men seem believable? =) It also left things open for the characters to appear elsewhere, which I hope that some of them do. It was really unfortunate that ABC gave this show the "Futurama" treatment...not promoting it at all, then wondering why the ratings weren't very good.

When a show ends prematurely, it always leaves the audience wondering...which would be better...letting it run a full 7-8 year course and slowly lose its magic, or end it when it's on top of its game and go out leaving people wanting more? Obviously from a selfish fan's standpoint, I'd rather have it go longer, but I can see the reasoning behind wanting it to go out on top. That's what happening with Battlestar Galactica this January.

The producers made a conscious decision to end the show after 4 seasons. They felt that they had told the story that they had set out to tell, and now it's time to bring it to a close. Again, as a fan I am pissed off, but I really am looking forward to seeing what they come up with.

Overall though, I do believe that this is something of an end of an era in television. Ten or fifteen years ago, shows like Boston Legal, Futurama and Battlestar Galactica would have run for 7 years without question. Networks would snap them up and make them part of their big prime time lineups. The problem with television now is that everyone thinks that people want to see reality TV. I for one am completely sick of seeing all of these model, dance and fashion shows. I even took Top Chef off of my DVR because it has just gotten boring.

There is no substitute for a well-written, well-acted program, and there just aren't enough of them out there these days. Shows that have potential are not given the opportunity to gain an audience. Shows that appeal to the lowest common denominator are all over the place. It just doesn't make sense to me. Have we gotten that dumb that we can't even appreciate a quality program? I guess it's possible.

I could go on about this for hours, but the bottom line is that with every passing season, there is less and less for me to watch on TV, and it's depressing. I used to videotape my shows and watch them until the tapes fell apart. Now I'm lucky to find one program that I can tolerate each season. That's why now I mainly stick to the Food Network and my DVDs. At least they haven't disappointed me yet. =)

So that's all for today. I bid Boston Legal a very very fond farewell. It was a great run, and I will be purchasing the DVDs at some point to look back on it. In a few months I will bid another fond farewell to my beloved Battlestar Galactica. I can't wait to see how that ends...it should be a wild ride. After that, who knows what I'll watch...

Until next time!

667: Oops!

2008-12-07T14:16:00.002-05:00

I realized that I forgot to finish my Montreal story the other day as promised...so here it is. The long-awaited final review of my trip. = )

My favorite part of the trip had to be Saint Hippolyte. The cabin, the lake, the skiing, everything was just perfect. It was out of the way, but we still had access to TV and internet, so I wasn't completely detached from the rest of the world. I was just removed enough to relax and have a great time.

The city of Montreal was nice. That would be the best word I could use for it. It wasn't really anything special...just kind of another city. It didn't really have any landmarks like The Empire State Building, Big Ben or even the CN Tower in neighboring Toronto. It was just kind of there...which was fine. As you read and saw, there were a lot of stores, but a lot of them were either American, or variations on American. Overall it was an ok city. The bar scene was pretty terrible and the subway system shut down at 1 AM, so I wasn't altogether pleased about that, but hey, it was something different and I was grateful for the opportunity to experience it.

One thing that I noticed, but probably shouldn't have been surprised about was the lack of diversity in the city. It was probably about 80-90% white. Now, I'm sure that's kind of the norm in Canada, and in the rest of the US as well if you leave a major metropolitan area, but for someone who grew up in New York, it was a little disturbing.

I'm used to seeing whites, blacks, latinos, asians and just about any other group that exists milling around the city. To be in the middle of White Bread, Canada, was weird. I prefer diversity, and I actually turned down a chance to go to Syracuse University because I wasn't comfortable being among only white people. On my campus tour, the only non-whites I saw were the members of the basketball team. So you see, I definitely would rather be part of a mixed bunch.

The other thing I found amazing was that people in Montreal, and in Quebec in general, don't consider themselves part of the rest of Canada. We went into a store and were talking to one of the salespeople, and he apologized for his English, saying that he was sorry because he is French. We told him that his English was better than a lot of Americans and asked him what part of France he came from. He told us that he was born here, so we said "Oh, so you're Canadian". He corrected us, again affirming his...Frenchitude. So we asked if his family was French, and he said they were born here as well.

He explained to us that he considers himself from Quebec, NOT Canada, and that the two are very different things that should NEVER be confused. The way I interpreted it, calling someone from Quebec a Canadian would be the equivalent of calling someone from New Yorker a Bostonian...not something you would do if you valued your life...especially during baseball season. =)

I did a little research and found out that indeed, the major political party in Quebec, the Parti Québécois, has advocated for separation of the province from the rest of Canada for the last 35 years...but they haven't quite been able to get the votes. I've never really heard of one part of a country so anxious to get out of the whole...well...not since the Civil War anyway.

So that's basically my summary of the trip. I had a great time with my friends, relaxed and didn't empty my bank account. I would love to go back to Saint Hippolyte to do some more skiing and see the resort again, but Montreal I could take or leave. It was nice to see it, but there really wouldn't be anything to draw me back in.

In my next entry, I will discuss the ending of one of my favorite tv shows of all time...Boston Legal. Stay tuned!!

Until next time.

666: The rest of the trip!

2008-12-01T12:03:00.002-05:00

Since we were so busy, I didn't really have time to post the rest of the pics, so here they are!

Thanksgiving in Saint-Hippolyte

What the hell? Oh...it's KFC in French!

You'd think gas was cheap...but remember it's 3.8 liters per gallon...

Of course I needed a picture of a Montreal bus

Downtown Montreal

After hearing all about it, I HAD to try a smoked meat sandwich. I went to Dunn's, which is like Montreal's version of the Carnegie Deli. The sandwich is sort of like corned beef and pastrami in one. Not too bad!

Subway Sign

Subway Map

It's so clean! No river of muck, no rats, no rust...Amazing!

Olympic Park, former home of the Montreal Expos

Parking Meter

Pay Phone

Montreal's version of CVS

Church

The Bay...Montreal's Macy's

The Village...Note the flags. They're not shy here!

Hehehe

I thought this was funny

Montreal Biodome...sort of like the Museum of Natural History

Smile for the camera

Poisonous frogs...cute!

Fish

A souvenir coin machine that asked people to use American pennies only...weird!

Olympic Tower

Our ride up to the top

Here we go!

Enterprise-E saucer section, or Olympic Park roof?

Soviet-looking park

Taking in the view

Arts Center

Chinatown

Hmm...not sure what this was...but it was nice

There weren't a whole lot of these flying around Montreal...

Part of the Underground City

More downtown

That's all folks!

My thoughts on the trip will come tomorrow!

Until next time

665: Montreal Day 2

2008-11-26T20:20:00.002-05:00

If you're reading this, then you probably don't have to guess that I've made it through my skiing adventure alive! =)

We had an incredible time. Les, Nick and I attempted to find the ski resort using directions that I got from Google, and failed miserably. What should have been a 20 minute drive turned into about an hour. We were getting very frustrated, but again wound up in a quaint little town and pulled into a store to ask for directions. Pointed in the correct direction, we made it to the resort in about 15 minutes.

Once we got there, Nick took up residence in the lodge and read his book while Les and I went searching for the ticket booth and the ski rental area. Nick figured that one of us should remain uninjured to drive for the rest of the trip, and he nominated himself. After getting stuck behind a family of 7 attempting to rent skis, we got ours.

We had the option of buying a private lesson, but Les and I figured that an instructor couldn't really teach us anything that we wouldn't learn by just going down the slope ourselves, so we passed. We had already spent $60-something on skis and a lift passes, so another $30 for a 30-minute lesson seemed pointless.

Once we were all set up, we boarded the ski lift, which reminded me a little bit of the first part of a roller coaster ride...you know...the nauseatingly slow climb to the top? Except this time there was no horribly fast drop at the end. There WERE menacingly steep hills and LOTS of people that seemed much more comfortable barreling down them on small planks of plastic than us.

It took Les and I about 10 minutes to figure out how to navigate the flat portion of the course that led from the lift to the hills. At that point, we knew we were in for a rough day. We had a choice of easy, medium or hard trails, so of course we decided to hit the baby slope.

Once we stumbled over there, we had to figure out how to start ourselves out slowly...which we realized was impossible. We just had to go for it. We fell about 5 times before we made it down the first hill. After a while we went from having fun to just wanting to get down the damn hill. On one particularly nasty fall, I think I flipped head over heels. I lost BOTH of my skiis AND my hat. Thankfully though that was the worst of it.

We FINALLY made it down the hill and checked the clock to see how long it took us. It had to have been a while, because we saw the same people passing us again and again. We were amazed to discover that it took us an HOUR AND A HALF to go down something that really shouldn't have taken more than 10 minutes.

Standing at the base of the slope, we were wondering if it was worth another try since we did so poorly on our first attempt. We decided that we'd give it another go, and we did MUCH better. It only took us 30 minutes to make it down the second time, and since we both finished strong, falling less than 5 times, we made a THIRD attempt.

The last time was the most fun, since Les and I had figured out how to more or less control ourselves. We also knew that it was going to be our last run since it was getting dark and the snow had picked up. I fell three more times, but I made it down the final third of the hill without incident, including a very sharp turn. As I was flying around the curve, I was thinking "I can't believe I'm actually doing this!!".

In physical terms, my left hip hurts like hell since every time I felt like I was going out of control, I sat down, laid back and landed on it. My right forearm is also a bit sore, so I figure I banged it at one point or another too. I also came very close to wrenching my knee and turning my ankle, but thankfully I avoided any serious injuries. I was also so cold after we were done that my lips were a bit blue. Other than that though, I think I came through my first ski adventure pretty well.

I also learned that skiing is just about as much mental as it is physical. The more you do it...the more you learn about what works and what doesn't. If you think you're going to fall, you will. I eventually started to tell myself "you can do this...just stay steady", and it worked. I started to go further between falls, and the ones that I took weren't as bad. You kind of have to ignore the speed and focus on the trail. It was pretty scary at first, but I'm really glad we went. We had an amazing time and it was worth every penny.

Here are some pics from our day:

Ready to go...I think...

At this point we realized we were lost...

But we saw some nice stores

If this is a bar, then it's very unfortunately named...

Even the Chinese places are nice here

Yay! We found it!

Tickets

Funny sign...it means push...which makes it even worse = )

Ready to go!

Up, up and AWAY!

Hm...this is pretty high...

...And we're STILL not at the top

Fall #1

Oye...

About halfway down on our first attempt

We made it!! At the end of our third run

One last fall for good measure on the way to return our skiis

The slopes as the sun goes down

Frost-bitten, but totally excited that I actually made it!

So there you have Montreal Day 2!!

Until next time = )

664: Montreal Day 1

2008-11-26T02:24:00.002-05:00

After a 10 hour drive courtesy of a mini blizzard, we made it to our cabin about 45 miles north of Montreal. The town is called Saint-Hippolyte, and it's REALLY nice. We were a bit exhausted, so we took a nap before going to the local grocery store to pick up a few odds and ends...you know...like food. = ) I was so tired on the way up that I actually looked at a Walmart parking lot and said "Hey, there are a lot of cars there at 2 in the morning", to which Les replied "Jacob, that's a car dealership". As you can see, the trip up was quite amusing.

Here are some pictures from the trek up north and some things I found amusing at the local grocery store:

We've made it past Albany!!

A farm is a farm no matter where you are...

Lovely driving conditions...

Which only got better...

So close...

Getting warmer...

Now all we have to do is deal with is a very surly border guard and we'll be fine!

My first indication that we would have trouble reading some of the local signage...

Oh how I WISH this were in MPH...but it's not...

We made a wrong turn on our way to the cabin...but we did get to see some of the local architecture = )

Clearly the Canadians need to work on their store names...

The big M...Montreal

Roaming on Rogers!

My SECOND indication that we would have trouble deciphering the local signage...

Apparently they do have pictures though to make things easier for us foreigners = )

I guess traffic is traffic no matter what country you're in

We made it!!

Cabins

We have a fireplace...complete with Duraflame logs!

And a kitchen!

Our view

I think these are Chips Ahoy...

Yes, that's milk...in a bag...

This one just speaks for itself...

Hey, let's mix bad American beer and Clamato!! What a great idea! Eww...

Hmm...was the name Raisin Bran already taken?

Les finishing up the trip

Nick taking a well-deserved nap after 8.5 hours of driving

Me looking about as alert as I felt

So that was day 1 of Montreal! Tomorrow we're going to go skiing. It will be my first time, so I'm really excited. This would not be the appropriate time to say "break a leg"...so just wish me luck. = )

Until next time!

663: Tough Times Ahead?

2008-11-19T20:42:00.002-05:00

After all of the good things that have happened lately, I am feeling a little nervous about the future...and yes...I mean my financial future.

I found out recently that contrary to what I was originally told, I will not be getting my review and raise this January. I will actually be getting it in July. Apparently I missed the cutoff for January reviews when I was hired in April, so I will have to wait an additional 6 months. The good news is by that time I'll have worked for the company for a year and will probably be in line for a promotion as well. The bad news is that I will also have to miss out on 6 months of increased pay.

When I look at what's looming in the near future in terms of increases in power bills, health insurance premiums and transit costs, I start to get a bit concerned. Everything is going to go up in 2009 but my salary...at least for the first half of the year. Even in the second half, whatever raise I get will probably only put me back at the level I'm currently at. So...what does one do when faced with this potential challenge?

I'm probably in a better position to manage it than most people my age. I don't have too much debt, I have a nice amount in my savings and checking accounts and I'm paid a decent salary, so I'm sure I can deal with it if I have to. The question is, do I even want to?

I've thought about moving more than once, but then the question turns to, where would I go? I've built a life for myself here in NY. I have my job, my friends and my bowling and softball leagues. I know I could find most of those in another city, but really, what would be the point? I would have to start over from scratch. That prospect isn't entirely appealing, but neither is worrying whether or not my bills will overwhelm my salary.

I'm sure that this is just a function of times being tough all around, but still, it concerns me. I've always been very independent and have never really had to think about money. Everything has always been carefully thought out and planned, but drastic price increases, like the MTA's proposed $1 fare hike to $3 a ride, are things that are out of my control and things once can't anticipate.

What I'm most concerned about is that I'm going to become one of those people that has to live paycheck to paycheck and can't do anything without counting what's in his bank account before he buys a slice of pizza. The worst part of it would be that it wouldn't even be because I was reckless with my spending. It would be because that's just the way things are and I wouldn't have any control over them.

See, if it were MY fault that my finances were shot to hell, I could at least point to that and say "Hey genius, if you didn't spend $1000 a month on useless shit, you wouldn't be in this situation". But the way things are lining up, if there are problems, they won't be my fault. They'll just be a function of my expenses rising faster than my salary.

I guess we'll see what happens, but I am definitely getting a little concerned about the whole thing. I like my life as it is and I'm finally in a place where I can be decently satisfied. I'd like that not to change if at all possible. = ) Maybe Mr. Obama can do something to assuage my fears.

Here's hoping!!

Until next time =)

662: Too Perfect?

2008-11-07T13:59:00.002-05:00

So I've been thinking...why am I not totally satisfied with my Apple computers? Don't get me wrong...they look great, are much more energy-efficient, the graphics are amazing, they are much faster than any PC I've ever had, and nothing ever goes wrong with them...and I think that's the problem!

When I got into the computer game, my very first machine was an Apple. My aunt and uncle gave us their old one when they upgraded to their then state-of-the-art Gateway 2000. Our "new" computer looked something like this:

It only performed the most basic of functions, and any "games" were text-based, but it got me hooked on computers. That led to the purchase of a horror-show of a computer made by Packard Bell.

After trying my best to fix it, I think we wound up returning the piece of crap due to hardware issues. My very first purchase with my own money was the Compaq Presario 5686 with an MV700 monitor that came with removable speakers. It was "just" $2,500 and had a blazing fast 450 MHz Pentium III processor with 96 MB of RAM and Windows ME! Woohoo!

This was the machine that I really learned my stuff on. Since Windows ME was an absolute disaster, I constantly had to reformat, reload and rework everything. It was then that I learned the value of backing up my files as well as the ins and outs of the operating system. I think I eventually downgraded the OS to the moderately more stable Windows 98, but I was drawn even deeper into the world of computers.

Driven by the desire to control my computing experience, I took the plunge and built my next several computers on my own. I figured that way, if something got screwed up, at least I knew who did it. I continued along that path for another few years. I had ignored Apple's advances in computer design because they were extremely pricey and a little too cute for me.

Eventually though, I started to get tired of Windows XP's aging layout and constant "security updates". I switched to Vista, which was an absolute mess. In trying to be more like Apple, Microsoft managed to screw up one of its more decent operating systems. At this point, I opened my mind to new possibilities. Apple had recently shifted its design scheme to include glossy black plastic and aluminum instead of white plastic and various colors, and the cleaner new look appealed to me.

After some serious prodding by my friend Jeffrey, I took the plunge and purchased an iMac, which I was very happy with. I received a Macbook Air as a gift recently as well, and am fairly pleased with it too. As I said at the beginning of the post though, something is keeping me from completely embracing my new toys, and I realized that it was the fact that they don't need me!

You see, in my history with computers, I've always been the repairman. I know their quirks and everything that makes them tick. These Apples are like a mystery. They just...work. No anti-virus issues, no pop-up issues, no crashes, no reformatting...it's just creepy. I haven't had to dig into their guts, so I guess I'm not as intimately familiar with them as I'm used to being. It sounds silly, but it's true. It's a bit disconcerting to know that your computer just works fine without you playing around with it. Oh well. I'm sure I'll get used to it. I still have a Windows laptop laying around in case I want to feel needed. = )

Guess that's all for today.

Until next time!

661: Now THAT'S a mandate!

2008-11-05T10:36:00.002-05:00

Unless you've been hiding under a rock for the last 12 hours or so, you know that Barack Obama has been elected as the 44th President of the United States. The election, which was one of the most interesting in history, was never really a contest. I think the only time McCain was ever ahead was at the very beginning, when he won his first state, giving him 8 electoral votes to Obama's 3. After that, the wheels sort of fell off the Straight Talk Express.

I went to a bar with some friends last night to watch the results come in. It was quite an experience. Every time another state came up blue, the crowd cheered, and there was a LOT of blue. We were all pretty confident once we saw that Obama had a triple-digit electoral vote total before McCain even cracked 50, but I reserved my excitement knowing that Texas and the rest of the Midwest hadn't yet come in.

Once Obama took Virginia and raised his tally to 220, I knew it was over. For some reason, people were still a bit anxious, but I don't think they were looking ahead. California, with its 55 votes, would push him to 275, which would be more than enough to capture the White House. I headed home from the bar at about 10 to watch the results come in on CNN.

Sitting on my couch chatting with some friends online, I watched as the clock ticked down to 11 PM, which was when the polls closed out west. The second the clock hit 11, CNN projected Obama as the winner of the election and upped his electoral vote total from 220 to 297. His margin would widen even further to top 300. There are still some states that haven't been finalized yet, but when all is said and done, Obama could have over 360 votes, making this a landslide not seen since the days of Bill Clinton. I couldn't be happier.

I had almost forgotten what it felt like to have a leader in power that you could actually feel confident in. Obama was poised, calm and collected. He pronounced all of his words properly and didn't make any funny faces...unlike he departing predecessor. After 8 years of stupidity, deception and extremely poor decision-making, I think the country finally realized that it needed change, and that Obama was the man to provide it.

Prior to his campaign, I actually had a decent level of respect for Senator McCain. He had worked in the interest of his country and was well-liked in the Senate by both parties. Once he started up his campaign though, things got ugly. From the moment the photo was snapped of him and Dubya, his campaign was doomed. That was the hook that the Democrats needed to hang their hats on. McCain=Bush. His support of Bush's Iraq policy and his statement that he voted with the president 90% of the time just provided further ammunition.

Things continued to spiral downward for McCain when he was unable to recall how many houses that he owned in a time when the economy was tanking. He also admitted that he didn't have as good a grasp on financial policy as he probably should have. Add to that the fact that he said the fundamentals of the economy were sound as late as mid-September, and Obama had all he needed to paint the man as being totally out of touch with America.

The final nail in the coffin though was Sarah Palin. The woman had absolutely no track record that would give anyone reason to believe she could take over in the event that something happened to McCain. Her odd personality and questionable grasp of politics drove away many moderate Republicans and independent voters. I believe that if McCain had chosen Mitt Romney, the election would have been MUCH closer.

But McCain made his choices, and Obama made his. Obama used grassroots campaigns and media outlets like the internet to energize people with his messages. He came across as someone who really believed in what he wanted to do and had a clear vision of where he wanted to take the country. Most importantly, he maintained his character throughout the campaign. Going back as far as the primaries, many candidates, including Hillary Clinton, were done in by the fact that they changed their personality and message so many times that people didn't really know who they were. Obama was steady, and he was rewarded for it.

This election was so historic that it's hard to process it all. The people of this country elected an African American to the White House for the first time after decades of oppression and prejudice. A record number of young people came out to vote. A record number of people registered and turned out to vote. People finally seem to have woken up and realized that things don't have to be the way that they always were and that change is a good thing.

I'm very excited to see what Obama will bring to Washington. First and foremost, I think he'll restore our reputation in the international community. His presence alone should do that. He's just a much more presidential figure than the lunatic that's currently sitting in the White House. Despite all the optimism though, before he can really launch into his agenda, he has to get things back on track with the economy. I think he can do it, and then we can move towards improving other aspects of our country like health care, education and civil rights. Even if it takes a few years, I think the United States will be far better off in 2012 with Obama steering the ship than McCain. And if he does a good job, we'll hopefully reward him with another 4 years at the helm.

On a sad note though, I saw that the ballot initiative in California to ban gay marriage passed, albeit by a slim margin. I just don't understand why people are so against same-sex marriage. It doesn't hurt anyone and it gives people benefits that they should be entitled to in the first place. What's even more surprising is that California has been performing gay marriages for a while now, and people have seen that there aren't horrible consequences, so I don't get why they want to ban it.

It's very disappointing, but in the end, I feel like the Obama administration will help turn that tide as well. The way I see it, African-Americans have earned this victory. They have waited for a long time and fought very hard to overcome pointless prejudice and ridiculous restrictions placed upon them. Because of the protections won by them against discrimination, gay people enjoy a wide array of rights as a minority group that may not have been possible otherwise.

What I mean to say by all of this is that instead of getting angry, we need to realize that as gay Americans, we have not had to endure the lengthy struggles for equality as some other minority groups. We have also made incredible advances within the last decade or so, and they are continuing. We need to be patient and reasonable. Change doesn't happen overnight, but it does happen, and we need to continue to work to make it happen. I think with Obama coming into the White House, that spirit of change will open up even more opportunities for equality for all people.

So that's that. Overall I am pleased with the direction the country is pointed in. Now all that has to be done is to make it work. No big deal right? = )

Until next time!

660: New Music...Sort Of

2008-10-30T20:44:00.003-04:00

So there are 2 albums that I would like to discuss today. One is brand new, and one is new to me. Let's start with the new one...

I actually stumbled upon this one by chance. I had seen Queen perform with Paul Rodgers in November of 2005 and February of 2006 and loved the shows. They did a mix of Queen music and Paul's stuff, so it was a nice combo. After a very successful world tour, rumors began circulating that they would cement their collaboration by doing a new studio album, which would be the first for Queen since 1995.

Actually, it would be the first since 1991, because 1995's was a bit of a hybrid. It combined a group of 3 songs that Freddie Mercury worked on with the group shortly before his death in 1991 with some reworks of Mercury's previously released solo material and a couple of the band's older, less-polished tracks. It was a great album, but it wasn't really "new".

Anyway, fast forward to the other day when I was watching Saw V. Before the movie started, one of the previews was for Fathom Events. They occasionally air various events in movie theaters around the country. The last one I went to was a showing of a remastered episode of the original Star Trek series. The event that was being promoted that night was an airing of Queen and Paul Rodgers' world tour to promote their new album.

I am buying tickets to the showing tomorrow, and picked up the album yesterday. As for reviews, it's not bad. I obviously had very high expectations, because I know that Queen is capable of, so it was hard to keep my objectivity. I read a couple of reviews as I was listening to it, and one kind of described it perfectly. The person said that it was like a second marriage. Both parties bring something to the table that they were previously known for, but the sum of the parts creates a new entity.

Going into this expecting a traditional Queen album would only lead to disappointment, so I tried to keep an open mind. While not quite as blistering as some of Queen's previous works, I liked quite a few of the tracks, and Paul Rodgers' voice is very strong. Here are some of my favorites:

Cosmos Rockin' is as close to classic Queen as you get, so that was an immediate favorite.

Still Burning is a good song with intelligent lyrics, but the real fun for me was hearing the drum beat to We Will Rock You weaved in. I broke out in a giant smile while listening to it.

We Believe is a little more of a ballad and is focused on world peace. Queen was always a very political band and that's one of the things I loved about them. Musically this track was very catchy as well.

Call Me is just a fun song about love and sex. It's got a bouncy beat and is just a nice light track.

Voodoo is a very 60's inspired track that brings to mind Jimmie Hendrix. Not too bad.

Some Things That Glitter is another ballad-type song that talks about life, learning and letting things go. It's a really moving song that again has very smart lyrics.

C-lebrity is the single from the album and it's the most radio friendly. It talks about what people today do to become celebrities, even if they don't deserve to be, hence the C being separated from the rest of the word (Think D-list).

And finally, Say It's Not True, which was a song performed live for Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday, was re-recorded for this album. It's a song about the HIV epidemic in the world and is a cause that is very close to the band's heart, as Freddie Mercury died of AIDS. It's a very touching and heartfelt song performed by drummer Roger Taylor.

Overall, I would give the album a B+. I would've liked to have seen a bit more rock in it, but the guys put forth their usual smart lyrics and amazing mixes to create a complex, engaging and entertaining album. Paul Rodgers adds a nice new dimension to the group and gives them another strong vocalist. I hope this album does well enough to lead to a second. They are supposed to hit North America in 2009 as part of their world tour, so you know I'll be there!

The next album came out last year. It's by a guy called Mika (pronounced Meeka). I actually first heard his song at a bar and used my iPhone to identify the track. The song was called Love Today and it had a really catchy beat, so I figured I would get the album and see what else he had to offer. I was pleasantly surprised.

Life In Cartoon Motion is a very different animal than Cosmos Rocks. It's a total pop album, but it's not stupid pop. It's another well put together piece that has a lot of catchy tracks. Mika, born Michael Holbrook Penniman is Lebanese, but grew up in London. He's already won several awards in his short career, and I can see why.

Some of my favorite tracks are:

Grace Kelly: A song that talks about being who you are instead of what people think you should be. A particular favorite because as part of his song, he says he "tries a little Freddie", in reference to Freddie Mercury, who he cites as an inspiration. The song actually has several "Queen" moments and it's a total favorite.

Lollipop: Tells us that we should let love come to us instead of searching for it, but does it with a kind of silly fun.

Love Today: The most popular song from the album and from what I can tell, the only one that's gained any traction in the US. It's basically about getting some and it's portrayed again in a lighthearted way.

Billy Brown: An odd song that mostly features the piano. It's about a guy who lives a normal life with a house, wife and kids, then falls in love with another man. Weird, but good.

Big Girl: This song reminded me a lot of Queen's Fat Bottomed Girls. It's basically just a song about how big women are beautiful. I love the execution of it.

Happy Ending: The final track on the album and probably the most serious. It talks about breaking up and not having things wind up as you would have expected them to. One of the lines has the phrase "no hope, no love, no glory, no happy ending". It's one of the more depressing songs on the album, but it's fantastic. A gospel choir comes in at the end and it just finishes the album on a terrific note.

One of the things I loved about this album is that Mika plays the piano. You really don't get that too much today anymore. He also has a very wide vocal range, ranging from his standard singing voice to something that rivals Five For Fighting's "Superman". The album is extremely creative and again, pretty intelligent. Mika has been described as drawing from Elton John, Prince, Robbie Williams and of course, Freddie Mercury. Those are some pretty big comparisons, but I think he definitely lives up to it. The album is very campy, but not silly, and his voice is incredible.

I give this one an A, and I hope Mika has a very long and successful career! I can't wait to hear his new stuff.

So that's all for today. Hope everyone is doing well!

Until next time.

659: Previously on The Life of Jacob...

2008-10-12T15:13:00.003-04:00

Since it's been about a month (I thought it had actually been longer), I figured I would remind you all that I am still alive and remember how to type on a keyboard. = )

It's been an interesting month to say the least. I guess we can start with work. What was an exciting prospect a couple of months ago has since devolved into a flaming train wreck. I have basically been told by my boss that my duties include the following: scheduling meetings, managing the finance spreadsheet and taking care of any other support activities that the team requires. In addition, I am not permitted to mark up comments on job folders nor am I to take on any additional responsibility unless I am asked to. Any information that I require to perform my tasks will be provided to me on a need-to-know basis. Sounds fun right?

So, I've essentially been told that until the powers-that-be decide differently, I am the team's admin. Wrapped within the instructions given to me above is also a ban on...well...learning. You see, generally people learn by doing, and if I am forbidden from doing anything remotely outside of my prescribed duties, I will never advance beyond my current position. The few times that I have tried to help out and take on more responsibility, I have been slapped down by the account lead, saying that it's not my place to be doing work of that nature.

Needless to say, this does not exactly make me gush over the prospect of going into work every day. Add to that a healthy load of backstabbing and some rather large egos, and I think it's safe to say that I now pretty much hate my job. The one thing that gives me some measure of hope is that it's not just me who feels this way. There are several other people on the team from areas outside of account that are rather furious with the way things are being run. Perhaps that will lead to some action being taken. If it doesn't, I may just go back to traffic.

I left Pfizer because of things like this, and I will not stand for it again. I know that no work situation is perfect, but when your senior vice president is seen running through the halls screaming and cursing at the top of her lungs, I think that indicates a need for intervention. I also have some extremely powerful people within the company on my side, so I think things will turn out ok in the end. The problem is dealing with it until a resolution is reached. I will just keep my head down and do as I'm told until something changes.

I would take a more active role, but I can't even trust HR. I went to talk to the HR director about my concerns. He said that he understood and suggested that I talk to the managing director about the possibility of switching teams. Not an hour after that meeting, where I concluded by telling him not to take any further action, I get an email from my manager asking for a 1-1 meeting the next morning. I was promptly asked why I was asking to switch teams. That left me in a bit of a pickle, but I explained that I didn't feel like this was the right place for me and that I felt like I wasn't being trained properly. Since then, people have been making token efforts to show me what to do, but the problem still exists. It's really not a fun place to be right now.

In other news, my love life is also in a bit of disarray. I've been on a few dates, but so far, nothing to write home about. One guy kept asking me if he could come back to my apartment on our first date. Needless to say, there was no second date. Another guy was 30 minute late to our first date. We had a good time, but on our second date, he felt the need to tell me that he wasn't a fan of Black or Chinese people. Seeing as I have many friends of both ethnicities, there was no third date.

Finally, the third guy I went out with was the weirdest of all. He decided that on our first date, he would bring a friend along. At first I thought it was a bit weird, but then I figured that maybe he was nervous or something, so I didn't make a big deal out of it. The next time we went out, he said that he had to go at 930 to a movie with his friends. We were meeting up at 730. At this point, I figured that he wasn't really all that interested. After dinner, we went to a piano bar and he invited his friends to come along. The rest of the night, I was pretty much ignored while he sat and sang showtunes. Again, no third date.

The thing is, I'm definitely in the mood to date around, and I'm not really sure that I want a relationship right now. That being said, I'm sure if I meet someone who's really nice and knocks my socks off, I'll change my mind. I am realizing how hard it is to not only find someone to date, but to maintain a relationship. I have a couple of friends who are going through some hard times in their own love lives, so I just feel kind of blah about the whole thing. I'm scouring the internet searching for potential dates, but I always have in the back of my mind what my mom (and I'm sure every mom) told me about finding someone when you're not looking. Who knows.

In other news, one bright light is my new home entertainment system. I finally decided to take the plunge and bought a 46" Samsung LCD HDTV. I had promised myself that when they became affordable enough and the quality rose to an acceptable level, I would buy one. Well, that day came about a month ago.

I was in Best Buy and I saw this amazing TV. Problem was, it was $2400. I searched online and found that B&H had it for $1800, so I went over there and snapped it up. That was the easy part. When I got home, I realized that the sound on the TV was terrible since the speakers were on the bottom of the set and in the back. So basically the sound was being transmitted everywhere but at ME. I hooked up my Bose computer speakers to it, but I quickly noticed that there was a sync problem between the audio and the video.

I did a bit of research and found out that with larger HDTVs, the sound and video process at different speeds, so that can create a synchronization problem. The solution? An receiver that has a sync function that allows you to match up the audio and video. Of course, that's an extra expense, as are the speakers that go along with it. I purchased a Sony receiver and speakers. I thought I had done a great job because the Sony was very reasonably priced and it had the sync function. I quickly learned however, that all sync functions are NOT created equally.

The Sony had a pre-set sync, which meant that it was only able to delay the audio by 60ms. That helped, but it wasn't the fix I needed. I did some more research and found that Yamaha made a receiver that was only $30 more and allowed the user to program the delay from 0-160ms. I had read somewhere that 100ms was the ideal setting, so I packed up the Sony and lugged it back to B&H to exchange it. The Yamaha worked perfectly, and now all lips are in perfect sync. = )

I had also debated getting a Blu-Ray player, but the $300-$400 price tag irked me a bit. I opted instead for a $70 upconverting DVD player. Basically it takes your regular DVDs and scales up the quality to near-1080p, or full HD. I figured if it didn't work, I would just return it and buy the Blu-Ray. Since I don't watch that many DVDs, and I don't plan on buying Blu-Ray discs for a while, I thought this would be a good solution. Turns out I was right. The picture on all of my old DVDs is beautiful. I don't need a Blu-Ray player at all!

So now I have my Samsung TV, Sony DVD player and speakers all hooked up to my Yamaha receiver. Add in the cable box and I've got 4 remotes. I generally only use 2 at a time, but I'm thinking my next purchase might be one of those programmable all-in-one thingamabobs. Hehe.

That's about all. Consider yourself up to date. = ) Hopefully I can get the next entry in before Thanksgiving, and will have some better news to report!

Until next time!

658: Lost Opportunity

2008-09-11T21:29:00.002-04:00

So today is the 7 year anniversary of 9-11-01. It was filled with the usual speeches and tributes, but something about the way that these ceremonies are handled kind of bothers me.

Everyone talks about heroes and those that gave their lives that day to help and protect the people of the United States. So, why doesn't anyone mention that these people who are supposed to be heroes are still waiting for medical care to be made available to them because the bills funding it are held up in Congress or being challenged by those that would be forced to pay for it? Why doesn't anyone try to get past all of the red tape that has been dogging the construction site for the last 7 years. Does anyone realize that the new tower and memorial plaza should have been mostly FINISHED by now, instead of being holes in the ground with a couple of pieces of steel sticking out of them?

I find it insulting to those who lost their lives and those who are still with us that bureaucratic squabbling has gotten in the way of giving these people what they need and deserve. So, instead of the politicians walking out in their fancy suits with the American flag pins shining off of their lapels and giving pointless speeches, why don't they do something constructive and truly honor these people?

Now, that's by no means saying that we shouldn't continue to pay tribute each year to those who gave their all to lend a hand. Those people deserve to be honored. What I'm proposing is that people get up off of their asses and do something useful the other 364 days of the year when the majority of the population isn't thinking about 9-11. That's when a real difference can be made.

In other news, I've been hearing a lot about the naming rights to the new Giants Stadium. Apparently they're in negotiations with a company called Allianz to be one of the potential buyers. This firm apparently had rather strong Nazi associations in WWII, going as deep as them be the insurer of the concentration camps. A lot of local Jews are up in arms about the possibility that they might actually win the rights and have their name placed on the new building.

I'm not really sure how I feel about this. On the surface of it, I'm inclined to think it's a bad idea from a PR perspective. New York has a LOT of Jews in it, and whether or not they're religious, as soon as they hear the word Nazi associated with anything, it provokes a reaction. Even though 50% of the Giants franchise is owned by the Tisch family, which is Jewish, I feel like they should probably stick with less controversial firms to protect themselves from a potential media disaster.

That being said though, realistically, you're not going to find any long-standing company in Germany that didn't have at least SOME ties to the Nazis. They ran the entire country for quite a number of years...so if companies wanted to stay in business, they worked with them. How many Jews today drive around in BMW and Mercedes Benz cars? You better believe THOSE companies had Nazi ties too since they were very well-known auto makers back then as well. Sometimes I think people argue just to argue.

It also brings to light the idea of prejudice. World War II was 60 years ago. Is it really fair to hold a present-day company responsible for something that happened that long ago? Obviously they no longer have Nazi ties, and I'm sure that the entire board of the company that ran it back then is LONG dead. The company also sponsors some events here in the US already and was in existence about 40 years before the Nazis took over Germany, so I think this reaction is a bit overblown.

Again, with all that being said, to avoid media issues, it's probably best for the Giants to seek a less controversial partner to purchase the naming rights to their new stadium.

That's all for today.

Until next time!

657: Eureka!!

2008-09-08T22:17:00.002-04:00

I saw Batman the other day...which was AMAZING. About halfway through, I noticed that the Joker had a very familiar sound to his voice. I couldn't place it. It had a bit of a whine to it that I had most definitely heard before. I spent most of the night thinking about it, struggling to come up with the right name. Then, at about 4 PM this afternoon it hit me...the Joker sounded like...

AL FRANKEN

Boy was I relieved! That would've bothered me forever!

That is all = )

Until next time.

656: Bleh

2008-09-07T22:49:00.003-04:00

That about sums up how I feel. I'm kind of stuck in the mud in my head and I'm not quite sure how to get out.

I've been keeping myself pretty busy with friends and work and things that need to be done around the house, but I definitely do feel this empty pit inside of me...and it seems to be getting worse.

For example, yesterday kind of just punched me in the face. I went to Marshal's birthday party, which was comprised of 2 married couples, 1 lesbian couple that's been living together for a year (essentially married), Marshal and Sheetal, who have been going out for 2 years, Ben, whose wife stayed home, and me. Not exactly the best place for someone feeling a tad lonely to be.

After that, I went out with Les, Nick and their friend Jason who is visiting from Pittsburgh. We went to Gym Bar, G Lounge, XES, Therapy, Vlada and Posh. It was a bit of a whirlwind tour. I only had 2 drinks the entire night since I didn't want to get drunk and feel even worse. I hadn't been out in a while, so I was kind of excited to get back out and see what I had been missing.

As it turned out, I had a somewhat skewed view of what I remember the gay bar scene being. I remembered it being fun and flighty. You hugged the guy you were with, and kind of just glanced around to admire the rest of the eye candy. Sometimes you traded looks with people and you got a nice confidence boost. Totally harmless fun.

I guess the phrase that changed the entire experience is "guy you were with". When you're out with your significant other, it really changes the tone of the evening. You're not at these places to look for people. You're there to have fun, drink and maybe grope each other a little.

But when you're there solo, it's a totally different experience. People glare at you. They size you up. They judge you. You feel like a piece of meat. By the end of the night, you kind of feel a bit raw. Yeah, there are really hot people there, but you know that they're not looking for anything more than a romp in the bathroom before they move onto the next choice cut that walks by.

Being single has left me feeling a bit empty. I miss a lot of things about a relationship, and the longer I'm not with anyone, the more I realize how hard it is to not only find someone to be with, but to find someone that you can truly enjoy being with. Everyone that I talk to who isn't from the area says "How can you still be single if you don't want to be? There are thousands of people to choose from".

What they don't realize is, that's the problem. When there's THAT big of a pool, it's hard to pluck out the one that you want. And even if you do manage to find someone you like, who is to say they'll feel the same way? It's a tough situation, and I find myself kind of sinking so far. I've lost a bit of my confidence and I'm kind of obsessing over how I look. I'm sure I will pull out of it, but it's kind of a blah time right now. I'm actually looking forward to working overtime so I don't have to deal with these thoughts all the time.

I kind of feel myself slipping back into my old habits. When I get depressed, I tend to become enamored with my sci-fi stuff. I get totally engrossed in a show and really feel for the characters. I kind of make it important to me what happens to them. I used to fall back onto Star Trek, but since I've seen all of those episodes 100 times, I've lately been watching more Battlestar Galactica. Since it's quite a bit more dramatic, it gives me more to focus on. I know it's not the best thing to do, but it gives me something else to think about.

Sorry I couldn't write anything more cheerful...just not in the mood right now and I really felt the need to write SOMETHING.

Stay tuned.

Until next time.

655: Family

2008-08-31T21:04:00.003-04:00

Every once in a while, when you think things are really shitty or you're really frustrated, you have a day that makes you forget all about it. Today was that day for me. My cousins Jeff and Brian came in from Tampa and Arizona with their wives and kids for Labor Day weekend. My parents and I went into the city to my aunt and uncle's place to visit and had a ball. They grow up so fast, and since they only come in a few times a year, it's always an event. I left feeling totally relaxed and rejuvenated. Here are some pictures:

Me, Rachael, Lincoln, Johnathan and Ethan

Cousin Jeff, Me, Cousin Brian and my Dad...this is like the ONLY time I'm the shortest one in the picture!

Me and Cousin Chris (Jeff's wife)

Everyone's looking at the wrong camera of course...Cousin Keri (Brian's wife), Brian and Aunt Lyn)

Jonathan was misbehaving...

Mr. Lincoln...cutest baby ever!

Dad and his boys

The Schulmans Part 1

The Schulmans Part 2

Great Aunt Helene (AKA my mom)

Grandpa (AKA Uncle Stu)

I just work here...

How many guys does it take to fix a computer?

Group Shot

So as you can see...all in all it was a very nice day!

Until next time!

654: I Hate Politics

2008-08-28T16:49:00.002-04:00

So here we are, a few days shy of it being 2 months before the 2008 presidential election...a contest that will decide the future of our nation for the next 4 years. What have we learned about the 2 candidates? Surprisingly little actually, and that's what is ticking me off.

The campaigning for this election pretty much started last year with a crowded field of men and women that basically pointed fingers and assassinated characters until it was whittled down to a scant few. On the Democrat side, we had Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. On the Republican side, John McCain pretty much ran away with the nomination.

Clinton and Obama traded barbs and outright insults until the final weeks of the primary season. Even when it was clear that Clinton was no longer the people's choice to become their party's candidate, she refused to surrender the spotlight and get on the Obama train, causing strife within a party that has been known to have trouble unifying itself over the last decade or so.

Now that the nomination races are over, it's time to officially begin campaigning, but like I said...the thing that really ticks me off is that there are about 60 days left before we need to choose our nation's leader, and we know NOTHING about either of the men running. What have we learned over the last year? Even with the media's nauseatingly non-stop coverage, all I've personally been able to glean from the reports is that John McCain is so rich that he has no idea how many houses that he owns and Barack Obama once attended a church led by a pastor who has some...questionable ideals to say the least.

You would think that either of these men, who were their party's presumptive nominees for the last couple of months, would have begun rolling out their strategies for changing the direction that this country was taken in by 8 years of incompetent leadership under George Bush. That would be the logical thing to do. But neither of these men seem to be very forthcoming. Hell, they were both too scared to announce their running mates!

That is something I've never seen before, and it just added to my frustration. It started when both campaigns said that they were vetting lists for potential running mates, but wouldn't say who those lists included. That's ok I guess, since they didn't want the speculation to start. Obviously it did anyway, but once both candidates made their picks, they decided to keep them a secret.

It was almost like a surprise party. You know what you're getting the person, but you have to keep it a secret until the big day. After that, the campaigns were trying to decide who should go first. It was all VERY childish if you ask me. Would it matter who Obama chose if McCain identified his running mate first? And would McCain decide to pick someone else if Obama let his running mate be known first? I highly doubt it.

This whole thing is about media attention and trying to tightly control everything until the last possible moment. But you know what, that doesn't work in this situation. People need information so that they can make an informed decision about who will hold what is essentially the world's most powerful office for the next 4 years.

There are huge issues that need to be tackled. First and foremost, the economy and health care. After that the Iraq war and the situations in North Korea, Iran and the Middle East. I personally would like to know what these men plan to do about all of these challenges. Rather than poking at each other with sticks like children in the schoolyard and trying to outdo each other, they should be focusing on the issues.

But then again, presidential campaigns of the last 20 years or so have rarely been about issues. They're about who can say enough bad shit about their opponent to get the American people to turn on them. They're about who can put on the best show in front of the camera. They're NOT about who is the best person to lead the country anymore, and that's really unfortunate and disturbing.

I plan to cast my vote on Election Day, and by then, I really hope that I know enough about who I'm voting for to make it worthwhile. If I don't...I will simply stay home. I will not cast a vote for an image. I want to know what this man will do for my country and myself to make him deserve my vote.

Guess we'll see how that works out. = )

Until next time!

653: Contact

2008-08-24T22:03:00.002-04:00

So I was sitting at home last night pondering my social life. Actually, that's the diplomatic way of putting it. I was pretty much depressed. Why? Because I tend to have very high expectations of people and I get let down very easily.

First, I had an amazing time at my softball coach's end of the season party, so I had no real reason to experience the feelings that were running through me. We ate, drank, played volleyball and just had a lot of fun. Maybe all of that interaction was what triggered it. I don't know.

Basically, I just started getting anxious and depressed about how I spend my free time. You see, since I was little, I've always been the one that has had to ask people to make plans. I was the typical fat kid, and nobody really called me to do anything, so I either called them and bugged them, or I sat at home playing Nintendo and eating Doritos.

I also had friends who used to tell me things like "I was just about to call so and so, and if he's busy, then we can do something". Not the best thing for a chubby, socially awkward kid to hear. Hell, that's not fun for anyone to hear. It definitely had an effect on me.

As I grew up, I became really afraid that if people didn't call me, they didn't like me. It's a very hard feeling to shake, especially when people don't call. I've always had a lot of acquaintances. I make friends pretty easily at work and at events that I attend. I'm easy to talk to, and I'd like to think that I can be fairly amusing, so when I meet a group of people and we end the evening with "let's get together again", I expect that it will happen.

When someone says something like that to me, I try my best to make sure that I follow up. I either IM or call and try to establish a friendship. When that favor isn't returned though, I tend to get frustrated. I've had it happen many times where I've said "let me know what you're up to" and people say they will, but they never do. Eventually it kind of makes you feel like your not very well-liked.

So on Saturday night, I just kind of sat back and took stock of things. I know that the "we should do this again sometime" response is fairly standard, but I take it seriously. I go over things in my head and I wonder if I said something or acted a certain way that makes people not want to pursue plans with me. And I'm not even talking about on a relationship level.

Part of my whole little episode was probably caused by the fact that this party marked the end of the softball season. Softball was kind of what got me through the last few months and took some of the edge off of being lonely and single. It gave me something to focus on and filled up my Thursday and Saturday social calendars. Now I'm kind of staring at the abyss of the rest of the year and wondering what I'm going to do.

When I broke up with Ben, I lost a large chunk of my social life. We did a lot of stuff with his friends, and now that we're not together anymore, I obviously don't see them, so that leaves me with a lot of free time. Softball helped plug that hole, as I'm sure bowling will in the next few weeks, but I just had this feeling that things were going back to the way they were when I was little, where if I didn't call anyone, nobody would call me.

I guess I've been having a little self-esteem crisis. Hell, not guess, I AM having a self-esteem crisis. I'm trying to become a bit more active in the dating world, but I've run into quite a few dead ends already. I know it takes time and effort and all, but the initial results are kind of discouraging. I feel like I have a lot to offer my potential significant other, but all a lot of people want is a quick romp in the hay.

I'd like to get out more to bars and clubs, but most of my friends are couples, whether they're gay or straight, so they don't go out a whole lot. I'm hoping that this bowling league I joined with my friend Jeffrey helps me meet some new people.

Now I'm not at all crapping on any of the friends or acquaintances that I have right now. I enjoy seeing everyone and I always have a great time with them. I'm not writing this to make people feel sorry for me either. I'm a big boy and I can handle things. I will do my best to keep my chin up and I'll get over this. If I'm lonely for a little while, it will help me build up my character and become a stronger person.

Meanwhile, after all of my thinking and stressing, Les texted me this morning and asked me to come to brunch. It made me feel like I was being overly dramatic last night. While I do still feel as if the majority of plans are initiated by me, I guess there is some hope after all. = )

Until next time.

652: BSG vs. ST

2008-08-20T20:55:00.004-04:00

I got about halfway through my first draft of this entry and I realized that it's nearly impossible to compare these shows. Why? Read on...

First, they come from two extremely different places. Star Trek is a more utopian franchise. It's based off of the fact that humanity has managed to overcome its internal conflicts and now seeks to enlighten itself through the exploration of the galaxy. Battlestar Galactica is far more apocalyptic. It's about a group of humans on the run from robots (Cylons) bent on annihilating them.

The human race isn't even the same. Star Trek's humans come from Earth. Battlestar Galactica's humans come from a planet called Kobol. This planet was abandoned 2,000 years ago and the humans now live on what they call the 12 Colonies of Man. These colonies are all named after a sign in the zodiac, but with a bit of modification. For example, Capricorn becomes the planet Caprica. Taurus becomes Tauron, etc.

Next up, there's the detail factor. Star Trek has always been a nerd's paradise. In addition to the dialogue on-screen, lovingly referred to as technobabble, there have been technical manuals published that detail everything from the location of the warp core to the bathrooms. On Battlestar Galactica, we don't even know where the bridge is on the ship.

Details on BSG seem to be given to us on a need to know basis. For example, on Star Trek, we have detailed knowledge of how a ship travels faster than light. It involves a warp core, dilithium crystals, matter, antimatter, warp coils and plasma conduits.

On BSG, we know that when the commander of a ship gives the order, the ship's FTL drives "spin up" and the ship "jumps" from one place to another. That's it. We don't know how or why. The end result is the same: Both ships travel faster than the speed of light to get where they're going. The way it's portrayed though is very different.

Another difference is that Star Trek is primarily a science fiction show with dramatic elements in it. BSG is a drama with science fiction elements. That small difference sets the tone for each franchise. If you watch a minute or two of each show, it's quite obvious. All you have to do is look around.

The first shot of each show generally features the ship. Star Trek features the "Starfleet Clean" look. Everything is clean, pretty and perfectly organized. There are data pads, touchscreens, turbolifts and transporters. Even the ships' hulls are bright, shiny and smooth. If anything mechanical needs to be reached, it's under a panel that can be opened.

Battlestar Galactica is much grittier. The ship itself looks like an aircraft carrier in space. There are antennae on the hull, you can see battle damage and it has hull plating instead of Star Trek's shields. The hallways again resemble those on an aircraft carrier or battleship. Doors are opened manually and the ships have galleys instead of replicators. If you need to get somewhere, you need to get into a Viper (fighter plane) or a Raptor (heavy shuttlecraft). There's no such thing as a transporter here.

Storytelling is very character-driven on both series, but I feel like BSG does a more solid job. The characters are a lot more real than they are on Star Trek. That's not to say I don't still love watching my favorite Starfleet officers, but the situations that the characters face on BSG make them act much more human.

Officers on Star Trek are generally much more tame and make the decision that works best for everyone. Officers on BSG are faced with much tougher situations and less time to make their decisions. At any given moment, one wrong move can cause the death of the human race, so they can't always be bothered with morality. Kind of makes things a bit more real don't you think?

One thing that I do find odd about BSG is that for all the flying around the galaxy they've been doing, they have yet to encounter a single alien race. On Star Trek, they met up with one in virtually every solar system they warped into.

I assume that this was a conscious decision on the part of the writers and producers, especially since the creative head of the show, Ron Moore, used to work on two Star Trek series. It makes sense too. With all of the drama surrounding humanity's battle with the Cylons, introducing a third element into the show would be way too difficult to do.

I could go on and on about this, but I'm sure you're tired of reading it already. = ) Basically it's the things that are different that I love about each series.

Star Trek satisfies my geek side, teaching me all about the physics of warp drives and phasers. It also indulges my obsessive side by allowing me to research the registry number and class of any vessel seen on screen.

Battlestar Galactica allows me to indulge my curious side. Where is the Cylons' homeworld? What class of ship is the Galactica? What time period does the story take place in? If it's in the future, why do they still use bullets and nuclear weapons? What was life like on the 12 Colonies before they were nuked?

I think each show works perfectly the way it is. Star Trek is so driven by continuity that if it didn't explain everything, the fans would get upset and the story wouldn't have as much meaning. Battlestar is so driven by drama and mystery that the audience doesn't really care how the mechanics of things work, as long as they get going before the Cylon nukes hit.

It's sad that BSG is ending after only 4 seasons, but it was the choice of the creators to finish it while it was still fresh and still of the highest quality. I have to respect that, even if the fan in me is royally pissed. = )

The kid in me will always love the Star Trek series for their hopeful messages, comfortable storytelling and top notch special effects. For the adult in me though that craves something a bit darker and more realistic, Battlestar Galactica hits the spot. It's gritty, it's nasty and it deals with controversial issues. The kick-ass special effects don't hurt either. In other words, I would highly recommend both series. = D

I'm impressed if you stayed to read this all the way to the end. Kudos to you!

Live Long And Prosper
So Say We All

In other words,

Until next time!

651: Cut Off

2008-08-19T16:31:00.002-04:00

Over the weekend I lost my internet connection for about a day. Thanks to the wonderful service of Time Warner Cable, this happens every once in a while. Of course, it's incredibly frustrating. Over the course of that day I had a lot of things to do outside of the apartment, so I didn't really notice it that much, but I did start to think about how dependent we've all become on the web and its convenience in such a short amount of time.

When I was younger, there was no such thing as the internet. God I sound old. Haha. Seriously though, I think we first got AOL dialup in 1996, so I was about 14. Before that, it really was a different world. Take something as simple as buying a movie ticket. In the pre-internet age, if you wanted to go see a movie, you had to buy the paper to check the times. If it was a hot show, you would have to go to the theater twice...once to buy your tickets early in the day, and again to see the movie. Today, you just hop on Fandango or one of the other sites, view the listings of every theater in your area, click the one you want, pay for your tickets and pick them up at the theater. Done.

Research has also changed dramatically. When I had to write a paper for high school, I had to go to the library and either check out or photocopy books to get the information I needed. I then needed to page through them to sort out the relevant facts. If you were lazy and forgot to go to the library, or if it was a popular subject and you didn't get there in time to get your books before someone else did, you were pretty much screwed. I once wrote a biography of Richard Nixon for history class using nothing but the blurbs on the book jacket and what I could find in the encyclopedia. Needless to say, I did not get a good grade. Thankfully the teacher liked me and let me redo the report.

Today, all kids have to do is pop onto an electronic encyclopedia and BAM, it's all right there. I actually liked the fact that I had to look through books when I was younger though. I feel like it better prepared me for college because when I was able to access my information digitally, those skills helped me sort through it more quickly.

I won't even go into the way the internet has changed the business world since we're all familiar with Blackberry Thumb and email addiction. =)

For a little while, I felt myself actually going through a bit of withdrawal. I'm clearly far from an internet addict, but due to the nature of my job, I do spend a good part of my day at work on the computer and I usually have it on at home doing some thing or another. When the ability to do something as simple as popping on to MLB.com to check the baseball score or check email is suddenly taken away, it takes a little minute to get used to. Thankfully I had my iPhone though as my methodone ;)

I kind of laughed at myself, because even though I knew the internet was out, I still wound up opening my browser to check email or go on Wikipedia to look something up. It's similar to what I call the "blackout syndrome". When the power goes out, the lights don't work...obviously. But that doesn't stop people from flicking the switch when they walk into the room or trying to turn on the TV or the radio. It's become a habit, just like surfing the internet.

In just a decade, the net went from being a newfangled novelty to something that we have come to expect will always be there, like running water and electricity. When it's taken away, we have to adjust. It's not always the worst thing to disconnect for a while though. When I found that my internet was out, I took a 12.5 mile bike ride. I gave my mind a break and exercised my body.

So that's my little story for today. My next entry will compare Battlestar Galactica to Star Trek. I know you can't wait =)

Until next time!

650: Stuff that's been ticking me off...

2008-08-12T21:00:00.002-04:00

The title is rather direct, so if you care to read on, you'll get an eye-full of what's been on my mind the last few days. Ready? Here we go...

Aside from the fact that my television viewing is being interrupted by Olympic events like pole vaulting, gymnastics and synchronized diving and the endless recaps of these events, I learned the other day that China hasn't been quite honest with us...what a surprise.

The first item to surface was that some of the spectacular opening fireworks that we saw above the Bird's Nest stadium were faked. According to the Beijing Times, some of the spectacle was actually computer-generated. The reasoning was that due to the city's smog problem, some of the fireworks would not have been able to be viewed clearly. They also felt that it might endanger a helicopter flying near them to film the event.

The next piece of news also revolved around the opening ceremonies. Apparently the little girl who sang "Ode To The Motherland" during the festivities and the girl who was actually on stage were not the same. The reasoning? Little Yang Peiyi, who did the original vocal track, wasn't considered cute enough to be broadcast on global television. She was replaced by Lin Miaoke.

I'm not totally surprised that this happened, since China is trying to put on a huge show and make us forget about all the other shit that goes on within their borders, but I am pretty amazed that they let this information get out. If Communist countries are good at anything, it's keeping secrets. Oh well. Guess it's a sign of the times. Must be all that foreign investment. = )

Moving on but continuing our Olympic theme, does anyone else find it odd that McDonald's and Coca Cola are partners of the Games? This event is supposed to showcase the world's best athletes. It's competition to see who is cream of the crop and has the highest endurance. Kind of odd that a company that makes the Big Mac and Filet O' Fish along with another company that makes tooth-rotting drinks would be allowed to sponsor what is essentially a global fitness contest. But hey, I guess if you dangle your checkbook in front of people, they won't complain.

Next up we have an old familiar friend to bitch about...the MTA. I am getting SO tired of checking my phone every day before I leave for work and seeing that there's another "SERVICE ALERT"...especially on the 7 line. I can't tell you how many times trains have been delayed due to "signal problems".

Two years ago, they took out half of the 7 line for several weeks in the summer to resignal the tracks. Last summer they did the other half. So you tell me my dear reader, if all of the signals on the line are less than 2 years old, why are they still having so many problems? Did they pay 3rd graders to install them? This is the MTA we're talking about, so you never know...

Keeping things in transportation mode, I am debating writing a letter to the TLC about their marvelous drivers. Obviously it's going to be rather negative. I've had a couple of experiences over the last few weeks that have really bothered me. The first one occurred when I was taking a cab to a dinner with our new clients. It was a 10 block ride, but I was running a bit behind schedule, so rather than waiting for the subway or bus and risk being late, I decide to hop a cab. The company was paying for it so I didn't really care.

When I reached my destination, I pulled out my corporate card. The fare was $4.10, which means it was actually only $1.60 since they charge you $2.50 just to get into the fucking car. The driver looked at me and said "Are you fucking kidding me? You're going to pay for a $5 ride with a credit card?" I looked at him and said that I had to because it was for business. I understand that the drivers have to pay a fee for every transaction done with plastic, but the Passengers Bill of Rights clearly states that there is no minimum fare for using a credit card. All that aside, he had absolutely NO right to curse at me.

So I paid my fare and gave him a 90 cent tip, which I thought was more than generous considering how he had just treated me. I later realized that on a $4 ride, 90 cents was almost 20%, so that was WAY more than he deserved. I got out of the cab and slammed the door as hard as I could. I began walking down the street, and noticed that he had stopped right next to me.

At first I was a little nervous, thinking he was going to pull a gun on me or something over the crappy tip I gave him. I was a bit surprised when he yelled at me for slamming his door. I looked right at him and said "Well maybe next time you'll be more polite to your passengers" He said that I gave him a shitty tip and I replied that next time he might not want to curse at his customer. He continued to bitch about his door, so I just turned and walked away. The funny thing was, he actually spoke perfect English, so it wasn't like he was your typical cab driver.

My next adventure was tonight, although it wasn't nearly as bad. I took a cab home from work since I was there past 8 PM. The ride was about $15, so when I got to my apartment, the guy just sat there. I said I was paying with a credit card and he sighed and shook his head with an angry look on his face. I gave him a 20% tip, but wanted to give less. That was the lowest pre-programmed amount, and I didn't feel like doing math in my head. = )

So yeah, these cab drivers need to calm down. I know they're not happy about the credit card readers and the fees, but in reality, cab rides are so fucking expensive that people don't always have cash handy. In addition, they should NOT be taking out their frustrations on their customers. If I'm pissed at my job, I don't show it to the clients. That's unacceptable behavior. We didn't issue the orders to put the machines in their cabs, so they should express their frustrations to the right people.

Also on my list are monopolies. Every time I think of how hard the government tried to break up The Phone Company in the 1980's because they had a monopoly on the market, I laugh. Why? Because it's happening again and nobody is doing anything about it. Granted it's not like it was, where Ma Bell controlled the phone calls of everyone in the country, but we do have many regional monopolies. Take cable TV for instance.

I have hated Time Warner with a passion for years now. Their inconsistent service, high prices and absolutely abysmal customer support have led me to want to cancel my plan with them many times. However, if I do that, I wouldn't be able to watch TV and would have to resort to shitty internet. You see, many people in NYC are in the same boat. Long ago, the cable companies carved out their sections of the city and became entrenched. If you live in Queens or Manhattan, you're pretty much stuck with Time Warner. Parts of the Bronx and Brooklyn only have Cablevision. God help you if you want to change. My building doesn't allow satellite dishes, so I can't even get DirecTV.

That's why the news of Verizon FiOS was uplifting and discouraging at the same time. With word of its arrival, my hopes for cheaper and better service rose. However, they were quickly dashed when the news stories said that it would take up to 10 years to wire the entire city. That means I'm going to be stuck with TW for a while yet. It's pretty unfair. The city should have realized this shit was going on years ago and forced the companies to compete with each other. Is there any fucking reason why I need to pay $127 a month for one cable box, one DVR and high speed internet? If I got FiOS I could get all of that PLUS a land line phone for $99. Just a tad bit unfair don't you think?

And finally, we haven't even reached the conventions yet, and already the political ads are in full swing. By the time we hit November, I think people are going to be so sick of Barack Obama and John McCain that they won't give a shit who wins, as long as the ads stop. Does anyone remember when political campaigns were about convincing people that they were the right ones for the job? Apparently not, because all I've seen have been character assassination ads.

Democrats and Republicans don't like each other. We get it. Why not do something radical and actually talk about what you're going to do to get the average working schmuck out of the mess that Dubya has created for us? Maybe that takes too much thought. Obama is pretty skinny and McCain is older than the hills, so maybe they don't want to strain themselves just yet. Kind of makes sense. Maybe they should wait until they've actually been NOMINATED before they start going after each other.

So yeah...that's my rant for today. Hope you enjoyed it = )

Until next time!

649: Champions!!! Well...Almost

2008-08-10T17:01:00.003-04:00

After being postponed a week due to rain, the softball playoffs started up this weekend. Thankfully, the rain last week allowed me to go to Old Timer's Day at Yankee Stadium AND play in the playoffs. Originally I had planned on skipping the first round to go to the game with my family, but Mother Nature was kind to me and I was able to do both...and boy am I glad that I did!

Due to the rainouts, the league decided to condense the entire playoff bracket into one weekend. This meant that the teams that won would play 3 games on Saturday and at least 2 on Sunday. Normal schedules are usually 2 games tops per weekend.

Since our team was 6-13-1 (every team makes the playoffs before you start wondering), I honestly didn't think we had much of a shot to do anything. I asked my parents to come though since they've never seen us win a game in the 2 years they've been coming and just in case we managed to pull one off, I wanted them to be there.

So there we were, playing our first game at 10:30 in the morning against the Noreasters, a team that we had not had much success against in the past. They always seemed to have a knack for hitting the ball where we weren't. If we moved our guys in, they hit it over our heads. If we pushed them back, they would drop balls between the infielders and outfielders. The closest we got to beating them was when we played them to a 10-10 tie earlier in the season.

Since we had the worst record of all of the teams, we were the away team in all of the games. That meant we got to bat first. We came out really strong, scoring 6 runs in the first inning. I was excited, thinking that my parents would finally get to see us win. My hopes were dashed when we gave up 7 runs in the bottom of the first.

I started to get upset, thinking that this game was going to follow the pattern of all of the other ones that we'd lost this season. Thankfully though, we came back with 2 more runs in the top of the second. That gave us an 8-7 lead, which we never gave up. Through the rest of the game, our pitcher held the Noreasters down, giving up just one run. We piled on a few more of our own and won the game pretty handily.

That in and of itself was a huge accomplishment. We not only overcame a really shitty first inning, but we played well in the field, hit well and didn't crack under pressure. It was our first really good win since we beat the hated Diablitos 21-5 a few weeks back on Staten Island. My parents were thrilled, and so was I.

Having won the first game, we were guaranteed to play 2 more. Since it was a double elimination tournament and there were a maximum of 3 games that you could play that day, we were now in the running to play Sunday if we won 1 more. We would be faced with a very tough task though because our next game was against the first place team, the Ballbreakers.

We weren't totally freaked out though because we had a history with the Ballbreakers. We always managed to play them pretty close, but we would invariably have one bad inning each game that would put it out of reach. We knew though that if we could just tighten up our defense a little bit, we would have a chance.

Our umpire was a bit of an asshole and gave us about 5 minutes between games to get our lineups in order. We knew we would have back to back to back games if we continued to win, but typically you get 15 minutes between each one to rest and get the paperwork in order. This guy must have had a date or something after the games because he was rushing everything.

Once we got started, we seemed to pick up right where we left off against the Noreasters, who were now busy playing the Fusion (who had lost to the Diablitos earlier) to see who would be the first team to be eliminated. We had another 6 run first inning and were playing incredible defense. We had at least 3 1-2-3 innings and what had to have been the play of the year by our left fielder Mike.

A ball was hit pretty high and far, but Mike had it in his sights. We all thought he would catch it like he usually did, but the ball slipped out of his glove. He caught it with his other hand, but it slipped out of there too. He must have bobbled the ball 5 more times before finally snatching it out of the air for the out. The team was hysterical laughing and it was a really great moment for us.

For the next few innings, we rolled. We scored quite a few more runs and wound up going into the last inning with a 12-2 lead. Don't forget, this was the first place team during the regular season. We needed 3 more outs to finish off the game. Of course, nothing is ever as easy as it seems, and things got a bit hairy. The Ballbreakers started getting a few men on base and our lead started to dwindle. After several nerve wracking moments, we finally recorded the third out and sealed the win. We bent a bit, giving up 4 or 5 runs, but we didn't break.

We were absolutely ecstatic. After having such a shitty regular season, we had just beaten 2 very good teams with great defense and timely hitting. Our next challenge was the Diablitos. As you may have read in older posts, the team featured one of our former Falcon teammates who had pretty much lost his mind. I'm not kidding either. He has serious psychological issues and has done everything from calling us racists and pedophiles to writing letters to the head of the league saying that we were cursing at his mother when she came to watch games. Obviously none of it was even remotely true, but the fact that he even thought of those things shows he's a nutjob.

The problem with the Diablitos is that they're a team that shouldn't be in our division. They have players who consistently hit the ball far enough to have it land on another team's infield. They should be at least one division above us, if not two. For whatever reason though, the league hasn't done anything about it, so we're all forced to play them.

Anyway, we lost the game, but we did make it close. Hot and exhausted, we gave it our best. The final score was 13-8 and we had runners on base when the game ended, so we might have been able to get even closer. We finished the day 2-1 and were anxious to find out who we would play on Sunday. We found out that the Noreasters had eliminated the Fusion and the Ballbreakers had then eliminated the Noreasters, so on Sunday morning it would be us and the Ballbreakers again. The winner of that game would then have to beat the Diablitos twice, since they were 2-0, to win the championship.

Not wanting to look too far ahead, we set our sights on the Ballbreakers. We arrived in Red Hook at about 10:30 for our 11:30 game in good spirits. Nobody thought in their wildest dreams that we would have gotten to the semifinals. It was an amazing weekend so far, and if we lost to the Ballbreakers, nobody would be ashamed. That being said, we wanted to at least secure the second place trophy if we could.

We were the away team for the game, which meant that we would bat first. Much like Saturday, we started out strong. We scored 7 runs in the first inning and held the Ballbreakers scoreless for the first few. They managed to scratch a couple of runs across, but our pitcher Scooter really shut them down. Once again our defense was very solid. We kept trying to score runs, but were unable to do so.

Towards the end of the game, we started to get a little concerned. Scoring 7 runs is rarely enough to beat any team, much less a team like the Ballbreakers who have consistently shown that they're very capable of having a big inning. However, it's not impossible. We managed to make our 7 runs stand up and won the game 7-2 to eliminate the Ballbreakers and claim at least second place in the playoffs.

At this point, we were all in disbelief. Not only had we just won 3 of 4 games, but we had knocked out the first place team and had a chance to play for the championship. We were well aware of the daunting task that lay ahead of us, but we were very excited nonetheless.

Of course, the Diablitos played like they were capable of and trounced us 18-4. We were happy that we didn't give up enough runs to have the mercy rule called on us, and to be honest, the score looks worse than it was. We gave up 9 runs in the first inning, then 6 more in the 5th, so other than that, we only gave up 3 more runs. Granted it's still not a pretty box score, but it could have been, and has been, much worse.

So we ended our playoff run with a 3-2 record and a very strong second place finish. Nobody was remotely disappointed. We had a great weekend and really came together as a team. Sometimes you do save your best for last. = )

It was especially satisfying because we knew that we were capable of this level of play. For whatever reason, we just hadn't been able to get it together. After such a lousy season that featured everything from players not bothering to let our manager know if they were coming or not, to a bit of infighting, to some initial tensions over merging two separate teams, I am very glad that we ended things on such a positive note. I can't wait to get the trophy and am definitely looking forward to next year.

Fly High Firebirds!!

Until next time

648: Nichiren Buddhism

2008-07-28T22:28:00.003-04:00

This weekend I attended an introductory Buddhist meeting. I know it sounds strange, but it was actually very interesting. My friend Bonnie, who I used to work with at Pfizer, had been asking me to go for a few months, and I finally had a free Sunday, so I figured I would check it out. Anyone who knows me knows that I am mostly against organized religion, but everything that I've heard about Buddhism gave me the impression that they were different than the norm. I was right to a degree.

The meeting was at one of the members' houses in Bayside, so it wasn't exactly a stretch to get there. Bonnie picked me up and we went. I walked into the house and was greeted by rhythmic chants of "Nam Myoho Renge Kyo". This went on for about 15 minutes. Apparently the goal is to use the chant to clear your mind and focus your prayers and attention. Once that was done, they started talking about the religion and their practices.

I found the whole thing to be fascinating. They believe that people have the power to bring out the good in their lives and the good in others. They don't pray to idols or supreme beings. Most importantly, they acknowledge that bad things do happen to good people and say believe that if you want things to change, you have to change them.

I also liked the fact that the Buddhists don't put everything in the hands of a mysterious higher power. In a lot of other religions, when the going gets tough, people just step away and say "God will handle it". In Buddhism, they believe that YOU must handle it. I like that philosophy. It's much more realistic.

Another positive was that there is no hierarchy in this sect of Buddhism. They have a president of their organization, but that's it. There is no structure like there is in a temple or a church. Everyone is on equal footing regardless of age or status in life. I found that very refreshing.

After I listened to their talks and experiences, I was asked how I felt about being there. I said that it was very interesting because I grew up with a Jewish background and Judaism focuses a lot on the negatives. There are hundreds of laws that must be adhered to and prayers that must be said. If those aren't done, you will be punished by God, or at the very least, not be seen in a very good light. One of the women there agreed with me, saying that was what drove her away from her Christian upbringing.

Despite all of this, it is still an organized religion. They have set group meetings, ask for donations, and don't always agree with the teachings of other sects of Buddhism. It may be a much better alternative to mainstream religion, but it is still religion, and I have some issues with that. I wouldn't be averse to adopting some of their philosophies to make my own life better, but I just have a problem with being led around by a group mind. I prefer to think for myself and do things my own way.

Still, if I had to pick a religion to join, this would probably be at the top of the list. It's the least judgmental, the most welcoming, the most diverse, the most positive and the most modern that I've encountered.

So there ya go. That's my review of Nichiren Buddhism. = )

Until next time!

647: Targeting Gone Mad

2008-07-24T22:01:00.004-04:00

Having worked in the marketing and advertising world for nearly 4 years now, I'm quite familiar with demographics, targets and all that mumbo jumbo. Watching certain channels and commercials though makes me wonder exactly who advertisers think we are and what they're trying to appeal to. Sometimes I think they go way too far.

To be fair, I will use two examples: SpikeTV and Lifetime. Both networks target specific populations. Spike goes after younger men and Lifetime goes after middle-aged women. I happen to watch both. Hold your jabs till the end please. = ) I watch Spike for Star Trek and Lifetime for The Nanny and The Golden Girls. During each hour or so of television, I am exposed to many different ads, and the impressions that I come away with are a bit disturbing.

While watching Spike, I see ads for the following:

1) A college that lets you get your degree in video game design
2) Valtrex (a genital herpes medication)
3) Enzyte & Maxoderm (penis enlargement)

When I change over to Lifetime, this is what I see:

1) Dannon Activia (yogurt for "slow" digestive systems)
2) Boniva & Evista (osteoporosis)
3) Ads for programming involving abused women

When I analyze ads, I generally try to evaluate them from the perspective of someone who has never been to the US before. If someone just hopped off a plane and plunked themselves down in front of these channels, these are the impressions that people would get: Men are video game-obsessed freaks with a raging case of herpes and small penises. Women are fragile-boned creatures who can't take a shit and constantly get beaten up by their boyfriends. Doesn't that paint a lovely picture?

The stereotyping doesn't stop there. Have you listened to a McDonald's commercial within the last 5 years? Every ad...and I mean EVERY ad...is targeted at the "urban" community. And yes, I mean the Black and Latino markets. All I hear now are these two guys chatting about Ronald's latest artery-clogging offering, the Southern Chicken Biscuit. Before that, it was a girl who sounded more like she should be in a 50 Cent video than a commercial pushing the Angus Third-Pounders.

Does anyone remember back in the 80's when they had that whole "Have you had your break today" thing going? There was a group of kids sitting around a table after school, racially mixed if I remember correctly, talking about grades and eating their McDonalds food. Why does everything today have to target a specific group? These ads make it seem like McDonalds is only looking to get Black and Latino people into its restaurants...which I think is irresponsible since some of the poorest neighborhoods in the country with some of the worst health care and highest obesity rates are comprised of these same people.

I would assume everything that goes into the public domain these days has been thoroughly researched and constructed for the highest return on investment, but some of it just makes me sick. We all know that there are companies out there that will sell just about anything, but one ad I saw last night just totally blew me away.

While I was watching an episode of Star Trek that I recorded on my DVR, I noticed a 30 second commercial that prompted me to write this blog. It started out with a guy walking down a flight of stairs with a woman at his side. The guy looked absolutely miserable. At this point, the voiceover said something like "When you just need to get away". A web address then popped up for ashleymadison.com.

Of course I was curious, so I hopped onto my computer and surfed over to the site. What I found amazed me. The site, which I'm sure many of you will visit to satisfy your own curiosity, has a set of lips with a finger in front of them as if saying "Shhh". The tagline is: Life Is Short. Have An Affair.

Now, I can be as dense as a brick at times, but even this sunk in for me. I had happened upon a site that caters to men looking to have extramarital relations. I just sat there for a second pondering this. Obviously men and women have been cheating on each other since the beginning of time, but for some reason a website that actually encouraged it just seemed horribly wrong. They're providing a service that hurts people. It's pretty much Yahoo Personals for cheaters.

Sometimes it gets to be too much. Whether it's a Time Warner commercial modelled after a Reggaeton video or an obviously gay guy talking to random girls about why they LOVE shopping at Lord and Taylor, I feel like the advertising world is becoming way too segmented. Why can't we just have ads that appeal to everyone like we used to? Are they that ineffective that they have to resort to this kind of shit? Maybe so...

This is why I'm glad I got a DVR. I can fast forward through most of this lovely stuff and watch what I want to. Of course, I do see enough to tick me off to the point where I want to write about it. = D But I've vented and I feel better now. Haha.

That's all for now.

Until next time!

646: Congratulations...but you knew that already...

2008-07-19T21:45:00.003-04:00

It's been an interesting week, I'll say that much. It started on Monday when my friend Les started his new job at my company, Area23. I had referred him some time back for a position, and I wasn't really sure it would materialize into anything, but lo and behold, they loved him and gave him a job. I am very happy for him, and for me since I get a $2500 referral bonus. Hehehe.

Anyway, the fun started when our HR guy was walking Les around the office with the two other new hires to introduce them to people. When he got to me, he made a joke about me already knowing Les, and then said to the rest of them, "This is Jacob. Right now, he's one of our traffic managers". At first I didn't think much of it, but the more it rolled around in my head, the more I started to wonder if there was meaning behind his choice of words.

Now, as a bit of background, I had originally applied to this company to be an assistant account executive, but they felt like I needed "agency experience", so they put me in traffic. It had always been my intention to move into account services and I made that clear when I started. The standard waiting period for a promotion is a year, but exceptions can be made around 8 or 9 months if there's a big need within the company. Keep all of this in mind as you read on.

I chose not to ask the HR manager about his choice of words, and went on with my day. The next day, I had to stay late with the rest of the team because my account supervisor needed some documents copied and packed up for a training meeting they had on Wednesday. We were having some issues with the printouts and copiers, so the director of operations stayed to help us. I thought that was very nice of her, since she's one of the top people in the company and could've easily just told us to handle it on our own. Instead, she stayed past 8.

While we were in the copy room, I mentioned to her that I was very happy working at Area23 and I felt like it was a much better environment for me than my last position. She then told me that she was glad I felt that way because there were a couple of possibilities for me within the company, but nothing had been nailed down yet. I was absolutely floored, because as you read above, I was under the distinct impression that you could not be promoted until nearly a year went by. I was perfectly happy to wait and obey policy, but once I heard her talking like that, my curiosity kicked into gear.

I didn't ask too many questions, but I discovered that people had been requesting my services and that discussions were apparently underway regarding a possible move for me. At that point, my anger at having to stay late dissipated rather quickly and changed into anxiety about when I would hear something. As it turned out, I wouldn't have to wait too long.

On Thursday I was walking through the hall when the HR manager asked me if I could give him "30 seconds" to talk. Now, when the HR manager asks to speak with you, it's usually not a good thing. This time though I had an inkling it would be a different story. Since he's a very cool guy, I walked into the office and asked "I'm not being fired am I?" He laughed and I said that whenever HR asks to see you it's usually not good. He replied that when people come into HR, the first thing he asks them is if they're resigning. I thought that was a nice comeback.

Anyway, we sat and talked for a few minutes, and he told me that there was indeed a position open for an assistant account executive on one of the newer brands we had taken on and that the details were being worked out about my move into the role. He also said that they had interviewed and found my replacement for my current position. At this point, my head was sort of spinning. I went from some vague clues about my future to a concrete statement within 48 hours. For my own sanity, I asked him if all this meant that it was a done deal. He laughed and said yes, then shook my hand and congratulated me. He complimented me on the job that I have been doing over the last 3.5 months and said that I earned it. He said details would be given to me as they were made available.

I left the office feeling extremely proud of myself. Within a few months, I had managed to catch the eye of senior management and impress them to the point of wanting to promote me despite the rules saying otherwise. It was a bit easier for them to do it since I had interviewed for an assistant AE position to begin with, but still, I was quite surprised they did it.

Now, keep in mind that I have NEVER been promoted before without leaving the company and taking a better position elsewhere. This is the first time I have actually been moved up internally, and it felt great and weird at the same time. After spending 3 years at Pfizer having people do nothing but criticize my work and tell me that I'm not doing a good enough job, here I am being promoted after 3 months. This went a long way to restoring the confidence that I have in my work and proved to me that as long as I be myself, good things will happen.

The story doesn't end there though. On Friday, one of the managing directors came to me in the hall and congratulated me on my new position. He told me that as soon as he heard that it opened up, I was the only one he thought of to fill it. We kidded around for a minute or two, then he told me that my traffic replacement would be starting on Wednesday, so I basically would be changing positions next week. I thanked him, shook his hand, and went back to my desk.

So yeah...I'd say I had a pretty good week. I'll find out the financial details of my new role this coming week, but I'm not expecting anything since the salary levels overlap for the position I hold now and the one I'm moving to. Can't hurt to ask though. = )

All of this news got me thinking about the journey that got me to this point. It all started with my dad and his idea for me to register with a temp agency...

(Insert wiggly time machine effect here)

After I graduated from college, I worked for an advertising agency called Mindshare for about a year. I was an assistant research analyst and hated every minute of it. I did nothing but data entry and worked with REALLY anti-social people who didn't bother to train me. That, coupled with the fact that my only other work experience had come from being in a place that was extremely unprofessional, and you can imagine the trouble I ran into.

I left Mindshare and went back to Raytel, the unprofessional cardiac monitoring company I worked at during high school and college breaks to bank some spending money. My return was also motivated by cash, as I wanted to start saving up to move out. Eventually though I realized that I needed to get something that was more along the lines of my degree. I started sending out resume after resume, but didn't get much in the way of replies. Then my dad suggested that I sign up with a temp agency.

The idea was that I should sign up, get an assignment, do a really good job and try to get hired. Not a bad idea, but I didn't think very highly of temp agencies for some reason. I don't know why, but I just didn't. One day, I just decided to open up the Yellow Pages and I sent a resume to one of the first agencies that I found...Atrium Staffing. I put in all of my paperwork and was literally contacted the next day to come in for an interview.

After passing all of the Excel, Word and Powerpoint tests with flying colors, I was told that they would call me if something came up. The next day, I was informed that I had been given an assignment as an administrative assistant at Pfizer. At Pfizer, I met my friend Carlo, who introduced me to Les and his friend Alain, who introduced me to Ben. Pretty much everyone I know today outside of softball I know thanks to Carlo...and thanks to Ben, who pushed me to join the Big Apple Softball League, I now have another group of friends...some of whom actually read this! Hi Guys!! Thanks for checking out my blog! = )

And finally, through Pfizer, I met the ad exec who got me an interview at Area23. It's really amazing how things work out in life. It shows you that every single person you meet has an impact on your life in some way, but in the end, you do control your own destiny.

Sometimes I just sit back and think of how my life has changed and how far I've come. I was an introverted, closeted 18 year old boy until my parents found out that I was gay 7 years ago today. Now, I'm a much more extroverted 25 year old with his own apartment, a great job, an amazing group of friends and a new sense of myself that allows me to believe that people like me for who I am and appreciate what I do.

So all in all, I'd say it's been a pretty good week!

Oh, and our softball team won a HUGE game today against one of the best teams in our division by the score of 20-5. They have one of our former players who we despise and they've kicked our asses all season, so this was ESPECIALLY sweet. I helped out with 3 RBIs. = ) We lost the second game to another team, but we won't talk about that one. Hehe.

Hope you all enjoy your weekend. Thanks again to my teammates for reading!

Until next time

645: Taking One For The Team

2008-07-12T19:07:00.002-04:00

This is a phrase normally reserved for a pitcher who is royally fucking up the game, but because the manager doesn't want to use his bullpen, he leaves the guy out there to deal with his own mess. In my case though, I literally gave up about 1/3 of my weekend for my team at work. Here's what happened...

On Friday afternoon, my boss asked me and the other traffic guy Bryant if we minded helping out on the company's new business pitch. We said we would and were informed that we were aiming to get things out of the agency and shipped to Europe at around 9:30 PM. I was a little wary of staying that late, since I have been getting over a cold an have pretty much been running around non-stop every weekend. I had planned on coming home, having dinner and downloading the new iPhone apps. But I also thought that if I stayed, it would get me in good with the higher-ups and that would be remembered when it comes time for promotions and raises. So naturally, I stayed.

Of course, at about 7 PM, the account supervisor comes to us and says that the medical director has decided to add in another 25 slides to the deck that we were waiting for and it would be another hour or two before they were done. She wasn't too happy about that, and neither were we. The thing was finally ready to be seen by the editors at 9, and they finished with it (all 134 pages) at around midnight.

In the meantime, Bryant, Jenny and I were finishing up the gift bags, folders and other minutiae that would be given to the potential clients after the presentation. From what I understand, this is not standard operating procedure. We tend to go above and beyond when we make a new business pitch. I guess that's part of the reason why we're 3 for 3. = )

One of the nice things about staying late is that you get free food. So while edit was doing its thing, we ate and chatted for a little while. It's nice to get to know your coworkers outside of a pure work setting. Again, it also gives you the opportunity to show your knowledge and put yourself out there.

Once edit was finished, Bryant, Jenny and I went to start copying the document. Of course, the copier picked that specific moment to run out of toner. Jenny thought that the toner was in the supply room, which was locked, so we had to scramble to make other arrangements. We called up the binder who we were going to bring the finished copies to later on to see if they could do the printing as well. We had already asked them to stay WAY later than we had planned, so we were a little worried that they would refuse.

Thankfully, the binder said that they would, but they told us that their equipment wasn't all that great, so it may take a while. At this point, it was about 1 in the morning and we were all exhausted, but we didn't have a choice...or so we thought.

After spending about an hour at the binder, who was 4 blocks away, and watching their ancient copying machines overheat and burn the paper, we heard from Cathy, our director of business operations. She told us that we actually did have toner in the office and told us where to find it. After all that...we had it in stock. We had told Jenny to go home for the evening since she is pregnant and has a family of her own to look after, so Bryant and I went back to the office and loaded up the new toner cartridges.

At this point, I was very happy that I had access to the high-end copying machine. They were supposed to have locked it out from anyone but the graphics studio from printing to it, but I somehow maintained my ability to print from it. Cathy was surprised, but at that point, she was just happy we had a way to print the stupid thing. So at 2:30, the Xerox started cranking out the 134 page deck. Of course, there was a snag.

The binder called us and told us that the test copy we had given him was too thick for him to put together with the spiral wires he had in stock. We would have to shrink the deck somehow. We called Cathy again and she told us to print it double-sided. Thankfully the copier was capable of doing that. I timed the printing and it took about 5 minutes for each 67 page deck to blow out of there. Now, seeing that we had 22 decks to run through, we were looking at about 2 hours before we could bring them over.

At 4:30 I hauled the last of the slide decks over to the binder and then went back to the office. We were finally done at 5:15, at which point I called the car service to come pick me up. They said that they no longer accepted the vouchers that Cathy had given us and that they took only credit cards or cash since that was what was listed on our account. I didn't know whether to be furious or laugh, so I just said to cancel the request and I hopped a cab home.

I arrived at my front door at about 6 in the morning thoroughly exhausted. I passed out for about 7 hours, then had to get up and take the train and bus to Randall's Island for softball. I made it with about 5 minutes to spare thanks to the usual incompetence of the MTA. We lost both games, but I got 3 hits including a double and 3 RBIs.

From what I understand, when you put in an insanely long day like we did, the company gives you a day off as compensation. I fully intend to exercise that right at the earliest possible opportunity. If they don't offer it, I'm going to raise hell until they do. = ) I think they will though. Bryant and I performed WELL above and beyond the call of duty on this thing. We better win this fucking account...that's all I have to say!

It was interesting watching how the city changed during my 20 hour work day. In the afternoon and early evening it was full of tourists and businesspeople roaming the streets. As it got later, the crowd turned a bit younger and more trendy, filling up the bistros and cafes along 6th Avenue. When it approached midnight, the streets were packed with drunk guys and girls, both gay and straight since I work on the fringes of Chelsea. Once it hit the wee hours of the morning, it turned into a virtual ghost town. All I saw at that time was the occasional drunk stumbling around looking for a cab. When the sun came up, I decided I had enough of people-watching = )

For as many times as I went up and back to the binder, I only had one odd experience. I was walking down 6th Avenue to 19th street, and this drunk guy looked right at me and yelled "AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!" I continued walking, attempting to ignore his rather odd greeting. I figured I would get a few more stares or comments since I was trolling the streets with a neon orange bag slung on my shoulder packed with papers. I guess people were too busy enjoying their Friday night.

So here I am, exhausted and sweaty from softball. It's been an interesting weekend so far, that's for damn shit sure. I think I'm just going to order dinner from the diner, put on the TV and be a vegetable for the rest of the evening. I would go out, but I think I would collapse after one drink at whatever establishment I graced with my presence. Maybe next week.

That's all for now! Don't you wish you had a fun story like that too? = )

Until next time

644: Interesting...

2008-06-23T22:44:00.002-04:00

It's been exactly one month to the day that I broke up with Ben. This realization struck me earlier in the day in between running like a mad man around the office trying to find missing job folders. I thought back on things, and I am still convinced that I made the right decision.

Has my life changed? Definitely. There are positives and negatives to being single, but I think they're all good experiences that will teach me a lot about myself. I have moments when I'm lonely and others when I feel like I'm perfectly fine. I suppose that's to be expected. Like I said in previous posts, I've never really been in this situation before, so everything is new ground.

I've thought about dating, but I'm just not quite to that point yet. I put up my ads on all the usual sites, and have gotten a few nibbles, but nothing to write home about. You'd be amazed at how many people don't respect the preferences that you post. If I see that I'm way out of bounds for the type that someone is looking for, I don't reply to their ad. It saves them the trouble of getting excited about a reply, then deleting it, and it saves me the trouble of wondering if they're going to reply even though I don't match their criteria.

When I do get a reply to an ad, I feel excited at first. You know..."Yay! Someone is interested in me!" But that kind of turns to trepidation...wondering if they're serious about it, and if they are, do I really want to get into another relationship so soon? I already had one person tell me that they had been single for 2 years and were looking to get back into something. That conversation ended rather quickly.

I guess I'm trying to figure out how to be a casual dater. I've never really done that before. When I go out with someone, I'm evaluating relationship potential. I'm looking long-term and not just thinking about going out this week and seeing how it works out. I need to be more relaxed about things. It will take time, but I think I can do it.

There are times when I get a bit down, as I said above. I come home and think "Hmm...it would be nice to share this with someone". But then I realize that I'm ok on my own. I finally have a job where I'm appreciated and I feel useful. I'm getting paid decently. I have a great apartment in a nice location. My family and friends are always there for me. I have softball to keep me busy a couple of days a week. I don't need to depend on one magic person to make me happy.

I think I'll be fine. As my mom always says, things happen when you least expect them...and she has a frightening tendency to be right about that kind of stuff. Guess we'll see. = )

On a final note, I would like to acknowledge the passing of George Carlin. He was one of my favorite comedians. There was no line that he wouldn't cross and his sarcasm and razor sharp wit blazed a trail for just about any comedian that takes the stage today. Carlin used his words wisely, something that today's entertainers don't always do. I feel privileged to have seen him live in Kingston earlier this year. It's an experience I'll always remember and I put it right up there with seeing Queen live in concert. You'll be missed George. Rest In Peace.

That's all for today folks!

Until next time!

643: Apartment Math

2008-06-03T15:28:00.004-04:00

Now, if you've known me for any amount of time, you'll be aware that math is not one of my favorite things. Sure I can do it, but I'd rather take a hot poker in my eye than sit and do calculus. When a situation arises that impacts me financially though, math becomes an unfortunate necessity. Take my lease for example.

After much anticipation, I received the renewal documents for my apartment from the property management company this past weekend. I quickly perused them to make sure that I wasn't going to go broke by staying put and that my discount was still in effect. Thankfully everything was status quo. I was a bit puzzled though by the offers that they laid out for me. Let's see what you think...

If I sign a 1-year lease, my rent goes up by 3%, or $31.75 a month. If I sign a 2-year though, it goes up 5.75%, or $60.85 a month. This immediately struck me as odd, since I'd be paying almost $30 extra a month during the first year. Here's how I figured things:

Year 1

1-year lease
$31.75 x 12 = $381

2-year lease
$60.85 x 12 = $730.20

So, in the first year of a 2-year lease, I'd be paying an extra $349.20 over what I'd pay if I signed a 1-year.

Now, from what I hear, the rate hike for a 1-year lease next year could be anywhere from 3-5%. Assuming the worst, a 5% hike over the first year will result in my paying another $54.50 a month. That would put my second year totals as follows:

Year 2

2nd 1-year lease
$54.50 x 12 = $654

2nd year of 2-year lease
$60.85 x 12 = $730.20

Now, adding everything up, this is how much more I'll pay over my current rate:

2 1-year leases with a 3% and 5% increase: $381 + $654 = $1035

1 2-year lease with a 5.75% increase: $730.20 + $730.20 = $1460.40

So, as you can see, even if the worst comes to pass and they hike the rate by 5%, I STILL save $425 over the course of 2 years. Kind of makes me wonder why someone would want to sign a 2-year renewal at all. The only way I would actually lose money by not taking the 2-year lease is if the rate goes up by over 8% the second year...which I really doubt it will. That would be an outrageously high increase.

It makes the most sense to go with the 1-year lease. I would've signed the stupid thing today, but I forgot to bring my check with the extra security deposit. D'oh!!

That's all for now. I think my brain fried from all those calculations = D Maybe I should've been an accountant. Hehe.

Until next time!

642: New Beginnings

2008-05-31T15:29:00.002-04:00

Sorry about not writing all that often. It's been a busy few weeks to say the least. Things at work have been crazy, but I'm definitely enjoying the job more than Pfizer. People are nice, they're actually concerned about you, and they make an effort to get to know you as a person.

I've also been busy trying to get things together in my personal life. After giving it about 4 months, I realized that things with Ben just weren't going to work out. There comes a point where you have to be honest with yourself and decide if things are worth continuing, or if they need to stop. Unfortunately I came to the latter conclusion.

I don't want to go into detail for a couple of reasons. First, if you know me, you've heard the story already and I wouldn't want to subject you to it again. If you don't know, I just don't feel like typing it all out again. It's over with and I'm trying to put it behind me.

It's been about a week and I think I'm doing pretty well. I don't really miss him that much, so I think that tells me that I made the right decision. The big adjustment is suddenly having an empty social calendar. Obviously when you get out of a relationship you find yourself with less things to do, but it's something I really haven't experienced.

When I get out of a relationship, I tend to already have someone else in mind that I would like to date. That always made the transition easier...well...in some ways anyway. It prevented the loneliness and lack of things to do, but it also presented a much more emotionally draining set of problems that involved trying to deal with an ex while also trying to establish something new.

This time around I asked myself if I was really ready to be alone. Since there was nobody else I was interested in, if I ended the relationship, I'd really be on my own. I decided that it was the right thing to do, so I went ahead with it. I'm sure in time I'll get used to being single. I have more time to do things like going to the gym and hanging out with my friends. I can sleep later. I can work on my models. All of that.

Maybe it was good that I saw the Sex and the City movie last night. Normally I wouldn't even bother, since I despise Sarah Jessica Parker, but I found that it related to me in some ways. I won't ruin the movie for you, but there were a lot of situations that I found familiar and was glad to see that they're things that everyone goes through.

I know that I'll be fine. This is my first time really being single, and I will not let it get me down. It's going to take time to adapt to this new life, but hey, that's what we do isn't it? The only thing that we can count on in life is change. How we handle it defines who we are.

So that's the update for now.

Hope you're all doing well!

Until next time!

641: Holy Calorie Count Batman!

2008-04-22T10:03:00.002-04:00

Starting this week, some of your favorite New York eateries will be posting the calorie counts next to the items that you purchase and then shove into your face. Lovely imagery right? That's me...descriptive to the point of making you nauseous. = )

Speaking of being nauseated, I have a feeling that may be the reaction of many New Yorkers when they realize that the Cosi Tuna Melt or Chiptole burrito they were planning on eating for lunch packs in over 1,000 calories and god knows how much fat. Or maybe it will set in a bit earlier when they hit up Dunkin Donuts for a 360 calorie glazed disaster and a 400 calorie Frappucino.

Either way, I'm kind of on the fence about this issue. On one hand, I think it's good that we know what we're eating. It will allow us to make healthier food choices if we choose to, and if we don't, we can at least plan the rest of our meals around the bad ones. On the other hand though, I think the way that the city is going about this is stupid.

The current law requires chain restaurants that have 15 or more locations nationwide to post the calorie counts on their menus. To me, this is a tad unfair as it targets large restaurants like McDonalds, Burger King, Wendys, Cosi, Dunkin Donuts, Starbucks, etc. Local places like The Carnegie Deli or Carmine's Restaurant would be exempt from posting, even though their fare can clog your arteries just as easily as a Big Mac.

It also creates a very large loophole for Asian restaurants. Think about it. If you take any 20 block area in the city, you can easily find 10-15 Chinese takeout or Japanese sushi places. But since they're not technically "chains", they don't qualify under the law. This means that people can still go on blindly eating their General Tso's chicken with its 830 calories and 37 grams of fat (and no, that total doesn't include the rice or egg roll). Do you see my point? This really should be an all or nothing situation.

The other thing that I find stupid about this law is that it only applies to New York City...meaning the five boroughs...not just Manhattan! (sorry, NYC in-joke). All you have to do is make a 5 minute trip from Queens into Nassau County or from Manhattan into New Jersey and you can once again be blissfully unaware of what you consume. Once again, New York City attempts do something beneficial, but completely fucks it up. This is just a culinary version of congestion pricing.

In the end, I really don't think it will make that much of a difference in people's daily lives. New Yorkers are pretty set in their ways. If they always get their Starbucks in the morning or eat a Whopper for lunch, they're not going to stop and start ordering salad just because they found out that their favorite sandwich has 680 calories and 40 grams of fat. They will just do an extra few minutes at the gym...or they'll be stupid and say "Hey, if I walk to the restaurant instead of taking the bus, I'll burn some calories".

I also think the restaurants are going to do everything that they can to be as general as possible when posting the required information. If you read back a couple of posts, you can check out my entry on Chipotle where I said that they posted a range of calories for their items instead of specifics. Most places will be able to get away with this, because a plain Old Fashioned burger from Wendys has fewer calories than one with bacon and cheese, and if they listed all of the possible variations on their menu boards, they'd be a mile high. I'm sure they'll just refer people to the nutritional information on their websites if they want specifics.

So basically this is just a bad idea. I'm sure if the restaurants notice a drop in business, they'll sue the city, and they should. The law was already challenged in an appeals court, but it was held up. The chains should be able to claim that the city is discriminating against them, while independent places aren't losing business and their food is just as bad. I guess we'll see what happens when the bottom lines come in.

That's all for now!

Until next time. Enjoy your lunch = )

640: An American Revolution...Not Quite

2008-04-18T09:47:00.002-04:00

In case you haven't seen this vehicle on nearly every billboard around the country, let's make a brief introduction. This is the 2008 Chevy Malibu, and from the way GM has been advertising it, you'd think they had just found the cure for the common cold. Yes, it's a very nice car, but I really don't think it's worth the type of promotion it's getting.

As we all know, American cars have somewhat lagged behind their European and Asian counterparts in terms of quality and design for the last 20 years or so. While companies like Honda and BMW were revolutionizing the industry with innovations in performance, fuel economy and cutting edge design, Detroit was happy to roll out masterpieces like the Ford Taurus and Chevy Cavalier, which remained virtually unchanged for 10 years. Can you smell the progress?

Speaking of smells, the media blitz that Chevrolet is promoting this new car reminds me of a kid standing up and clapping after he takes a shit in the toilet all by himself for the first time. They're patting themselves on the back for doing something that they should have done about a decade ago. In my opinion, Chevrolet should be embarassed that it took so long for them to come up with a car that even remotely compares to the Honda Accord or Toyota Camry.

I also find it a bit arrogant of Chevy to think that people who would normally gravitate towards the established brands will suddenly abandon them just because they've finally made a somewhat decent vehicle. If I were in the market for a car, I would be suspicious. You don't go from building dull pieces of shit to a nice car (and I will admit it is nice) overnight. I would be concerned that it might look pretty, but would still just be another shoddy American car underneath. But that's just me. = )

But then again, Americans tend to respond to the shiny, glitzy, loudest things, so if Chevy keeps promoting the hell out of this new car, they might just be able to turn people. Not me this one though. There's a reason why a 1995 Honda Civic sells for 4 times that of a '95 Chevy Cavalier. Sorry, but that just doesn't change overnight.

Alright. I'm done bashing the American auto industry...so that's all for now.

Until next time!

639: Chipotle is full of shit...

2008-04-10T15:58:00.003-04:00

...well not literally, but I think they are pretty deceptive with regard to their nutrition information.

Les and I had lunch today at the Chipotle on 6th Ave and 22nd Street and we noticed that they had added calorie content to their menu. The Fajita Burrito, which we both got, had a range of 390 - 980 calories. I thought that was pretty good, so I ordered mine with black beans, rice, fajita veggies, guacamole, lettuce and a little sour cream. I was more than satisfied with my meal, but when I got back to my desk, I started to wonder if the menu was accurate. What I saw when I added up the nutritional information for the components of my meal surprised and upset me.

Like most restaurants, Chipotle offers a PDF that has the information for all of the ingredients in their food. They don't have it combined because most people customize their orders, so it makes more sense to leave it to the consumer to add up on their own...and add I did. According to the info on Chipotle's website and the nutrition calculator on Chipotlefan.com, this is what I ate for lunch...

Nutrition Facts

Amount Per Serving
Calories 993
Cal from Fat 376

Total Fat 43g
Saturated Fat 12g
Trans Fat 0g

Cholesterol 40mg
Sodium 3211mg
Total Carbs 121g
Dietary Fiber 26g

Sugars 15g
Protein 27g

Umm...well...thank God there were no trans fats in there...

What happened to the 980 calorie limit? I didn't even add any meat or cheese into it. If I did, I would have easily had a 1200 calorie lunch that more than satisfied my daily requirements for fat. As it is I ate a day and a half worth of sodium. I did get 27 grams of protein though, so that's something.

The problem that I have with the menu is that it's deceptive. By setting a high mark of 980 calories, the chain is duping people into believing that no matter what they put on the burrito, it won't go above that. After talking to Les, I agreed that the range is probably just the most common combinations. However, figuring that out takes some thinking, and most people who are hungry and waiting on line for their food aren't thinking. They're just anxious to get their stuff and eat.

If you look at the individual components of the meal, you can get a 390 calorie burrito, but you'd be paying almost $8 for a tortilla and a small amount of fajita veggies. I can't imagine that would be very satisfying from a financial or gastronomic perspective. What's even more disturbing is that the burrito itself is responsible for 290 of the 390 calories. Ridiculous!

I think that they should put the range as a bare minimum and a reasonable maximum. If you added steak or chicken and cheese to my burrito, which I would imagine is fairly common, you would wind up with something in the neighborhood of 1200 calories. I'm sure the marketing execs consciously avoided that though because anything over 1000 calories just isn't appealing. Knowing that they're consuming half of their day's calories at lunch after most people probably had something like a donut or bagel with cream cheese for breakfast would make them think twice before ordering. If Chipotle is not going to be honest though, they should just take the calorie counts off the menu completely.

Well, I could go on about this for another page or two, but I guess I'll just suck it up, learn for next time and go to the gym. = )

I'm still pretty full too so I can get away with having a light dinner!

Until next time.

638: New Beginnings

2008-04-07T16:02:00.002-04:00

So today is my first day at my new job. Things are a bit slow so I figured I'd write an entry. I'm sure I won't get the chance to do this at work again for a while!

I woke up this morning with that queasy feeling in my stomach that I get when I'm about to start something new. As much as you think you might be ready, a change is still a change. It's something unknown and that makes you anxious. For better or worse, the confines of Pfizer had been my home away from home since November of 2005. That's the longest I've stayed at any job, so this is definitely a major change.

I went to DraftFCB this morning for my orientation. They're our parent company, and I must say, their offices are a bit nicer. Not that these are ugly, but Draft has a lot more wood tones in their space, while Area 23 is more metallic. I guess it sort of made me miss my big wood desk at Pfizer. Oh well. That desk came with WAY too many restrictions. It is a bit odd though that I now have a manager title and I'm in a cube, while at Pfizer I was a coordinator and had an office.

I plopped myself down at my cube and immediately felt overwhelmed by my new surroundings. This isn't a big company...yet...so most of the people know each other. I'm sure I will get to know them too in short order, but for now, I was just walking around trying to find simple things like the water cooler and the bathroom. I'm going to bring some of my desk decor that I took with me from Pfizer to make things feel more familiar. Right now the desk just doesn't feel like mine.

One thing that I was very pleased to note about my new place was that their IT people don't seem to be as psychotic as those at Pfizer. I have access to the entirety of the Internet, which includes things like MySpace, Facebook and web messengers. These were things that Pfizer decided we shouldn't use. The only thing that I am unable to do is to install programs on my computer. That shouldn't pose too much of an issue since I'm happy with my access to SurfTheChannel and other sites that provide entertainment.

I've also learned that I should stay away from pay-by-the-pound buffets. I went to this deli at lunch and got a container to load up with Chinese food. Only after I got to the cashier did I realize that I had sorely miscalculated. My lunch wound up costing me $15 because the buffet was $6.99 per pound! Holy shit! most of it was comprised of this godawful chicken that I didn't even finish, so it was a complete waste of money. I could've gotten an entire pizza for that and had lunch for the next 3 days. Oh well. Live and learn!

Other than that, things have been pretty good. I'll be working with two other traffic managers as well as the director. Once POA is finished, I will be taking over 4 Pfizer drugs: Relpax, Zmax, Estring and Revatio. It's definitely going to be interesting. I won't have any contact with the company, but I still have my knowledge of it, so that should be an asset to the group. The people I work with seem nice, so that's a major plus.

I definitely see myself being able to do a good job here. Like everyone told me, this is a stepping stone to bigger things. I just have to make sure to keep that in mind when things get hectic or frustrating...which I hope they won't be all that often.

On a final note, it's really nice to open up my Outlook calendar and not see 40 meetings staring back at me!

I can't wait to put on my jeans tomorrow!

Until next time.

637: One Pfinal Thing

2008-04-05T10:52:00.004-04:00

So just as I'm getting used to the fact that I'm no longer at Pfizer, I hear my iPhone beep at around 9 PM last night telling me that I have an email. I open it up and it's from...MARGIE. I was a bit curious what it was about, so I opened it up and was presented with the following:

Jacob:

I thought we were meeting at 4pm today to go thru the separation checklist.

Did you do this with Elizabeth already?

Thanks

Margie

My first reaction was to laugh because of the utter absurdity of the entire thing. Here is my former boss...contacting me at 9 PM after my last day...on my personal email account. If that wasn't bad enough, the simple fact that she asked me that question showed me that she didn't look at the request I had sent her to reschedule when she sent out the original meeting invitation on Thursday.

So I decided to reply with one final shot. This is what I said:

Margie,

I declined the meeting invitation on Thursday and asked you to reschedule for later that afternoon or Friday morning. You did not reply. As a result, I completed the checklist with Elizabeth during my exit interview. She has it in her office. Please sign it at your earliest convenience.

I would also ask that you not contact me again at this email address or my other personal accounts. I am no longer a Pfizer colleague and there was ample time to resolve this today while I was in the office. Any further communications will not be responded to.

Thank you.

Jacob

PS...Go fuck yourself.

I really wanted to say something nasty to her, but I figured the best way to nail her to the wall would be to copy HR on my reply...which I did. I don't think I said anything inappropriate at all. I was just a bit cold, which I felt was more than appropriate given the circumstances. Any other emails I get from her will be forwarded to HR as harassment. Hehehe. The lesson here...don't pull any shit with me. You won't get away with it. = D

Until next time!

636: Pfucked Over...Sort Of

2008-04-04T21:27:00.004-04:00

So today was my last day at Pfizer...and it was definitely one to remember. I spent most of the morning training the temp for what will undoubtedly be a very short stay on the Celebrex team. Around 10 AM, the admin asked me if I could go pick up some cupcakes for her at Grand Central. She had left early yesterday because she wasn't feeling well, and still wasn't 100% today, so she asked if I would mind getting them. Of course I said it was no problem since I didn't really care anymore if I finished training the temp or not. I just wanted it to be 1:30 so I could leave. First early Friday of the year and it's my last...hehe.

So I headed over to the Little Pie Company in Grand Central to pick up the cupcakes. Apparently our fearless leader Margie decided to be nice and celebrate the hard work the team has put in over the last month getting things ready for our upcoming sales meetings. This was odd for her, since she never did anything to acknowledge people before. Methinks someone said something to her about it. Gee...I wonder why?

My original intention was to drop off the cupcakes at 1 for the start of the meeting, say my goodbyes, then slip out and head home. Unfortunately, Margie asked us to stay because she would be talking about the team and introducing Loretta, the temp taking over for me. I figured it couldn't do any harm to stay for 15 minutes or so. Boy was I wrong!

I sat quietly as Margie congratulated the team. Then, in a rare moment, she publicly thanked me for the work I've done and said congratulations on my new position. Next up, she passed me a card that the team had signed. I gave it a quick glance, but I didn't notice her signature on it...The card also had nothing in it, which ticked me off a bit, but not as much as what was to come.

After my small moment, she said that she would be handing out STARS to everyone who worked on the projects we had to complete to make this meeting happen on time. I figured that since I didn't get a gift card or anything, I'd get a farewell STAR. In case you haven't read before, STARs are Pfizer's internal reward system. Any time you do something that's considered above and beyond, your manager or others can nominate you for a STAR, which comes with a $100 gift card. So in other words, nice incentive to go the extra mile. Of course, they're sadly under-used, especially on our team.

So Margie goes about reading the accomplishments for each person that have earned them their respective STARs, then gets to Steve. Steve is on assignment with the team from the sales force for a year. The idea is for him to learn about how things work at HQ, then take that knowledge back to the field with him. Since the field has their own reward system, he wasn't in our STARs database. As such, Margie got him a gift card instead. It was for $50, which I thought was a little bit of an insult since as I mentioned, a STAR is worth $100.

After handing Steve his reward, she thanked everyone for their work. I kind of sat there and looked around because I was the only one that didn't get a STAR. Apparently she didn't find my work valuable enough to merit one. I think Steve realized this, because he immediately spoke up and said "I'd also like to thank Jacob for his hard work and help through all of this. He did a really great job".

I thanked him and the team, then used this moment to get a dig in at Margie. I said "Thank you Steve, and thank you everyone. I guess my STAR is in the mail". I looked over at Margie, who didn't make eye contact with me. The vindictive bitch probably still held it against me that I left her team and planned the whole thing. I wasn't about to let her get away with that though. After the meeting turned to less interesting topics, I excused myself saying I had to finish training the temp. I thanked them and said goodbye, then headed up to my office.

A little while later Steve dropped by and closed the door behind him. I thought he was going to say something about my comment in the meeting, but I was quite wrong. He thanked me again for being a huge help and an important part of the team, then handed me the gift card that Margie gave him. I tried to give it back, saying that it was for him, but he wouldn't hear of it. He said that I deserved it and that if I ever needed anything, I should call him or email him. I thanked him and shook his hand. On his way out, he added "Just don't tell anyone where you got it from". I laughed and he closed the door.

I was really stunned. Here was a guy who came onto the team about 3 months ago who thought enough of me to stick up for me in the meeting when Margie clearly ignored me and then went even further by giving me his award. In the field, the sales reps are trained to recognize the contributions of others, and Steve really showed it. It wasn't even about the money. It was about the thought and the loyalty that he showed me. I'll never forget that moment.

I walked out of the building with my head held high and a pocket full of personal phone numbers and emails, knowing that people there did appreciate me, valued my work and wanted to continue their relationships with me. I'm determined not to let one disgusting human being ruin that feeling.

So now I'm officially Pfree. I start my new position on Monday and I'm not looking back. As they love to say at my former employer...I'm moving forward! = )

Until next time.

635: College Is Over

2008-04-01T21:48:00.003-04:00

Many of you may be reading this and thinking you've gone back in time about 4 years. Keep your pants on though, because as my uncle told me, leaving college is more about your self image than a calendar date, and he's right.

When I moved into my apartment, I decided that I would focus on decorating the living room since that's the room people would see and the one I would spend the most time in. It's also the biggest room, so naturally it would require the most work. The kitchen and the bedroom were easy after that since they're pretty tiny and only required the basics. I promised myself that I would get to the bedroom eventually, and I did start by buying a new bed frame and dresser, but that was about as far as I got.

For some reason, I just couldn't take down my postcards, CD covers and posters from the wall. Something was holding me back. Maybe it was the seemingly endless task of decorating and redecorating. Maybe it was the fact that I just didn't think I had enough to cover the walls without going shopping again, which is something I don't do often. Or maybe it was the fact that I just wasn't ready to let go of that dorm room decor.

Whatever it was, that feeling seemed to dissipate over the last couple of weeks. I began to look around the bedroom and see that it looked...well...crappy. I had gotten rid of the elliptical as part of my iMac purchase plan, and all that was occupying the corner was the piece of maroon carpeting and my weights. That entire wall was bare. The wall behind my bed had absolutely nothing on it either, and the wall between the two windows had nothing on it but my Queen poster in a really lousy-looking plastic frame. My main decorations were on the wall in front of the computer, which kind of makes sense since that's the one I stare at most of the time.

So I resolved that last weekend would be my redecorating weekend. Ben and I went to IKEA and I dropped about $375 on new furnishings. We'll do a before and after:

Computer Wall Before (Actually this was right after I moved in. The only thing I really changed was the fact that I removed some CD covers and postcards and replaced them with the hubcap!)

Computer Wall After

Bed Wall Before

Bed Wall After

Elliptical Wall After (Use the Bed Wall for before)

Window Wall After (Just picture a crappy poster frame there before)

And just a little fun section for me by the closet. We can't be too grown up = )

I'm really pleased with the way that it all turned out. I think it's very tasteful and mature, yet not stuffy. For the money I spent, I think I got a great deal. That bookcase was $150 alone, so the rest of it was pretty cheap. I also already had the silver squares from the living room when I first moved in, so that was a nice way to recycle something without having to buy more stuff. Hope you like it as much as I do...and if you don't...screw off it's my room! = )

In other news, I actually realized today that I'm a little excited to be moving back to a cubicle. I know that most people would die for an office like mine. Hell, even I was excited when I first got it, but the longer I think about it, the more I realize that an office isn't the place for me right now. I was sitting in the cube that we assigned to the temp today getting her computer up and running (because the Help Desk is NO help at all) and I realized that I missed the open air feeling of a cube. I absolutely hated my last one because it was right in the middle of a high traffic aisle and people were passing by my desk ALL the time, but the ones I had before that were great.

I've come to see my office as...well...isolating. I'm a social person. I like to talk to people and see how they're doing. In an office you have to have people come to you, or you have to leave to go to them. You can't just ask across the way. I can't tell you how many days I've had where literally hours have gone by and I haven't seen or heard from anyone. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure I will miss my door the first time I hear someone talking about their personal problems 5 feet away from me, but I'd rather be in that situation than be cut off from everything. I'd like an office one day, but I think I'm ok with giving mine up right now.

So that's all she wrote for today. I have 2 farewell lunches this week, so I'm excited about the free food. Hehe. Tomorrow's is at the Capital Grille. Woo hoo!

Until next time!

634: Apple

2008-03-26T15:16:00.003-04:00

Not one of my more descriptive titles, but I have a couple of things to discuss about the aforementioned company.

First, the headphones that came with my iPhone SUCK. I was listening to music the other day and I noticed that the sound was crackling back and forth between earpieces. I immediately freaked out, thinking that there was something wrong with the iPhone and started sweating over what I would do if I had to pay to fix it.

After a minute or two, I calmed down and realized that it could just be the headphones, which are a "mere" $30 to replace. At my next available opportunity, I went online and found that there were a ton of negative reviews about these babies. Apparently mine were the elders of the bunch, lasting about 6 months. Most people started to have trouble with theirs around the 3-4 month mark. I confirmed my theory when I used the headphones with my radio (yes, I still have a radio) and detected the same problem.

At the moment I'm not sure what I'm going to do. People hear echoes when I talk to them with the mic attached to the heaphones, so I can't use them for calls anymore. I don't want to shell out $30 for another crappy pair of the same, but I also don't want to spend $100 on really nice ones. I've gotten used to the mic in the headset, so I might just try to find a reasonably priced one that has it all, if it exists. If not, I'll have to figure something out.

I just hate the fact that such a high quality phone comes with such shitty accessories. All of the other iPod headphones that I've had in the past have worked fine. They've lasted for a year or more, which is pretty good considering how much I use them. These barely even made it through 6 months of moderate use. I guess you can't have everything.

In more positive news, I have changed my opinion about the MacBook Air. One of my friends has one and I played with it this past weekend. It's absolutely amazing. They keyboard is really nice, the touchpad is huge and lets you do things like rotate images and zoom in and out. It really is as thin and light as they say it is too. As for the lack of an optical drive, I thought about it and realized that for the most part, nothing that I would use it for would require a drive.

Basically the only things I use optical drives for now are: burning discs, installing software and playing games. I don't use my laptop for gaming, so that's not a problem. I only burn discs on my desktop because that's where I store most of my files, so that wipes that concern away. And finally, whatever software I can't download from the company's website or transfer from my USB drive, I can just use the virtual disc feature to access a CD drive nearby.

My original concerns were centered around that fact that it was a basically an internet/email/chat system, but then I realized that's all I use my laptop for now anyway. The only sticking point I still have is the price. I paid $400 for my Acer laptop last year, but the MacBook Air is literally about 5x as expensive. To me, that's still not even close to worth it. I'd sooner spend that on an HDTV or new furniture. If someone gave one to me though, I definitely wouldn't turn them down. = )

In other news, I went to a sneak preview of a PBS series called Carrier last night with my dad. They were showing it in the channel 13 studios on 33rd street and 9th Avenue. It was an interesting chronicle of life aboard the USS Nimitz, a nuclear powered aircraft carrier. Basically it totally debunked the fact that serving aboard one of those ships is a glamour job. I learned that it's more like a combination of a frat house and a high school. Most of the people there just perform services like cooking, cleaning, maintenance, etc. There are very few people that actually fly the jets and make command decisions.

I knew the series was going to take an honest look at things when it opened up with The Killers' "All These Things That I've Done", which has the line "I've got soul but I'm not a soldier" in it. I was concerned that it was going to be a ra-ra series talking about how great things were in the Navy and how we should all join up, but I was pleasantly surprised. So much for those accusations that PBS doesn't show non-partisan programming.

What disturbed me a bit about the ship itself was that the crew was mostly made up of kids in their late teens from Bumblefuck, USA. Most of them seemed to come from pretty poor backgrounds and were driven there because they had nothing else going for them. The Navy offered them a chance for a steady job and a chance to get out of their home towns. This is what the military sends out to defend us from threats...high school kids looking for a way out of Dullsville and Povertytown. It's not all that reassuring to be honest.

At any rate, it was a very interesting preview and my dad and I had a very good discussion about it afterwards, so it was a really nice night. The food was a bit weird though. They had cajun turkey meatloaf, sweet potatoes with pineapple, corn, pasta primavera and spinach salad. Not exactly your standard fare, but tasty nonetheless. They gave us MRE (meal ready to eat) dessert packs, but I passed. My Almond Poppy Poundcake was about 310 calories with 20% of my daily intake of saturated fat in it. Good to know we're keeping our boys and girls on the front lines healthy...

That's all for today folks.

Until next time!